My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

"You're like, the worst thing in existence, you know that?" I said.

Sammy played dumb, stared dumb… she and her dumb face. "What? If you're gonna have a match, you're going to need a prize, right?" 

"I'm not really much of a gold medal reward in case you didn't know." 

"Well, duh, of course I know that," She said, scoffing, and yet still lingering with that dumb mischievous  look, tilting her gaze forward at the two contenders. "But they don't seem to think so." 

Y'know, I feared this, I dreaded this, so how the hell did I not see this? You know what, I can't even blame her for this one, this is all on me. I should have kept my guard up, should have been there at the ready to gag her mouth shut the moment she even spoke up.

But I didn't, so now we got the new Fast and Furious sequel on our hands here, this time starring an Elf from another world up against the girl-next-door type that didn't look one bit like the drifting type… Hollywood had really stepped up their game for this new installment alright.

BGM was a funky upbeat tune that really gets the blood pumping - well, my blood was pumping, alright... shouting in vain trying to tell both drivers that it ain't all about winning now.

"Y'know you're just falling for that ol' classic harem trope where the girls fight over that one guy in an arbitrary competition, right?" I said to Amanda, who was at moment browsing the map selection for the stage with the sharpest turns and bumpiest roads - overkill. "You're better than this, you should be. Sammy's just playing you."

"So?" She turned to me, smiling, resolve yet but bolstered. "There's a reason it's a trope, it's because it works, and if that trope really rings true, I'll get you!" Then with a firm pedal press, the stage was chosen. "After all, rules are rules, right?" 

Appealing to Ash also didn't see much success either. 

"Regardless of the outcome, whether I be afflicted to the throes of bitter defeat, or the sweet fruit of utter triumph, it is to my name and honor to never concede to a challenge given." 

Goddamn she's just steering a wheel, and pulling some levers, and yet she makes it sound like the end of a speech to justify the cause to start World War Three or something. 

"And of course, a victory well-earned means your high praise," She continued, unwavering determination threatening to suffocate the steering wheel in her grip. "I'd like you to praise me more." 

So, after failing on both accounts, I've no other alternative but to step back a fair distance away alongside Sammy again and watch them as they went on to pick their choice of cars. 

And I think this is where Amanda had an unfair sleight of hand, because she could read every vehicle's stats, and know which was best for which scenario, whereas Ash was simply eyeballing everything - and wound up pressing the pedal on the flashiest, coolest looking one there was. 

Well, to be fair, not like I'd pick any different. Fashion over practicality, I always say.

Someone from somewhere also wound up recognizing Amanda in their midst, which kickstarted a snowball effect which swelled to a bigger snowball in a matter of minutes, and before you know it, not only do we have a race on our hands, but now we now also have a rowdy crowd of spectators cheering and whistling to go with it. 

A couple of days back I was fighting tooth and nail for both of them, and now here the both of them were about to be deployed on that same battlefield of love. Oh, how the tables have turned.

"C'mon, you can act all serious and gloomy all you want," said Sammy, nudging at the ribs with her elbow. "But you got two girls vying for your approval - you're flattered, admit it, admit it!" 

"Even if you're right, which you aren't," She was right, but she doesn't need to know that. I continued. "I don't see what your end goal is in meddling with my relationships, what's your motive?" 

"Mmm, well, the way I see it, if they're dating you, then by extension they're also dating me, right?"

"No."

"I'm just… making sure, alright? If I'm gonna have a sister-in-law, I'd rather have one, or two, or even three... that will be willing to go the extra mile. As they do say, a happy sister is a happy brother." 

"So this is all strictly for your benefit, then?" I asked, still dubious. "No sabotaging, we're not gonna have a repeat like the incident with Cathy?" 

"I can't believe you're still hung up over that. Do I really have to spell it out for you?"

"Spell what out?"

"That Catchy-Cathy was very obviously playing you for a fool the whole time," Sammy said, rolling her eyes so drearily. "And like the fool we both know you are, you fell for it. She wasn't interested in a relationship, she was interested in a manservant." 

This was news to me… the profound, mouth-gaping kind of news too. "How do you know?" 

"Irrelevant info, you don't need to know how I know… not like I was keeping an eye on her for you or anything. A thank you would be nice though, I just saved you from teen bankruptcy and a broken heart." 

After that she went and joined the cheers and whistling, with her cries of support echoing a slight bias towards Amanda, leaving me to mull over the ballistic missile of revelations she just dropped all over my airspace. 

Was my teenage self really that daft and dense to not know an act of manipulation when he sees one? Did he really take all those fleeting smiles shared across the hallways at school at face value, did he really fall for that cutesy deceptive voice? 

Or was Sammy just lying again?

Well, to be fair… ain't like my present self was any better. I  mean I was indebted to the mob ever since Chapter 1 so… maybe she was telling the truth after all. 

Which means... her probing and bothering Ash, all of her mindless questions she's been asking all this time, are you telling me - ?

"So you're doing this all for me, then, aren't you?" 

I didn't shout it, more than likely I got drowned out by all the other noises, but I knew Sammy heard me. That quick brief glance she gave me acknowledged it, all but confirmed it, and then she opened her mouth.

"Look sharp, gold medal!" She called out to me. "The race is about to start!"

Showing on both displays, a red light turned to a bright yellow, and in unison, both cabinets began to growl ferociously. 

The light turned green.

Ready, set, go.

Amanda and Ash both sped past the checkered line neck to neck, and not even a moment later, they were screeching to a halt, twisting the wheel, as fast, as hard as they could left, around a long snakey bend. 

The second corner was even sharper, and although no mistakes were made on either part, Ash just had less experience overall, and Amanda abruptly left her competitor in the dust to the cheers of the crowd.

They were three laps in total, and they've only raced halfway through the first stretch of lap one, there was still a chance to turn the tides - Ash kept steadfast, keeping cool and soldiering on.

Soon the air was just a constant ambiance of tire screeches, and the hard shifting of gears accompanied by the howls of a frenetic crowd ooo-ing with every narrow miss by mere inches onto incoming traffic. 

Here and there, they were phones out recording the whole fiasco. I'm also pretty sure someone, somewhere had already got a pay-per-view livestream setup going too. It didn't seem like much, but really you had to be there in order to feel it… the tension and adrenaline was just that palpable, especially as Ash was slowly but surely coming up on Amanda's heels with every turn made.

She was mastering the drift, knowing when exactly to hit the brakes and when to start turning down to the microseconds. It was like with the bumper cars all over again, didn't matter what you make her drive, you give her a steering wheel on it and she'll do miracles with it. 

By lap two, Ash was practically trailing Amanda's every move. Half the crowd at this point had also shifted allegiance to this unknown prodigy at work. It was only a matter of time before second overtook first… and despite having all the speed and the know-how to boot, Amanda was losing the fight against the inevitable… and the struggle and strain showing on her face implied that she knew it too.

Drastic measures needed to be taken, and so she did. 

It was at the halfway mark of the final lap that Ash learned a valuable lesson about trailing too close to your opponent's vehicle. A sudden stop, a quick press of the brake, and devastation was a sure guarantee… as it was just then. 

Amanda brake-checked her.

A split-second flash of red filled Ash's screen, and without a moment for her to even process what had happened, her wheels were squealing, careening, spiraling out of her control - her display a rapidly swiveling blur of the streets and landscape before eventually coming to a stop colliding against the hard concrete wall.

Amanda went on to win first place by a mile and a half, launching off of her seat to the cheers of the gathered masses. Meanwhile Ash slowly got up, walking away in a daze as if she really had gotten into an accident herself. 

"Well now we know who's willing to play dirty, don't we?" Sammy said, nudging me again. "Amanda seriously doesn't play around, wow!" 

"Ash did well too," I pointed out.

"Eh, I suppose." 

Yes, by all accounts, Ash took the loss with grace and dignity that you would come to expect from a Knight of her stature. See, there she was now approaching Amanda over probably to bow and shake hands for a raced well-raced and to - 

"I would like for a rematch." 

What.

"What?" Amanda said, drawing her head back. "A rematch?"

"Rematch," Sammy repeated, her smile stretching from ear to ear. "Okay, I guess Ash doesn't play around either when it comes to you." 

"A competition such as this simply does not do the prize entitled justice," Ash explained solemnly. "If it is for Master, do you not think the effort should justify the reward?"

Amanda blinked blankly. "I'm... not really understanding, but from what I'm gathering - you just want another chance to win the prize, don't you?" 

Ash stayed silent, neither confirming nor denying, failing to realize her silence and the red of her cheeks all but confirmed it already.

"Alright, sure, I'll bite! We'll make it best two out of three, alright?" Amanda said, probably still riding high on her endorphins to think things clearly. "But we'll play a different game each time, to keep things challenging, is that good with you?" 

"I have no qualms on those conditions," Ash said, perked ears wriggling at her newfound second wind. "Very well, I accept." 

Some might wonder why wasn't I there to interject my say into things? After all, wasn't I the one wanting to put a stop to this in the first place? Well, Sammy was wondering the same thing.

"I'm not gonna stop you from stopping them, y'know?" She told me. "I've seen all that I want to, I'm good." 

"I know," I replied back, saying nothing more than that, already walking towards them to congratulate them both on a match well-played.

Ash was smiling, both of them were. We all were too. Here, any stress, any worries you might arrive with, would eventually be forgotten in this neon world of distraction and fun. 

After all that's happened to us - fun might just be what the doctor ordered. For Ash, Amanda… probably Sammy too. 

And probably more than most, I needed it too. Fun, distraction. I needed to forget.

Just for now… Selfish as it may be, immature… but even so… 

I want to forget.

So I'll forget… and I'll have fun.