My Pick Up Artist System

Sitting on the ground in the park, Ben had achieved success using Weak Grass Manipulation! The skill description wasn't lying! It worked! He really gained telekinesis over plants, being able to move grass with his mind! So why was he frowning? 

Because it f*cking only moved a millimeter!

…

The change was so small, you would need a magnifying glass to notice, and it only worked when there was zero wind. It wasn't even enough to tickle someone! 

Yet, it wasn't like he could make it grow either. In fact, he couldn't even pull the grass out, having tried and learned that it made the skill stop working. So Ben was now a superhero, but one who could only move a single blade of grass a f*cking millimeter!

"Die!" He karate chopped the grass!

…

Like that, a once hopeful top Pokemon met its end...

It was a short life, and it committed no wrong except to exist...having been born as the wrong leaf of grass that met the wrong human ass.

…

However, Ben was only following the tradition of slaughter. In reality, it happened to all the useless Pokemon. After all, what did people eat? There were no pacifist vegans in a world where even salads were alive…

Although no one talked about it in the open, and there was no documentary yet…this was the dark side of the Pokemon training industry.

It was a world for kids where everything people murdered and ate was intelligent.

***

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Ben, when he delivered a karate chop, sending the leaf of grass to isekai into its own story in a distant Tang Sect…someone was passing on the nearby pathway, an acquaintance who had seen all of it...

Having stopped her steps once she observed the karate chop…Professor Tremblay sighed. 'I need to work harder to properly educate these students…'

After debating whether to call the mental hospital…she decided not to, since she didn't understand Ben and vegans were doing unusual things these days…

Instead, she left to return to her office, having reignited her fire for teaching. She'd found a new desire to spread knowledge, and an even stronger urge to rid the world of ignorance.

***

After lying in the grass with his head buried a while, Ben found the strength to get up and keep moving forward. 'I refuse to believe the system would give me a trash skill that won't become divine tier. It's simply not done!' 

His face regained confidence. 'This is only my misunderstanding for sure. I have full faith that one day, this weak grass skill will reveal itself to be the grass emperor skill...'

Ben knew there was precedent for such a thing.

63rd stratagem of web novels: if something receives a noteworthy introduction, the more useless it appears, the more useful it will turn out to be.

Like most authors of web novels and anime, Ben held firm faith in the cliches…

As for the metallic arm, he couldn't even think about it, burying his greatest wish deep down. He dare not speak of it again, for fear of falling into a deep and desolate unfappiness…

Instead, Ben walked back to his dorm room, to deal with his 33000 points, and to also prepare for his big plans tonight.

Thinking about them, his mood improved a little. Earlier, Beluga texted him and Ben mentioned he received a promotion, at which point they made plans to celebrate at night by going out with the whole gang. Missing his buddies, Ben looked forward to it, but he looked forward to meeting beauties even more.

He couldn't help it though, because several weeks had passed since he went out on the town. After all, Ben understood that humans weren't too different from animals; So like how being cooped up in a familiar place would make a dog restless if it didn't go on walks, Ben also felt the urge to take a stroll down the nightlife streets; experiencing, exploring, and spraying on everything…

***

Later that evening, Ben was in his room getting ready to go out to meet the Fracking Crew.

In the end, he chose to save the 33000 points, taking a different approach than usual. He did it for two reasons. First, his heart couldn't handle any more disappointment…

If he got another useless loot drop, Ben believed it might lead to a new supervillain origin story…

Though, it wasn't because his spirit was brittle, but because most supervillain origin stories were…

Second, Ben had a hunch that if he saved 50000 points, there might be a new item available. Since he wasn't in urgent need of anything, he decided that for now, it was worthwhile attempting to reach that goal.

So, after putting that aside and doing some chores, he began getting ready for the nighttime escapades. In fact, at the moment, he was doing the most important step in those preparations for going out with the boys—and that didn't refer to Antonio and Beluga, but to his balls…which he was shaving.

...

In the bathroom with an electric razor, Ben was keeping up with the Kardashians…

It was something he started in recent weeks after Beluga told him women preferred it by far, and up to this point, Ben received no complaints. There was one issue of course: he was like a member of the Phantom Troupe who ran into Kurapika, nervous due to having a blade so close to piercing his hearts…

It was also at that moment he regretted not being able to protect his balls with Nen...because he almost nicked them!

After that, Ben experienced a constant spider-sense of danger…

So, with light sweat on his forehead, he tried to give it his all, and in fact, manscaping was the only time in his life he ever gave anything 110%…

Yet, it was due to that intensity, that he gained super focus, time slowed down, he saw the wings on a fly, etc.

…

He also realized this exact situation was the inspiration for all the writers that came up with slow-motion abilities, such as in The Matrix, Wanted, and even for Flash/Quicksilver…

In addition, Ben became certain this is what real-life super soldiers trained…

At least in Brazzers Brigade.

...

Thankfully, a while later, through the grace of Gillette…Ben finished without any accidents.

So after getting dressed, he went out to where they were all meeting, and it wasn't just any place. Beluga was adamant they visit a special destination—the most prestigious nightclub in the city--Latrine!

------

*Author's note: 99% of authors skip the little moments in the bathroom, ignoring that their characters use them every few hours. In my mind though, those can be the most entertaining moments sometimes…

On a more serious note, I just published a free prologue in volume 0 as the second chapter of the day. It adds a lot of context to the system and worldbuilding aspects of the novel, and I'm very happy with how it came out. I'm announcing this here because it won't show up as the latest chap on the novel page. You have to go to volume 0 and read it, which I suggest you do because I guarantee you'll enjoy it. If you haven't read it, do so. Trust me, you won't regret it.