Chapter 1256: A Life of His Own

The sentence changed him again.

Father.

He repeated it inside himself.

’I am someone’s father!’

His fingers tightened slightly against her.

Someone would one day hear the word Dad and think of him.

Someone will run toward him when frightened... a tiny person might crawl onto his chest and fall asleep there because they trusted his heartbeat enough to call it safety.

Someone would reach toward him with little arms; someone would cry his name, he/she might one day be embarrassed by him in public, which, considering who the father was, seemed almost guaranteed and grow while watching him and learn what a man was partly by looking at him.

That realization scared Phei more than the cultivation questions.

His expression became serious: "What if I mess this up?"

She stopped smiling.

Phei looked up.

There was the fear underneath everything.

"I don’t mean protecting." His voice lowered. "That part I understand. I’ll destroy anything that tries to hurt either of you."

She believed him completely.

Phei swallowed. "I mean being a father."

Her expression softened.

He looked down again. "What if I get things wrong? What if I become too protective? Kids hate that. What if I don’t know when to let go? What if I make mistakes Mom and Dad would’ve known how to avoid?"

She touched his cheek: "You will make mistakes."

Phei looked mildly betrayed by the immediate confirmation.

She smiled. "But so will I even though I have done this before.... but Phei, we will be together, not just me or just you trying to keep everything together; so we’ll learn."

Phei stared at her for a long moment before nodding. "Together."

"Together."

Another thought apparently attacked him: "What if the baby gets Void-Ice?"

She stared at him.

"Phei..."

"Think about it." He sat up straighter, suddenly possessed by the urgency of a man whose hypothetical newborn had already become a natural disaster. "What if Void-Ice awakens early? Can babies accidentally use powers?"

"I don’t know."

"We need to find out."

"Eventually."

"What if the little gremlin freezes the crib?"

She covered her face.

Phei remained entirely serious. "What if they opens a portal?"

Her hands lowered slowly. "Phei, the baby does not currently possess a crib from which to escape."

He paused and his gaze became thoughtful. "Right."

She sighed in relief.

Then Phei’s eyes brightened. "So we do need a crib. And a room," he continued, looking increasingly pleased with the revelation. "The nursery should be beside ours."

"Phei, we have months."

"Obviously beside ours."

"Phei."

"I could make stars across the ceiling."

She stared.

"Void-Ice stars," he clarified.

"Of course."

"Maybe little dragons too."

"Phei."

"Too much?"

"Yes."

He considered this with surprising seriousness. "Fine. Stars first. Dragons and fairies later." Oh he had someone who’ll create thousands of fairies!

She laughed into her hand.

Phei was already several developmental stages ahead: "When can we know whether it’s a boy or girl?"

She answered.

His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "What names do you like?"

"Phei."

"No, wait." He raised one hand. "Don’t tell me yet. We need a list."

"Phei."

"Actually, two lists."

She began laughing again.

Phei frowned at himself.

"No. One list. Two lists might bias us."

She finally caught his face between both palms.

"Phei."

He stopped and their eyes met; her cheeks were wet with tears and laughter.

"You’ve known you’re going to be a father for perhaps ten minutes, and you’re already planning powers, names, the nursery, whether the baby can teleport and where the crib should go."

Phei blinked.

A faint embarrassment entered his face.

"I may have moved slightly ahead."

"Slightly?"

"I haven’t asked about school yet."

Her mouth fell open.

Phei grinned.

For the first time since the announcement, the miracle stopped being only about the baby; it was happening inside her.

Her body would carry everything... her strength would feed another life. Her bones, blood, essence, sleep, comfort, appetite and health would all become part of keeping their child safe until it could enter the world.

Phei’s expression changed.

She noticed instantly.n"What?"

His hand rose to her cheek.

"What do you need?"

She blinked.

"Nothing right now."

"No." He shook his head gently and took both of her hands. "I mean from me. What do you need?"

Her eyes softened.

"If you’re tired, tell me. If you’re uncomfortable, tell me. If something hurts, I want to know immediately. If you wake up at three in the morning craving something from the other side of Earth, wake me up."

Her lips twitched.

"Phei..."

"I can portal."

"I know."

"So distance is a very weak excuse for denying my pregnant woman whatever food she wants."

Her eyes immediately filled again.

Phei continued before his own emotions could stop him. "If you can’t sleep, wake me. If you’re scared, wake me. If you think something feels wrong, you don’t sit there wondering whether you’re bothering me. You tell me." His fingers squeezed hers. "I don’t care what I’m doing."

Her breath trembled.

"You could be fighting someone."

"I’ll finish faster."

That earned a wet laugh.

Phei smiled faintly, then became serious again. "If you’re worried about the baby, tell me. If you’re worried about yourself, tell me. If you’re angry with me for absolutely no reason..."

Her eyes narrowed.

Phei’s survival instincts awakened magnificently. "For an obviously profound and completely justified reason my insufficient intelligence has not yet grasped."

She nodded slowly. "Better."

"I am going to be there."

Phei leaned closer, eyes fixed upon hers so completely that she could read every promise before he finished speaking: "For all of it. Every appointment. Every examination. Every bad morning. Every night you can’t sleep because you’re uncomfortable. Every time you’re frightened. When we hear the heartbeat for the first time, I want to be beside you. When we find out whether it’s a son or daughter, I want your hand in mine."

His voice thickened. "When your stomach starts growing..."

His eyes lowered.

His palm returned there.

A smile appeared, fragile with wonder. "When I can actually see our child growing inside you... Gods." He shook his head because the image alone nearly overwhelmed him. "I’ll be here."

Her tears spilled freely now.

"And when the time comes?"

The question made fear flash openly across Phei’s face.

He could not hide it fast enough.

She saw everything; the imagination of pain, possibility of losing her and the sheer helplessness of knowing there would be a moment where her body had to do something he could not simply do in her place.

Phei looked down. "When the time comes, I’m going to be fucking terrified." Heading Touch or not, Giving birth was that sacred and terrifying.

A soft laugh escaped her through tears. "So will I."

Phei had spent the last few minutes drowning inside his own happiness and fear, but she was the one who had already carried this knowledge before telling him. She had already lain awake wondering how he would react. She had already thought about what would happen to her body, what birth would feel like, whether their child would be safe.

His face crumpled with sudden tenderness.

"Come here."

She expected him to pull her close.

Phei moved away from her and slid off the hanging bed. His bare feet touched the rug first, then he lowered himself until both knees met it. She stared at him in complete confusion, tears still wet upon her cheeks.

"Phei?"

He looked up at her and Phei Ryujin Tiamat had never looked smaller in her eyes the way he was now; kneeling there beneath the lantern glow with his long white hair falling around him, and somehow he had never looked greater either.

There was no arrogance upon his face, none of that shameless Dragon smile he wore when he knew perfectly well he was about to say something outrageous, and none of the careless confidence that usually made it seem as though the world could throw anything at him and he would simply find a way to bite back harder.

His eyes shone openly with tears as he reached upward and took both of her hands into his.

"What are you doing?" she whispered, and whatever composure she had managed to gather immediately began falling apart again.

Phei lifted one of her hands and pressed his lips gently against her fingers. "Thanking you."

Her breath broke; he kissed her knuckles next, slower this time, as though there were something sacred in the simple act of holding the hand of the woman carrying his child:

"Thank you for telling me. Thank you for trusting me enough to have this child with me." His gaze lowered toward her stomach, and another tear slipped free before he could even pretend not to notice it. "And thank you for carrying our baby."