Chapter 611: Minato Has No Bottom Line

“What the hell?!”

Naruto was completely stunned.

He had seen Ōtsutsuki Urashiki and Ōtsutsuki Momoshiki before.

The Ōtsutsuki clan specialized in dōjutsu, and some of them even had eyes in unusual places, such as the centers of their palms.

It looked a little unsettling, but also undeniably cool.

But this?

Why the hell did Ōtsutsuki Isshiki have an eye there?

The explanation was actually simple.

Teuchi’s body was far less suitable as a vessel than Jigen’s body in the real shinobi world, while Isshiki himself had also been much closer to death when he found him.

With both problems stacked together, Teuchi’s body needed a far more direct means of channeling Isshiki’s power.

More importantly, hiding in someone’s ear was relatively safe.

Hiding in the digestive tract meant being subjected to absorption.

Naturally, an Ōtsutsuki like Isshiki wasn’t going to be digested by an ordinary human, but the process still took place to some extent.

Over the course of a thousand years, that area gradually became the primary concentration point for Isshiki’s power.

The body absorbed traces of Isshiki’s strength, which strengthened the vessel.

A stronger vessel could then absorb even more of Isshiki’s power.

The cycle continued for centuries.

By now, Ōtsutsuki Isshiki and Teuchi’s consciousnesses had long since become inseparable.

Unlike Jigen in the real shinobi world, who was essentially nothing more than Isshiki’s puppet, this world’s Isshiki had developed something closer to a split personality.

Otherwise, why would an ancient Ōtsutsuki care so deeply about Naruto not coming to eat ramen?

And now, the eye Teuchi had revealed was none other than Isshiki’s dōjutsu.

“Sukunahikona!”

Teuchi shouted the technique’s name.

That was right.

Isshiki’s ability to instantly shrink any nonliving object other than himself.

Jiraiya’s Ultra-Big Ball Rasengan had been reduced to the size of a candy precisely because of this technique.

During the Boruto era, Jiraiya’s clone, Kashin Koji, had fought Jigen and Isshiki, exhausted every trick he possessed, lost, and barely escaped.

Was Engraved Tsukuyomi really about to recreate that battle?

Unfortunately, this world’s Isshiki didn’t even possess the weaknesses of his real counterpart.

He might have mental problems, but after a thousand years of continuously absorbing Isshiki’s power, Teuchi’s body had finally become strong enough to withstand it.

He didn’t need Kāma to gradually release Isshiki’s strength.

He could already use it directly.

And there was no time limit.

“Sexy Jutsu!”

“Reverse Harem Jutsu!”

For the first time, Naruto experienced genuine despair.

He had reached the point of throwing out random techniques and hoping something—anything—would work.

In terms of raw power, Teuchi completely overwhelmed him.

Even if Kushina arrived right now, Naruto doubted she could win.

Their opponent was an actual Ōtsutsuki.

Worse still, Teuchi’s mind clearly wasn’t functioning normally, so Talk no Jutsu was useless.

Naruto couldn’t even convince him that he still loved ramen.

And frankly, even if Teuchi had been perfectly sane, the real Ōtsutsuki Isshiki had never shown the slightest interest in romance.

To Isshiki, seeing Naruto use his trademark transformation techniques was probably no different from Naruto seeing Mount Myōboku’s toads or the Inuzuka clan’s ninja hounds walking around without clothes.

“Naruto, you’ve disappointed me.”

Teuchi stared down at him.

“I was still wondering whether you might have some kind of legitimate reason.”

“But first you ran away, then you fought back.”

“That proves it.”

“You really betrayed ramen.”

Teuchi opened his right eye.

Daikokuten.

A massive black cube appeared from the timeless dimension connected to his dōjutsu and crashed down, instantly destroying every one of Naruto’s shadow clones.

The real Naruto was pinned beneath Teuchi’s foot.

Only now did Naruto finally understand.

Daikokuten functioned somewhat like Kamui, connecting to an independent dimension where objects could be stored.

That enormous black cube had been kept inside it.

And the eye controlling Daikokuten was Teuchi’s ordinary right eye.

No wonder Old Man Ichiraku always kept his eyes narrowed.

He had been hiding a terrifying dōjutsu all along.

The other eye, meanwhile…

Naruto’s expression became complicated.

At a time like this, Kakashi-sensei’s ancestral secret technique, One Thousand Years of Death, would have been the perfect counter.

But Naruto couldn’t even match Teuchi’s speed.

How was he supposed to get close enough to disable that eye?

“Naruto, don’t be afraid! We’re here!”

A reliable voice suddenly rang out.

Namikaze Minato appeared beside Naruto with a kunai in hand.

Standing next to him was Kakashi—

whose clothes were noticeably disheveled.

Kakashi had previously forced himself to use Kamui to send Naruto away and passed out from the chakra drain, leaving Yamato to deal with him for a while.

When Minato learned what was happening here, he had been urgently called into action.

He came up with a possible solution, but it required Kakashi’s cooperation, so he went to retrieve him.

As another Nine-Tails jinchūriki, Minato wrapped Kakashi in a layer of Nine-Tails chakra and managed to wake him up.

“…”

Naruto immediately felt guilty.

Not long ago, he had been plotting to trick his father into getting his Nine-Tails extracted while planning to pressure Kakashi into helping.

Yet now—

His father had brought Kakashi here specifically to save him.

“Dad, get out of here!”

Naruto shouted.

“You’re no match for Old Man Ichiraku!”

He knew Minato possessed Flying Raijin and was considered the fastest shinobi alive.

But Flying Raijin still required a formula.

To attack Teuchi, Minato first needed to make contact and somehow place a mark on him.

More importantly—

Naruto suddenly remembered that Ōtsutsuki could absorb ninjutsu.

‘Damn it.’

If he had known something like this would happen, he should have spread his Sage Mode shortcut throughout this world too.

Makoto and Akatsuki in the real world really had been thinking ahead.

You genuinely never knew whether tomorrow or disaster would arrive first.

Naruto was filled with regret.

“Naruto, you’re seriously underestimating your father.”

Minato puffed out his chest proudly.

“You think I could sneak around behind your terrifying mother’s back for all these years without possessing a few tricks?”

“Your mother still hasn’t killed me precisely because, even though she’s convinced I’ve done things behind her back, she’s never managed to obtain concrete proof!”

Naruto stared.

Something about that sounded inspiring.

And yet also deeply wrong.

Minato raised two fingers.

An explosive tag was pinched between them.

He smiled confidently.

“Flying Raijin: Guiding Thunder.”

The explosive tag vanished.

The next instant—

A violent explosion erupted directly beneath Teuchi.

“What?!”

Naruto’s eyes widened.

When had Minato placed a Flying Raijin formula there?!

Wait.

Could it be—

Had his father and Old Man Ichiraku actually—

“Naruto, don’t misunderstand.”

Minato immediately saw where his son’s imagination was going.

“Your father may be questionable, but even I have standards.”

“These marks were created because I have standards.”

Naruto blinked.

“What?”

“I embezzled some of the public funds your mother gave me and used them to manufacture a huge batch of toilet paper.”

Minato grinned.

“Then I distributed it free of charge to everyone in Konoha.”

Naruto’s face slowly went blank.

“Every sheet carried my Flying Raijin formula.”

“As long as someone used that toilet paper even once, the formula would be transferred onto them.”

Minato pointed proudly toward the smoke.

“Maybe Teuchi doesn’t even need to use the bathroom normally.”

“But if he wanted to maintain his disguise as an ordinary human, sooner or later he’d have to at least pretend.”

“And the moment he wiped—”

“He was marked.”

Naruto stared at his father in awe.

Then, from within the smoke—

Smack.

A mysterious object bearing the words Sword of Shinobi Love flew out and struck Minato directly on the head.

Teuchi calmly walked out of the explosion.

Completely unharmed.