My Pick Up Artist System

"Where you going, babe?"

"What's going on?"

"Huh?"

The 20 men in VIP didn't understand what the problem was because the fart bomb only affected women, but the girls were too sick by the smell to open their mouths and explain. They only hurried to leave, making the guys look at each other in confusion. 

As the women shuffled out, the rich men went with their tried and tested method--giving the bouncers more cash to retrieve them. Yet, the ladies wouldn't budge now, only glancing at the VIP with revulsion. With no progress towards recovery, soon, the 20 guys came up with various theories on what was happening.

One group thought it was the song the DJ played, Barbie Girl by Aqua. They glared at the DJ booth. 'Bastard! You triggered all our women with your sexist song!'

Another part of the men believed it was because they didn't have enough alcohol. So they yelled at a redhead waitress to get more bottles.

A few minutes later, she came back with a few of the most expensive bottles of champagne, in ice buckets, with sparklers coming out the top. At the same time, trying to regain the attention of the women below, the men stood at the rails of Outhouse, overlooking the dancefloor while jumping around and celebrating.

However, they failed to notice the strangeness of the waitress as she brought the alcohol up. With every step she took, her face turned greener, and soon, she projectile vomited on one of them! 

...

Their celebration didn't have the same energy after that...

It wasn't the end though, because then, she threw up in the ice bucket!

...

The men were devastated. 'Our champagne...'

The people below who saw this shuddered!

Sick to her stomach, the waitress soon ran back out, as she shouted at security. "Hurry and tell the owner! All those guys sh*t their pants!

…

Hearing that, the male security now also looked at the men in VIP with disgust. The rich guys tried to dance it off but at this point, they were like caged monkeys throwing their poo around as all the onlookers gazed at them.

Several minutes later, the male owner came out and visited the VIP, but didn't find a problem. So, he figured the men were being too rude or grabby, leading to the waitress hating them and the girls leaving. They were wealthy clients though. So he apologized and offered more free bottles of champagne that he brought out himself.

The guys in VIP didn't comprehend what was happening. Despite that, they assumed the ladies would return in the end. After all, they'd never been to a party where everything didn't go their way, so why would this be any different? 

Sure, they could leave Outhouse and go to the bar, but then they'd have to be near the plebs, which most of them considered demeaning. Also, they'd already spent so much money on these tables. With all those bottles left unopened, they thought leaving VIP would be a massive waste. After all, leaving unopened alcohol in a nightclub was like not picking up good loot.

The most important reason they weren't too worried about the girls not coming back though, was this was VIP—where every woman wanted to be. What fool didn't know that? 

However, by this point, rumors of what was occurring in Outhouse spread to most of the staff and patrons, with everyone except the isolated rich guys themselves hearing them.

From that day forward, among the nightlife scene of New York City, those 20 men became famous, known as—The Loaded Diaper Division.

…

Failing to realize what was going on, the rich guys waited in VIP for hours for the women to return, but they never did. The girls weren't interested in being with Very Important People, if they had self-defecating mindsets...

As a result, the men stood at the railing overlooking the dancefloor the entire night. They danced alone holding a bottle in each hand, with plastered smiles on their faces. Yet, those smiles couldn't hide their genuine feelings forever, as those grins were soon joined by dead eyes…

As people continued looking at them with disgust, the men began to feel bad, so they kept drinking to push it off, becoming drunker and drunker, sadder and sadder…and the worst part was—they didn't know why.

They were drowning in champagne, but the cham was silent…

***

Meanwhile, when the chaos first began in VIP, as the girls shuffled out onto the dancefloor, Ben had returned to his buds near the bar, where they all watched the craziness unfold.

He grinned when he saw the waitress paint one of the guys with her bowels…

Noticing the turmoil and fear on all their faces, it was as if he was feeding off it, like some kind of clown creature from the void. Gazing at the redhead waitress as she left, he thanked her for her sacrifice. 'Your hair is winter fire. January embers. My fart burns there, too…'

As for the rest of the Fracking Crew, they showed varied expressions of confusion. When they saw Ben's smirk though, they remembered he said he would fix the situation, which caused them to glance back and forth between him and the commotion in Outhouse, as their eyes broadened. 'It couldn't be…'

Antonio was the first to ask the question on all their minds. "Did you do that?"

Ben nodded with a grin.

"How?" Chuck furrowed his brows. All they saw was Ben talk to a bouncer, followed by a waitress, and then disappear into an area near VIP. What could he have done to get all the girls out from there though?

"Benjamin, what did you do?" Even Beluga was eager to know. This is a move he didn't have in his playbook.

Laughing, Ben told them the truth. "I released a big fart there."

Antonio narrowed his eyes. "Cuz, I've known you a long time. I don't ever remember your farts being so deadly, neither in damage nor scope…"

Ben put a hand on his shoulder. "Against you, I always held back the real farts...only giving you the occasional blips…the babies at the edges…because you're family and I love you…"

"Get off me!" Antonio shrugged the hand off. He didn't believe Ben was some hidden fartuoso or butthole benefactor.

...

Beluga and Chuck also exchanged glances of doubt, before shaking their heads. They didn't understand the exact situation, but it didn't matter. If Ben didn't want to tell them, they wouldn't push him to. If he was telling the truth, then that was an even bigger problem because he should see a doctor right away.

...

In either case though, it wasn't a big deal to them, because there were more important things to worry about now! The girls, were available again!

"Cuz, I don't know what you did, but we can't let this chance slide." Antonio stared at the girls with starving eyes, as did the rest of the gang.

It was time, for the Fracking Crew to resume drilling!