Chapter 947: Ghost That Follows Her

“I’m happy.” Stella murmured in front of the bathroom mirror, observing her own reflection while resting her hands on the marble counter. She was completely naked, having just taken off her clothes to bathe, but had remained still for several minutes. The suite was wonderful, dinner had been pleasant and Vergil was finally spending some time exclusively with her. There was no reason to be sad.

“I’m happy.” Stella repeated, this time trying to accompany the words with a smile. She watched the movement of her own lips and the expression that appeared on her face, searching for something that confirmed what she was saying. The smile looked natural at first glance, but disappeared as soon as she stopped making an effort to maintain it.

She took a deep breath.

“I’m happy…” Stella tried again, closing her eyes for a few seconds before releasing them with a tired sigh. “Then why am I feeling something bad?”

The question remained unanswered.

Stella opened her eyes and looked back at the mirror. She could not explain exactly what she was feeling. There were moments when she truly felt happy, like when she had tried the sweets with Vergil or when he had hugged her in front of the hotel window. However, that happiness seemed to disappear far too quickly, leaving behind an unpleasant feeling she had been trying to ignore for some time.

She was so focused on her own thoughts that she did not immediately notice the presence that appeared behind her.

Two arms wrapped around her waist.

Stella raised her eyes and found Vergil reflected in the mirror. He was wearing only comfortable pants, having left his shirt in the bedroom, and was watching her with an expression very different from the one he had shown during the date.

“So there was something wrong… makes sense.” Vergil murmured while gently pulling her against his chest, resting his chin on her shoulder. “I was starting to think it was strange how quiet you’ve been lately.”

Stella did not try to move away. On the contrary, she placed her hands over his arms and remained leaning against his body, observing the two of them through the mirror.

“It’s confusing.” Stella replied after a few seconds, unable to find an explanation that truly satisfied her. “I haven’t been very present, have I? Not with you, not with the others. Sometimes I realize several days have passed and I practically haven’t done anything besides stay home.”

“I noticed.” Vergil replied while slowly caressing the side of her waist. “After some time, both you and Roxanne pulled away quite a bit. But Roxanne isn’t exactly like you.”

Stella raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

“Roxanne is a little snake.” Vergil replied with absolute naturalness, drawing a small laugh from Stella. “She keeps slithering around corners, watching everything and waiting for the right moment to strike. Even when she seems distant, she’s usually planning something.”

“You’re talking about my daughter.” Stella commented, although the smile on her face showed she did not completely disagree with the description.

“I know very well who I’m talking about.” Vergil replied while softly kissing her temple. “But you’re different. Roxanne pulls away to observe. You simply disappear. You don’t look for anyone, you show no interest in going out and, when you do appear, you seem to be counting the minutes until you can go back to your room.”

Stella lowered her eyes.

Vergil did not continue immediately. He realized she was thinking about it and preferred to let her organize her own words.

“I’m afraid.” Stella finally confessed, tightening her hold on his arms slightly. “Afraid the same thing that happened with my previous husband will happen again.”

Vergil became still.

Ashborn’s name immediately appeared in his thoughts, but he did not interrupt.

“I don’t feel safe.” Stella continued while trying to smile at her own reflection. “It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? Look where we are. I have a family, I have you, I practically don’t need to worry about anything… and even so, I keep waiting for something to go wrong.”

She let out a small laugh without any joy.

“Maybe I should look for a therapist.” Stella commented, maintaining that smile while subtly shaking her head. “That would be funny, wouldn’t it? A woman like me, after everything I’ve lived through, needing to talk to someone because she can’t enjoy her own happiness.”

Vergil observed her reflection.

The smile was there, but he could not see any happiness behind it. It was a tired expression, constructed to make it seem like the subject was not that serious. Stella was trying to turn her own suffering into a joke before he could realize how much it truly bothered her.

“I don’t think it’s funny.” Vergil replied while bringing his lips closer to her neck and placing a lingering kiss there. “If you think talking to someone might help, I don’t see any reason not to do it.”

Stella closed her eyes when she felt the kiss.

“You don’t think it’s an overreaction?”

“No.” Vergil replied, keeping her in his arms while observing her reflection. “But I want to understand something. What are you so afraid of, Stella? What happened for you to change completely?”

She remained silent.

“You were an obsessive, interesting woman who had no problem saying what she wanted.” Vergil continued without trying to hide his concern. “Sometimes even too much. But after I killed Ashborn, you became so… reclusive. At first I thought you needed time, so I didn’t want to bother you. But it kept happening.”

Stella took a deep breath.

“I don’t know.” Stella replied while slowly releasing his arms and resting her hands on the counter again. “I just don’t feel as free as before. It’s like something changed inside me and I can’t figure out what.”

She looked at Vergil through the mirror.

“There’s a ghost following me.”

Vergil remained quiet for a few seconds.

“Ashborn?” Vergil asked while loosening his embrace slightly, giving her room to turn if she wanted.

“Maybe.” Stella replied, subtly frowning. “Or maybe it’s the woman I was when I was with him. I can’t separate the two very well.”

Vergil slowly nodded.

Stella finally turned to face him. Her arms remained resting on his, but now she could observe his face directly without depending on the mirror.

“For a long time, I knew exactly what I wanted.” Stella explained while searching for the words. “I could be obsessive, possessive, inconvenient… but at least I understood my own feelings. If something bothered me, I did something about it. If I wanted someone, I went after them. If I was dissatisfied, I didn’t keep pretending everything was fine.”

“That I remember.” Vergil replied with a small smile, recalling some of the situations in which Stella’s personality had put the two of them in rather complicated circumstances.

“But now I can’t do that.” Stella continued, ignoring the teasing. “I have everything that should make me satisfied, and even so it feels like I’m waiting for something. I don’t know what. I don’t know when. I just feel like I can’t completely relax.”

She lowered her face.

“Sometimes I think that if I let myself like something too much, I’ll end up losing it too.”

Vergil brought one hand to her chin and gently raised her face.

“Are you afraid of losing me?”

Stella hesitated.

“That too.” Stella replied, deciding not to lie. “But it’s not just that. I’m afraid of becoming who I was again. I’m afraid of getting too attached, becoming obsessive again and ending up ruining everything. And at the same time, I’m afraid of distancing myself so much that you simply stop looking for me.”

Vergil subtly frowned.

“So you’re trying to avoid two completely opposite things.”

“I know.” Stella let out a tired laugh and ran a hand over her face. “That’s why I’m saying maybe I need therapy. Even I can’t understand what I’m doing.”

“You don’t need to solve this alone.” Vergil replied while caressing her face. “And you also don’t need to choose between clinging to me all the time or disappearing for weeks.”

Stella observed his eyes for a few seconds.

“You say it as if it’s simple.”

“I’m not saying it’s simple.” Vergil replied, keeping his voice calm. “I’m just saying you can come to me whenever you want. If you need to be alone, that’s fine. If you want to spend the entire day with me, that’s fine too. What I don’t want is for you to force yourself to look happy because you think you have to.”

Stella looked away.

Those last words bothered her more than she expected.

“You heard?”

“I did.” Vergil replied, briefly looking at the mirror behind her. “I arrived while you were repeating that you were happy.”

Stella let out a sigh.

“How embarrassing.”

“Why?”

“Because it seems pathetic.” Stella replied while resting her forehead against his chest. “A woman my age trying to convince herself she’s happy in front of a mirror.”

Vergil wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

“You don’t need to convince yourself of anything.” Vergil replied while stroking her hair. “Today was a good day. We ate, walked around, you bought enough sweets to feed half the hotel… That doesn’t stop being true just because you’re sad now.”

Stella remained hugging him.

“I really liked today.” Stella murmured after a few seconds. “I wasn’t pretending when I said that.”

“I know.” Vergil replied, softly kissing the top of her head. “You looked quite happy when you were choosing the desserts.”

“Especially the strawberry daifuku.”

“Naturally.”

She laughed softly.

This time, the smile appeared without her needing to force it.

Vergil noticed, but did not comment. He simply continued holding her while Stella slowly regained some calm.

“There’s something else.” Stella said after some time, raising her face to look at him. “When you killed Ashborn, I thought I would finally be able to leave everything behind. I thought that without him, I would simply go back to being how I was before.”

Vergil listened carefully.

“But that’s not what happened.” Stella continued, subtly pressing her lips together. “I felt relieved. Very much. But after the relief came a strange feeling. Like I had spent so long living around certain things that, when they ended, I no longer knew what to do with myself.”

Vergil began to understand a little better.

“You lost part of your routine, but didn’t find anything else to put in its place.”

“Maybe.” Stella slowly nodded. “Before, I always had something occupying my mind. Now I can do practically whatever I want, but I almost never feel like doing anything. And when I do, I start thinking too much.”

“That explains why you’ve been avoiding the others.” Vergil commented while moving back just enough to observe her better. “Not because you stopped liking them, but because even leaving the house became something you need to convince yourself to do.”

Stella nodded again.

“Exactly.”

Vergil became thoughtful for a few seconds.

“Then we’ll find someone you can talk to about this.” Vergil finally replied without treating the decision as anything extraordinary. “It doesn’t need to be tomorrow, and you don’t need to tell me what you discuss during the sessions. But if you think it might help, it’s worth trying.”

Stella looked surprised.

“You really think I should?”

“I think you’re telling me you haven’t felt well for quite a while.” Vergil replied while caressing her cheek with his thumb. “And I don’t want to ignore that just because you can smile and pretend everything is normal.”

She remained looking at him.

“You’re not disappointed?”

“With what?”

“With me.” Stella replied almost immediately. “You met a completely different woman. Now you go weeks without really seeing me and, when we finally manage to go out together, I end up having an emotional crisis in a hotel bathroom.”

Vergil let out a small sigh.

“Stella, I met an obsessive woman who frequently did absurd things.” Vergil replied while a faint smile appeared on his face. “Now I’m seeing that same woman trying to understand why she can’t act the way she used to anymore. I don’t think that’s a reason to be disappointed.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“You really don’t know how to give compliments.”

“I’m learning.”

Stella let out a slightly more sincere laugh.

Vergil took the opportunity to kiss her again, this time on the lips, without hurry. When he pulled away, Stella remained close, gently holding his arms.

“You still like me even like this?” Stella asked, although she seemed slightly embarrassed that she needed to hear the answer.

“I do.” Vergil replied immediately, without showing any doubt. “The obsessive woman, the woman who spends the entire day eating sweets and also this one who’s here trying to figure out what to do with her own life.”

Stella lowered her eyes for a moment.

“You’re going to make me cry.”

“You can cry.” Vergil replied while hugging her again. “You just don’t need to keep trying to smile while doing it.”

Stella tightened her arms around him.

For several minutes, neither of them said anything. Vergil remained with her in front of the counter, slowly stroking her hair while Stella tried to organize her own feelings. There was no revelation capable of solving everything, nor any sudden change that made her return to being the woman she had been before. The fear was still there, but for the first time in a long time she was not trying to hide it from someone she loved.

“Vergil?” Stella called softly, raising her face after some time.

“Yes?”

“Can we stay here for a few more days?” Stella asked while running her fingers over his chest. “I don’t want to go home tomorrow. I want to enjoy a little more of this time with you.”

Vergil briefly thought about the commitments he still had, his training with Susanoo and the countless people who were probably already looking for him.

“We can.” Vergil replied while moving a few strands of hair away from her face. “I’ll organize my things. We don’t need to spend every day doing something special.”

Stella smiled.

“I want to visit more confectioneries.”

“Of course you do.” Vergil replied with a small laugh. “I should’ve predicted that before agreeing.”

“And I want to sleep late.”

“I figured that too.”

“And I want you with me.”

Vergil tilted his head and kissed her forehead.

“That part was already included.”

Stella closed her eyes for a few seconds, satisfied with the answer. Then she gently moved away and looked at the bathtub she had prepared before she started talking to her own reflection.

“Now I need to take a bath.” Stella commented while checking the water temperature. “You interrupted my plans.”

“Sorry about that.” Vergil replied, although his expression showed he was not particularly sorry.

Stella looked over her shoulder.

“You can stay with me if you want.” Stella said with a faint smile, this time without any effort to maintain it. “I don’t really feel like being alone.”

Vergil nodded and approached again.

Stella held his hand.

She still did not know exactly how to get rid of that ghost, or how long it would take to understand what had changed inside her. However, while looking at Vergil beside her, she realized that maybe she did not need to find all the answers that night.