My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

"You're not Ria?" I said again, somehow feeling dizzy in dreamland.

"Stop parroting me. A girl can only throw so many lifelines into the conversation before she runs dry and gets bored, say something else, contribute - talk!"

"Okay!" I raised my arms, conceding to the madness unfolding. "Question!"

Not-Ria beamed. "Now that's more like it!"

I cleared up the non-existent lump in my throat. "Do you know me?"

"Yup."

"Know Ash?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"Irene?"

"I love Irene!"

"Then you're you, Ria! The hell are you talking about?"

"But I'm not me!"

"Well, if you're not you, then who are you?!"

"I'm Ria!"

"You are making me a very confused man!"

"I know, right?!"

It's gotta be a joke. This has to be just one convoluted long-winding big middle finger to my mental physique and any moment she'll pull the gotcha from right under me and she'll go laugh about it to death right in front of my face as her master scheme falls rightfully into place.

Because that's exactly what Ria herself would do.

Right?

"I told you to leave it," Ria said, huffing, hands firmly on her hips, "I told you not to come back. You were warned, you were told… and now just lookie at where you are now."

I took a step back, my hands vigorously rubbing away the migraine that was forming in my head. "I'm sorry, but we were talking about your identity crisis just now?"

"Thought we were already over that."

That back and forth was us getting over that?

"It's really a simple concept to get, what aren't you getting?" She asked. "Thought you were cleverer than that."

"Skip the teasing, I always forget the 'making fun of me' portion of our talks," I muttered wearily, barely even able to string my sentences along. "Get to the part where you eventually tell me the things that need to be told, please."

"Oh sure, skim the foreplay like always you do, fine, no wonder I didn't wanna wake up," She said, blowing out a dejected sigh. "I'm not the actual Ria that you know and undoubtedly really, really love with every fiber of your penis. I'm just a tiny little minuscule fraction of that person manifested into what you see before you now."

"Tiny little minuscule fraction of …" I took two blinks to process it. "What - like her subconsciousness or something?"

Ria snorted, shrugging. "Okie Dokie, If that's how you're understanding it - alright, we'll go with that."

"So metaphor-Ria, then…"

"Not even a metaphor," She said, shaking her head. "I am Ria, just… you know - at surface level! I'm her personality, just not her feelings. Her memories, just not the sentiments that come with it, uhh… what else, what else?"

"Okay, think I get it," I said, finally getting a semblance of rational sense. "Ria-Zero… best I could think of."

"Aha! You see, you are clever!" She said, her flowing locks blazing proud, impressed embers. "Yes, you got Ria-Classic, and I am just Ria-Zero. Same taste, same flavor - just without the sugar that makes me, me!"

That's one nonsensical thing sorted out. Now to deal with the thousand other things that were still devoid of logic and reason, starting with…

"Where is Ria-Classic, then? Why did I get you instead?"

"Ouchie," She said flatly, turning away from me with a pout. "Zero's good every once in a while too, you know? Healthier alternative, too..."

"Ria…"

"A gentleman would have stepped in by now to reassure the aching damsel's self-value," She turned dull dispirited eyes towards me. "You sir, are definitely no gentlemen."

"Absolutely despicable, yes, will castrate myself later when I wake up, don't worry. Now, will the kind-hearted damsel kindly spare a kindness to a cruel man's ignorance and answer the question?"

She turned right around again, stifling a giggle. "That she will, indeed. Okay - where's Real-Ria, you asked? The same place you last left her, hopping and skipping away in her little paradise dreamland."

"Awesome," I threw my arms up. "Why aren't I there, then? Why did I end up being banished to the shadow realm instead?"

"That you can blame on our Sweet Lady of Death herself."

I gaped at her. "Enstar put me here?"

It's like I'm on a rollercoaster that keeps accelerating downhill, and every once in a while, a goddamn nuke drops on me that I'm expected to get out unscathed. 

Don't know how many more nukes I can take.

"You wandered into my dream, front door wide open," Ria explained, daintily pacing left to right. "Security's tightened since you left. See, now Enstar padlocked that door, and bolted it shut. You won't be getting in any more. If you try - then this is where you end up going."

I looked beyond us, around to the expansive white that had no perceivable end to it. "Where is this?"

"This," She stretched her arms out. "Is Enstar's Call. Where those beguiled and/or blighted come to reside forevermore." 

Pause for dramatic effect, then with a smile foreboding, continued her exposition so grim.

"If you're saving me, means your Elf girlfriend's already wide awake, right? I'm sure she's told you what it was like snoring away under the influence of the Enstar. Voices? Loved ones? All will be fine, stay here forever, no one can hurt you here? A feeling of happiness, contentment, peace? Any of these ringing a bell to you?"

All of them were ringing blaring bells like alarm clocks. Word for word, abbreviated sure, but this is exactly what Ash recounted to me when she woke up from her sleep. 

Her family was with her, Lenora was with her. Together, forever, a time blissful as can be.

I nodded my head.

"Good, that saves me a novel's worth of exposition," Ria said, relief out with her breath. "In short, I'm in the same boat as her now. My empty white void has formed into my version of heaven on Earth thanks to the Enstar's influence. A lush forest region where I can call home, and a home where I can spend eternity with all my adorable children."

For once, there was a tone of tenderness and longing in her words, dissipating at once as she spoke next.

"So this white space here is your space… except you're not beguiled nor blighted… so you're not under her influence… hmm, I guess you kinda just exist here… until you wake up, that is."

"A checkpoint spot, great," I said. "It'll be a useful place to sit and come up with a game plan for getting you out of here."

Ria gave a look, the squinty-eyed, not-too-sure type of look. "I'll have you know now. Waking me up won't be as easy as splashing cold water on my face. On top of my reluctance to leave - you also got Sweet Lady Death holding me tight in her hands."

"Why you in particular?" I asked.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm a phoenix, essentially the embodiment of true immortality. I exist outside the cycle of death, a cycle that not even the Divines can elude. Needless to say, Death doesn't like it when a life's out of reach from even her all-encompassing clutches.

"With Enstar's call… I mean, I ain't exactly dead… but it's as close as she'll ever get to claiming me for her own finally," She turned to me again, lips stretching to a sickly sweet grin. "So, if you're still dead set on waking sleeping beauty me, then good luck on cheating death herself."

Well, no one ever said this was going to be easy. Thankfully, I got a solid track record for overcoming the literal impossible, and I don't really intend on breaking that streak here.

"One thing at a time first," I said, already formulating and speculating in my thoughts. "So if I wanna get to you, talk to the real, sleeping you… I gotta get back to your dreamland."

"Enstar's locked the front door to it, remember."

"Alright, so all I gotta do is steal that metaphoric key," I turned to her, crossing all my fingers and toes. "Please tell me you can help with that." 

"All I can offer are my words, my dear savior in slumber," She said, insincerely sincere somehow. "You're connected to me in sleep, we're linked, we're one… you keep picking at my subconscious, you're bound to loosen that lock that separates my mind and yours."

"English?"

"Search me inside out," Ria proclaimed. "There is millennia's worth of memories for you to dive into. See for yourself - you always did wanted to know what made me, me, right?"

"And you always insisted I stay out of it."

"Well, you're literally inside of me right now, aren't you?" She said, raising a brow. "Are you really going to let my non-consenting sleeping self stop you?"

"No." I didn't even hesitate with my reply. "Not this time."

"Attaboy," A round of applause, and bright sparks from her fingers. "Now, you just rifle through my memories… loosen that lock there, in time… eventually, you'll wake up again seeing bright blue skies."

Easier said than done, I just realized… 

"How am I supposed to…?" I looked around the place. "I don't suppose there's a file cabinet somewhere with all your memories inside it?"

Ria was beaming proud before - but it seems the obvious has eluded me once again, because now, she was rolling her eyes at me, and tutting her lips. 

"You're a clever man, you wouldn't have gotten this far if you weren't," spoke the haughtiness in her tone. "And a clever man has clever tricks, doesn't he?"

I blinked. "Magic?"

"Bingo."

"Just magic up your memories?"

"Seems like the logical conclusion to me."

"But how am I supposed to - ?"

"How should I know?" She exclaimed, raising her hands up in feigned surrender. "I'm just a fraction of a fraction, what do I know about conjuring memories? This is all on you now. You think there's a damsel that needs saving, so go on then, Hero! Save your damsel." 

This was nice. Her laughter, her wit, her boldness, it was like a gulp of fresh air for the first time in a long time. Once you get a taste, even if you swear it was far too much… you'll always be wanting for more again. 

That was her character in a nutshell. Before everything happened the way they happened, before the complications got in the way. 

The smile on her face encouraged, the glimmer in her gaze supported. Unlike back then, when I first saw her again. She didn't smile at me, she didn't even want to look back at me if she could help it.

Yeah, Ria wasn't as encouraging back then, wasn't as supportive. But if that's her, true feelings and all… then…

"Why aren't you like back then?" I asked. "If you're a tiny fraction of the whole, you should be a tiny fraction opposing this whole plan. You'd be telling me to leave, you'd be shoving me out the door… why aren't you?"

Silence was the answer she left the question with for a second, for a moment… then she started to pace again, a hint of a smile twitching the corner of her lips.

"Tiny fraction of the whole, yes…" She said, staring at her open palms. "Teeny tiny barely significant portion. Why aren't I shooing you with a broom? I'm not too sure. Classic-Ria would know, the real me would give you that definite answer. Me, all I can do is guess."

I watched her silently contemplate, before I spoke up again, "Then guess."

"My guess, then," Ria chuckled softly, closing her palms into fists. "Perhaps, maybe… there's also a teeny tiny insignificant fraction of the real me that thinks different from the rest."

"Oh?" I walked a step closer. "And what did that teeny tiny fraction think?"

"That you might actually be right all along," The tiny fraction replied, turning towards me with that same encouraging smile. "That maybe there is a damsel out there that needs saving, after all."