Chapter 26: Goodnight, Anyway

Chapter 26: Chapter 26: Goodnight, Anyway

The drive home felt longer than the one there, even though I took the same roads.

By the time I got to my building, I’d parked, killed the engine, and sat there for another full minute before I made myself go up.

Chloe was the first thing I saw when I walked in. She was on the couch with her legs pulled up under her, the TV running low on some show neither of us had ever watched. Her phone was in her hand, but the screen had gone dark a while ago and she hadn’t touched it.

She’d been waiting for me.

I closed the door behind me and set my keys down. She didn’t look over right away. When she finally did, there wasn’t a single joke on her face. No teasing, no pout, nothing she usually reached for first.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey."

I crossed the room and sat on the other end of the couch, close enough that it wasn’t a wall between us, far enough that it wasn’t a conversation yet.

On the screen, someone laughed at something. It sounded very far away.

Chloe turned her phone over in her hand once, then set it down on the cushion.

"So," she said quietly.

I picked the couch cushion between us as my point of focus. It was easier than looking at her.

I finally looked up. Chloe wasn’t glaring or smirking. She was just watching me, patient in a way she almost never was.

"I’m not mad," she said. "In case that’s what you’re sitting there thinking."

I didn’t say anything.

"I know you, Nathan." She said it plainly, the way you’d say something you’d known for years. "You don’t do things without a reason. So I figure there’s one. I just... want to hear it."

She pulled her knees a little closer, waiting.

"So what’s going on with you and her?"

I exhaled and looked at the ceiling for a second, working out how to even start. Then I remembered that Nicole hadn’t lied to my sister when she easily could have. It would be wrong for me to do it now.

"We met in the rain," I said. "Before I knew who she was. She was stuck outside a convenience store, so I offered her a ride. We talked the whole way to campus. I dropped her off and didn’t think about it again."

Chloe didn’t interrupt.

"The next morning, she walked into my Thermodynamics class." I let out a short, humorless laugh. "My new professor."

I stopped there. Chloe waited.

"She told me she liked me. Pretty much from the start. I thought she was joking, or just having fun with me. She’s good at making things sound like a joke." I turned the couch cushion over in my hands. "But after a while I realized she wasn’t. That she actually..."

"Loves you," Chloe finished quietly.

I exhaled. "Yeah."

The TV kept murmuring in the background. Chloe stayed quiet for a moment before she spoke again.

"You like her too, don’t you?"

I didn’t answer right away. Then I nodded.

She nodded back slowly, like that settled something. "I can see why. She’s very likable."

"She is."

Neither of us said anything for a moment. The TV murmured on, and Chloe pulled a pillow into her lap, thinking.

"I’m not going to give you advice on how to handle it," she said finally. "You’re the older one. You’re smart. And I trust you know what you’re doing."

I gave her a look.

"What?"

"Since when are you this mature?"

She lifted her chin, smug. "You’re my big brother, and you’re the smartest person I know. Some of it was bound to rub off."

I shook my head, but I was smiling.

For a moment, neither of us said anything. We just sat there, the TV murmuring in the background.

Then she looked over at me.

"Are you going to tell her how you feel?"

I let out a slow breath and leaned my head back against the couch.

"She already knows," I said. "Knowing Nicole, she’s known for a while that I like her too. She also knows why I haven’t said it."

"The professor thing."

"The professor thing."

Chloe nodded slowly, chewing on that. Then, almost like an afterthought, she asked, "How old is she, anyway?"

"Twenty-eight."

Her mouth fell open a little. "Twenty-eight? She looks younger than you. No offense."

"None taken."

Another quiet moment passed between us. Chloe pulled her knees up again, her eyes on the muted glow of the TV.

"You should call her," she said. "She didn’t look great when she left."

"Yeah."

She got up from the couch, stretching her arms over her head with a small yawn. "Don’t worry. I’m rooting for you and my future sister-in-law."

I laughed despite myself.

She smirked, clearly pleased with herself, and started toward the hall. "Goodnight, big bro."

"Goodnight, CeCe."

Her door clicked shut a moment later, and the apartment went quiet again.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket. 12:06 AM.

Nicole’s chat sat right at the top. Her last message was from that afternoon, something about the cooler she’d forgotten in her office. Nothing since.

She usually texted goodnight late, after midnight, sometimes closer to two. Tonight she’d said it in person at a quarter past ten and walked through her gate before I could answer. I hadn’t noticed how strange that was until I was looking at the empty space under her name.

I opened the chat and typed: Are you okay?

I deleted it. Of course she wasn’t okay. She’d sat in my car and told me she was extremely patient while her fingers twisted in her lap.

I typed: Call you?

Deleted that too. She’d said I didn’t have to give an answer yet. If I called her now with nothing to say, all I’d be doing was listening to her be brave on the other end.

I stared at the screen for a while before typing one more thing: Goodnight. Sleep well.

I looked at it for a few seconds, then deleted it too.

I knew her. She’d reply even if she didn’t feel like talking, just so I wouldn’t worry about her. She’d tell me goodnight, probably add a smiley face, and I’d know exactly what she was doing.

I didn’t want her doing that for my sake.

I stared at the screen, thumb hovering over her name.

Then I locked the phone and set it face-down on the cushion. Whatever I said to her, I wanted to say it with her in front of me.

I stayed there a little longer anyway, watching the TV Chloe had left on, waiting for a text I already knew wasn’t coming.