My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

Playing very well the position of the pampered privileged pretty princess, Amanda played no part in the process of preying for poultry. 

Make no mistake, she did try her very best, but after noticing her pretty blue dress turning a not-as-pretty brown halfway through, and her face gradually flushing a bright glowing red as she valiantly threw herself to the ground each and every time… I realize, perhaps, in some cases, two hands were actually far better than four.

I thought at least she deserved some credit for her troubles, so we decided to split up. I take the chicken back to the farmer, in the meantime, she goes off back to the guild to turn in the quest and get the reward money, or reward goodie, or whatever the hell it is they give in exchange for raking through the dirt and mud.

There was a problem, however. See, If I took the chickens with me, she would have no proof of accomplishment to show the guild… but seeing as she absolutely refuses to even touch a single stray feather sticking out of their wings, we're in a bit of a conundrum.

That was until from out of the blue she pulled out her phone from also out of the blue, of her dress, that is, and snapped a picture of me, a squirming ball of feathery fluff tucked beneath each arm, bright red peck marks on my wrists, and blasphemy on my face.

"There, that's plenty proof enough," She said, then eyeing me, shook her phone in glee. "And also - new background wallpaper, hallelujah."

Look, I'm no medieval expert… but I think if a fair maiden were to took a strange glowing rectangular slab and started waving it around in a place like this, you best bet the Church would be having a barbeque fit for royalty that weekend. 

So much for immersion... 

I found the farm after getting lost once, and asking for directions twice from a local in the area who insisted on being deaf unless I was speaking to him in Ye Olde Anglish.

There I hopped over the fence, said my hellos to the cattle grazing the field, and began searching for the elusive farmer somewhere in the vicinity. Fortunately, the place was like home, so the process didn't really take me long.

A hunched figure bending over crops, his back facing towards me, reaping his riches with a forceful pull and a tug in one fell swoop… strong guy.

"Excuse me, sir," I called out to him, a pair of clucks sounding after. "As you can probably hear, I've come here to return you your chickens."

Like everybody else around here, he wore the outfit, had the right tools stowed in a basket nearby too - a regular old peasant farmer through and through - except, why was it that he didn't seem like it?

"You did, did you?" He grunted.

Why was it that he didn't sound like it?

The makeshift breeze from the humming ventilation blew. That loud hum in the air was the one thing I noticed that kept the fantasy from ever becoming real. But I put up with it, I could still suspend my disbelief no problem for one small thing.

"Thank you," He said stiffly, standing, towering… taking back the hens with big hands. "I appreciate your help."

I can't, however, suspend my disbelief when it involves an actual giant of a man, leering down at me with eyes void of any of the so-called appreciation he claimed to have.

"Hello again, clown," He said, his words in the lowest, dullest baritone, staring unblinking. "Having fun?"

Harmless, Amanda said… Nick's a sweety, don't worry about it. I'm starting to think we might have different taste buds, 'cause all I'm getting now was a strong bitter aftertaste in the back of my throat.

"I wasn't - you're the farmer, I thought - " My empty hands were flailing about on impulse. "Didn't you have an entrance to guard?"

"I go where I'm needed."

"I see," I stepped back, looked around. "So, uh, I'm guessing now you're needed here?"

He stepped forward, and I swear on my life, the ground actually shook. "It seems I am now."

Looking up at him, craning past his thick, bushy front… I found that I could actually see his face, and I could also see that he had one face to show, and that face was 'I must break you'.

"You're alone," Nick said, shifting his gaze left to right, making me all the warier than I already was. "Where's your friends, clown?"

"Somewhere," I simply said.

"I see," He looked around some more. "And where's Amanda?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because I want to know," He set his sights back onto me. "Because it is my job to know."

Yeesh, talk about chilling statements… he just froze my spine ice-cold.

"She's at the guild," I promptly replied, more to break the strain in the air than anything. "Which is where I'm heading too… uh, you're free to follow if you wish if you wanna see for yourself."

"No, thank you," Nick said, settling the chicken down to the ground, his gaze onto me never once straying. "You're the boyfriend. That's your job… isn't it?"

"Well…" I shrugged my shoulders. "I suppose so."

"And do you do it well?"

"Uh," I shrugged again. "I like to think I do."

"So you don't even know if you do it well."

Give me a break, I got pecked enough on my hands today already, please spare my head if you could. I can understand his hostility towards me, and I understood it well… but I can only be so understanding. 

"Okay, I wasn't aware I was being assessed," I said, trying for a smile. "If that's the case, I'll do better then… make sure I'm grade-A boyfriend material."

Unsurprisingly, he didn't smile back. 

"Then you better get to it… don't you think?" He slowly raised his arm, slowly straighten a finger, and pointed towards an open gate out. "Go on then, boyfriend. Do your job."

As for me, I didn't need telling twice… hell, I didn't even need telling once so I was more than thankful for the gracious exit, and that'll be the only thing I'll be thanking him for. 

Once again, even in the distance rapidly expanding, his eyes were on me like wings to a chicken. The only reason he stopped staring was because I whirled myself right around the first corner I found, and unless he could see through layers of bricks and lumber, he was definitely both out of sight and out of mind.

For now, that is…

Seriously, what's his deal? Is this gonna keep happening? Am I gonna have to check my closet door ever so often? Peek under my bed before I sleep? I already have enough death threats looming over my head, I don't need a bear of a man to add onto it.

Should talk to Amanda. Ask her to ask him to kindly leave me be… before anything drastic happens, as they tend to always happen. 

I began making my way back, circling the outskirts all the way around, avoiding the mud and the occasional bandit lurking behind trees… already got robbed of my goodie bag Amanda gave me on the way over, don't need a repeat of that incident.

Landmarks, as a beautiful wise princess once told me, were the only efficient way to navigate through the land. Heeding her words, I took note of a fountain between buildings, a tailor beckoning customers beneath the awning of her shop, and then turning a sharp right, the most notable thing - a swarm of people amassing, gathering, just shortly up ahead.

It was like one of those random encounters you'd come across in a game during your wanders, except in real life my random encounters tended to be a little bit more… iffy.

Whatever, it's a fantasy convention, worse that could happen was if real fantasy people started coming over. 

Oh wait.

Moving a bit closer, the murmurs of the crowd had a certain fervor to it… so much movement, so much excitement. Joining the crowd, it became a whole lot rowdier, much more shouting, much more cheers… there wasn't any use trying to single out a conversation from the many, they all just blended into each other like bees in a beehive.

Except there was one voice that stood out from the others, a voice booming, a voice tumultuous, and a voice shouting out from on high a wooden pedestal off into the distance. 

I began to move again.

"Ladies and Gentleman!"

Even deeper inwards.

"....I bring to you… occasion…" 

Couple of Orcs at the front, wouldn't budge. I circled around.

"...in the ring… contender like no other..."

Noises, I hear. Hooves. 

"....Hailing from lands unknown… kindly volunteered…"

Horses?

"....Facing against the undefeated champion…"

Thunderous cheers erupted at the mention of that champion. It was also the final hint I needed, the final piece.

Amanda mentioned jousting? 

I think I had an idea where Ash might be.

"Leon The Valiant versus Eshwlyn The Elf-Knight!"