Chapter 88: Nora’s Heart

Nora’s POV:

Tonight was the hardest evening of my life. It wasn’t only because I had to attend the ball, or because I had to keep myself out of the political maneuvering, or because I had to stop other girls from getting closer to my Neo. It was because tonight, the person who had become my anchor, who kept me from walking down a dark path, who I had come to care about, who I had begun to believe was my family, told me that all the time we had spent together was only because he considered me a friend.

I don’t know what it means to be a friend. He was the one who taught me that word. I don’t know what it means to care about someone. I forgot its meaning after my parents’ deaths, but he was the one who kept teaching it to me.

After years of staying together, I don’t know when these feelings began to grow inside me. I don’t know what they are exactly, and I don’t know what to call them. But I know I don’t want to stay away from him. I don’t want any other person in my life except him. I don’t want anyone else meddling in his life except me. I don’t want anyone to touch him except me.

I don’t know when such an obsession grew inside me. Was it when he stopped pitying me and started taking care of me? Or was it when he called me his friend, his equal and we began exchanging letters?

I don’t know.

But I know one thing. I am incomplete without him. I am just a broken doll, owning nothing precious of my own.

I have been deaf since I was born. I am cursed by something unknown. I can’t hear other people’s laughter or crying. I can’t comfort others the way they comfort me. I can’t express my emotions the way others do. My personality is the kind many people would hate, and maybe even Neo feels intimidated by me sometimes. I have noticed it from time to time while staying with him. Maybe he is afraid of me too.

If I’m being honest with myself, I am one of the most worthless people in this world, only a burden for someone else to carry. There is no reason for me to stay alive. I should be dead. I want to die. I have to die.

But I... I want him to stay beside me before I die.

It’s selfish to say that, but I don’t want to die without him by my side. Without him shedding tears for me. I would like to see someone feel sad at my absence.

...

Four months later

In a completely dark room, where nothing was properly visible, a girl sat in the far corner on the floor, clutching her knees tightly, quivering and trembling with every passing moment. No voice came from her mouth, only a muffled sob from time to time, though even that had stopped several hours ago.

Her hair was in complete disarray, dark circles surrounded both of her eyes, and her face was mostly hidden behind her bangs, though the dried marks of tears were still visible on her cheeks.

The girl was Nora. It had been four months since the devils’ attack and since the day Neo went missing. Her legs were still injured and strained because she hadn’t allowed the healers to heal them. She didn’t want to. Healing would only fix the outer pain, and what she felt inside was far deeper than any pain she had ever known.

Even though she hadn’t been able to hear the devils’ words that day, or read their expressions, she had still seen Neo’s face and how fiercely he tried to protect her. She knew that whatever the reason the devils attacked them, she must have been involved. She didn’t know what the devils wanted from her, but unfortunately, Neo had been dragged into her mess, just as he had been the last time, when the mercenaries came. It had always been the same, with him protecting her in every situation while she stayed in the background, rather than pushing herself to help him, rather than dealing with her own problems and letting him help her.

She had become so comfortable with him that she had begun to depend on him entirely. Even with such a unique power in her hands, she was powerless whenever it was time to use it properly to protect someone.

It had always been like this. She lost control whenever she felt overwhelmed by grief or anger.

As she sat there trembling, the door of the dark room opened, letting a little dim light spill in from the corridor. A person stepped inside, and Nora could see the shadow, though she didn’t have the energy to look up.

The person walked over, knelt down in front of her, wrapped her arms around Nora, and embraced her warmly, stroking her back.

Nora stayed quiet through all of it. She didn’t look up to see who it was, because she already knew it was her own illusion.

"I... I’m sorry."

The person, or more accurately, her other self, continued stroking her back without replying.

Nora trembled in her arms, clutching her dress.

"I’m sorry... I failed to protect him."

The other Nora’s hand paused for a second before resuming. Then she pulled back slightly. Her face was calm, with no hint of grief or sadness, the emotionless version of herself, the one who felt nothing.

"Why are you apologizing to me? It isn’t your fault. Whatever Neo did was his own choice. You shouldn’t blame yourself for it."

Nora remained unmoved by the comforting words. She stayed silent for a few seconds before mumbling.

"Is he alive? Or..."

The other Nora looked at her trembling form and lifted her chin so their eyes met.

"Listen, Nora. If Neo comes back and sees you like this, he will blame himself entirely. Do you want him to see you like this? Instead of looking like a mess, you should stay strong for when he returns."

Nora’s breathing stopped for a moment as she looked at her, not knowing what to say or how to answer.

"Come out, Nora. If you would rather waste your time locked in this room all day, then you should become stronger instead, and take revenge on the people who wronged him."

Nora’s eyes widened slightly, her trembling suddenly stopped, and her breathing slowed as she narrowed her eyes.

Revenge.

It was a word she wasn’t familiar with. She had only heard it in storybooks, where the main character takes revenge for a loved one who has died, or the villain takes revenge because something they cared about has been lost.

She had only ever heard those words in fantasy. She had never imagined that one day she would choose to walk the same path.

But as she thought about that word, something stirred in her heart, her eyes darkened, and a new spark of fire ignited inside her, making her feel far more alive than before. She forced herself to stand, took a few steps, stumbling from her strained legs, but she gathered her courage and walked steadily, stepping out into the light and feeling its warmth spread outward.

’I will kill every one of them who tried to hurt my Neo. And the devils will pay the price for what they did to him.’

A faint smile appeared on the face of her other self as she watched Nora walk away. Her figure slowly began to dissolve into the air, breaking apart into countless faint particles before disappearing completely, leaving the dark room behind in utter silence.