Chapter 1: Poopy Princess

Hurry!

Su Qing’s legs hurriedly pounded across the floor as she rushed towards the toilet.

After 7 hours of nonstop lectures, her stomach had finally given up and was about to unload the package of death.

Su Qing pushed herself faster, ignoring the crazy looks a few students gave her.

If they had eaten spoilt noodles and eggs the night before, only to then have classes from morning to afternoon without a break, perhaps they would understand!

The toilet door appeared right in front of her, and in her haze of relief, she accidentally slipped into the male toilet!

Su Qing dropped her bag with a clatter and entered the first toilet, immediately unbuckling her belt.

She landed on her porcelain saviour, letting out a sound of relief as her stomach finally fired.

"Thank goodness," she muttered to herself, wiping off the beads of sweat trailing down her forehead. She had done her best to hold it in, despite unfortunately releasing some silent but lethal farts during the lectures.

Still, this felt like a victory to her.

Just as she was rounding up, the door suddenly yanked open and the sound of male voices filled the space.

Su Qing’s eyes widened in horror as one of them suddenly stopped talking upon inhaling her fumes.

"Bro what the fuck? Who’s blowing up the toilet?"

Su Qing felt her soul shatter into a million pieces.

Why....why are there guys here?!

Did I enter the wrong bathroom?!

"Tell me about it," she heard another male voice, and he sounded disgusted. Their feet shuffled across the floor as she froze, more sweat forming on her face.

"Wait....isn’t that for a lady?"

Su Qing’s eyes widened. She left her bag outside! Her bright and obviously feminine bag with a dangling keychain. Shit.

"Yeah," the voice that had spoken first rang out again. "Man we should probably get out of here. This place stinks."

"I agree. Just a word of advice, strange poopy princess. Next time don’t eat trash!"

They snickered amongst themselves as they walked out of the bathroom, leaving a mortified Su Qing alone. But on the bright side, it could have been worse.

They didn’t see her ID card, so they didn’t know who exactly was....in their words ’blowing up the toilet.’

Sigh.

She let out a groan, burying her face in her hands. "How am I supposed to walk out again after this?" she whispered to herself. "I can’t. I’ll just.....live here now. This is my home."

She finished up, flushed, and reluctantly pulled up her pants. After washing her hands, her legs felt like jelly as she unlocked the door and stepped out.

The embarrassment she felt was enough to last a life time. But she couldn’t even process it well, because she noticed something strange.

Su Qing blinked.

The bathroom was gone.

In fact, everything was gone.

The floor beneath her feet had disappeared, replaced by...nothing. Just open air.

"What—"

She looked down.

And that broke the spell.

She started to fall.

The world around her sparkled like someone had shattered a thousand mirrors, fragments of light dancing past her as she plummeted through the sky. Wind whipped her hair into a frenzy, her screams tearing out of her throat.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT IS— WHAT IS GOING ON?! AHHHHHHHH!"

She flailed her arms and legs like a panicked cockroach, her eyes watering from the high speed of her descent. Buildings, clouds, birds, everything blurred past her in streaks of colour.

"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?! I JUST WANTED TO USE THE TOILET!"

Thump.

Su Qing landed face-first into something soft. Really, really soft.

She groaned, spitting out a mouthful of...petals?

Slowly, she pushed herself up and looked around.

She was lying in a massive bush of flowers, bright pink, purple, and yellow blooms that seemed to glow under a sky that definitely did NOT look like the one above her university. The petals cushioned her fall so perfectly that she didn’t feel a single ache.

Her hair was a complete disaster, sticks, leaves, and flower petals tangled everywhere.

She blew a stray strand out of her face and blinked.

"Where... the hell... am I?"

She scrambled to her feet, brushing petals and leaves off her clothes. The air smelled sweet, heavy with the scent of roses and some exotic, perfumed flower she didn’t recognize.

As she tried to orient herself, she noticed a small streak of water glittering in the distance, a pond, maybe. She stumbled toward it, her legs still shaking from the fall.

Kneeling at the edge, she peered into the clear water to check if her face was scratched up.

And froze.

Staring back at her was a face she didn’t recognize.

Pale, flawless porcelain skin. Deep red eyes, heavily lidded and framed by dark lashes. A cascade of matching blood-red, wavy hair that fell over her shoulders, dripping with gold chains and tiny sparkling gemstones.

Su Qing touched her cheek. The reflection did the same.

"Ehhh???"

She yanked at her hair, her jaw dropping. The reflection gaped back at her. She grabbed her chest, she felt a heavy bodice instead of her usual hoodie and jeans.

"How did this happen?! What is this?! Ehhhhhh!"

Her hysterical shrieks echoed across the garden. She stood up, panicked, looking down at her extravagant, floor-length dark burgundy gown. She looked like a walking piece of Renaissance art.

Suddenly, the air in front of her shimmered. Little pixels of blue light hardened, swirling into a solid, glowing mass.

Pop!

A small figure materialized in the air just a few inches from her nose. It looked like a plush toy, a white robotic cat with massive helmet ears, a black visor for a face, and blazing pink glowing eyes. It did a little floaty kick in the air.

"Hello! I am your system. Cheshire."

Su Qing’s brain short-circuited.

"AAAHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" she screamed, stumbling backward and tripping over her ridiculously long skirts.

Cheshire tilted its head, the pink eyes glowing brighter. "Stop screaming. It hurts my audio receptors."

"Did—did that little space-cat just talk to me?!" Su Qing shrieked, pointing a trembling finger at it.

Cheshire floated around her head, ignoring her panic. "I can materialize physically, and also in your mind. Let me show you."

Boom!

Suddenly, the world around her went pitch black, and a giant, glowing blue interface slammed into her direct line of sight.

[Welcome, Host.]

She read the text, her eyes widening in horror:

[Name: Su Qing

Age: 23

Status: Replaced soul of former Empress of Zyleria, Empress Karina de Laurentis

Age: 26

Children: Four

Husbands: Four]

Su Qing froze, her mouth hanging open. "Replaced someone’s soul? Four... children? Four husbands????"

She blinked rapidly, reading it over and over again. "What... what is...TAKE ME BACK!!!"

Cheshire vanished from her mind screen and materialized his physical form again, hovering in front of her. The little cat crossed its stubby arms.

"Hmmm. I will think about it."

Su Qing’s fury broke through her terror. "What do you mean you’ll think about it?! Get back here!!!"

She lunged forward to grab the little robotic cat, but it zipped away, cackling, Mew he he he, just out of reach.

Su Qing was about to chase it when a sudden, deep cough cut through the garden.

She froze mid-step. Slowly, she turned her head.