Chapter 70 Oh.

Chapter 70: 70 Oh.

The next morning, I awoke to find an empty space beside me where Ayra and Elsa had been. Faint voices drifted up from downstairs, so I didn’t need two guesses to figure out where they wandered off to.

I instantly felt kind of proud of Elsa—it wasn’t like her to get up before me. Not ever. No wait. This was suspicious.

I strained to listen, but I couldn’t make out words. I heard an animated discussion punctuated by occasional laughter here and there—nothing off, nothing intentionally veiled.

I stretched, determined to enjoy the moment of unexpected "me time" before facing whatever madness the day and my beauties would bring.

When I finally made my way to the kitchen, I found a pretty standard scene—at least, on the surface. Elsa was seated on the counter, but something about her demeanor seemed... not her. Her posture was different.

I couldn’t place just what it was, but it didn’t seem like her. When she turned to look at me, her piercing blue eyes had a reddish tint around the pupils.

"Good morning, Grey," she said, but the voice that emerged was a strange blend—Elsa’s vocal tone overlaid with Juniper’s accent.

"What the fuck?" I stopped in my tracks.

Ayra was munching toast nearby. She giggled, dropping crumbs from her mouth onto the floor. "We were thinking we could go to the mattress store as soon as you got up and had breakfast! Juniper will be riding along inside Elsa for our trip today! Isn’t it neat?"

"Riding along, huh," I repeated, trying to comprehend what I was seeing. "Right. You did mention this." I snapped my fingers as the dots started to connect on their own.

Elsa-Juniper nodded. "That’s right—Consciousness transference, as I’m told the girls informed you about the ability before. I can temporarily share a body with another party member when needed for public outings."

Her expression shifted slightly, becoming more Elsa-like. "It’s dreadfully invasive! She can see all my thoughts!" Then back to Juniper’s composure. "I cannot see all your thoughts, just surface impressions. And it’s all Grey this, Grey that—nothing surprising."

I approached cautiously. "So, both of you are... in there? At the same time?"

"Yes," they answered. "Though Elsa remains the primary controller of her body. I am merely a passenger who can occasionally take the reins, so to speak."

"That’s..." I searched for the right word. "Convenient. And kind of unsettling. Please never do that to me."

"I hope you can understand. It was either this or leave me behind entirely," Juniper’s influence said pragmatically. "This seems the more practical option, given our mattress-acquiring mission."

Yep. The mattress. After Juniper’s not-so-subtle hint last night, I’d promised to find a bed that could accommodate all of us—including twenty-something feet of snake tail. Not exactly a standard size at your average furniture store.

"So where’s the real Juniper?" I asked, glancing around. "Your body, I mean. Are you safe?"

"My physical body is resting in the guest room," Juniper replied through the princess. "It remains in a meditative state while my consciousness is projected here. I can return to it at any time."

Ayra bounced excitedly. "Can we go mattress shopping now? I’ve never been to a proper bedding store!"

"Yep," I grunted, nodding. "Let me just whip up a bit more for our breakfast than the toast falling out of your mouth, Ayra, and we’ll be on our way."

Not even an hour and a half later, we pulled into the sprawling parking lot of Slumberplex Ultra, the largest mattress store in the midwest—some say the entire USA. The gleaming glass facade promised "Sleep Solutions For Every Body" in massive letters. Well, today we were going to put that claim to the test.

The place was an absolute spectacle inside and out. Lots of glass walls, lots of fancy looking beds and covers, beds of every kind you can imagine. If we were going to find a bed that could fit us all, it’d be here.

"Remember," I cautioned as we walked toward the entrance, "try to act normal. No barking, no royal decrees, and absolutely no mention of other dimensions or magical abilities."

"We shall be the very picture of human normalcy," Elsa-Juniper assured me, though the red tint in her eyes flickered as she spoke.

The moment we entered the store, Ayra broke away from us, charging toward the nearest display. Before I could stop her, she had launched herself face-first onto a queen-sized mattress, sprawling across it shamelessly.

"Ayra!" I hissed. "What are you doing?!"

She lifted her head and revealed a pouting face. "Surprise test, Master! Beds must be ready to be comfortable even when they’re not expecting us."

Without waiting for a response, she bounded to the next display and repeated the process, earning startled looks from other customers.

"At least don’t call me ’Master’," I sighed.

Elsa and Juniper—one or both of them—watched with a complicated expression. "That’s not how mattress testing works," Juniper’s influence said sternly.

Then Elsa seemed to take over: "Though I must admit, her method has a certain elegant simplicity to it."

"No, it doesn’t," Juniper’s voice contradicted. "It’s embarrassing and draws unnecessary attention."

"Are you intentionally denigrating the opinion of the First Maiden?" Elsa’s haughty tone emerged.

"I’m suggesting that your standards for appropriate public behavior are questionably low," Juniper’s voice retorted.

I watched with growing alarm as Elsa and Juniper continued this bizarre self-argument. Their expressions shifted constantly between personalities mid-sentence, making it easy to spot that something fucking stupid was happening if anyone happened to look our way. In fact, a nearby couple had stopped browsing to stare openly at the spectacle.

"Shut your mouth," I whispered urgently. "Both of you. There’s a store associate heading this way."

Elsa-Juniper’s face froze in mid-argument, then smoothed into a neutral expression just as a salesman approached. He was middle-aged with a practiced smile and a name tag identifying him as "Bradley."

"Welcome to Slumberplex Ultra," Bradley greeted us. "How can I help you find your perfect sleep solution today?"

I cut straight to the point. "I need your biggest, most comfortable bed."

Bradley chuckled indulgently. "Well, we’ve got lots of options that might work for you. Sleep comfort is really a personalized experience, and—"

"Look, man," I interrupted. "Let’s not treat this like it’s super subjective. I need something way bigger than a California King, and I need it to be the most comfortable mattress you’ve got. Period."

Brad’s professional smile faltered as he studied me more carefully. His gaze shifted to Elsa’s face, then to Ayra, who had returned to our side with her hair mussed from multiple intentional face-plants. Understanding took shape in his eyes.

"Oh," he said simply. "I see."