My Pick Up Artist System

Feeling like the king of the world, Ben was sitting in the second floor of Chipotle…tasting the guac on his burrito bowl, smiling because he could afford those lavish toppings now... 

It was the epitome of opulence...

Using his mobile phone, he was also adding an e-signature to the contract for his new job. Soon, when he completed it and emailed it back to Hearth, he received a system notification.

[Congratulations, you've been recognized by upper management in Hearth Tower!]

[Congratulations, you've accepted a higher position in Hearth Tower!]

[Tower Ranking system unlocked]

[You've become a ranked climber in Hearth Tower!]

[Current Hearth Tower Ranking: 682]

[Methods to improve your ranking: climb floors by achieving higher positions, complete special challenges, or gain the recognition of upper management]

[Get into the top rankings to win titles and special rewards]

[Distributing reward for tower climbing: PUA Points + 2000 (1000(base per floor bonus) x 1(multiplier for destination floor in floors 0-19) x 2(number of floors climbed 9->11)]

Seeing these shocking notifications, Ben went wide-eyed!

*Chew* *Chew*

Of course, it wouldn't stop him from eating his burrito bowl…

Seeing his ranking of 682, he understood that working on higher floors wasn't the only factor. Many more people worked above him than 681, but they weren't all in positions to move upwards. So there must've been another qualification such as catching the attention of...certain individuals.

'Upper management...' Ben wondered about the person who noticed him, and how high up they were, although regardless of the answer, the difference in their two statuses was like Heaven and Perth, Australia...

In a way, the people at the top of the tower were like gods, able to see everyone down below and control their destinies. Compared to them, even with his promotion, Ben's status wasn't worth mentioning. The only thing he did know about upper management was many of them were part of the Hearth family, since the conglomerate itself was privately-owned since its creation. It was a top-class family even on an international scale, and one he lacked the standing to know anything about.

After the new ranking information, Ben moved on to check some notifications he received while conversing with Paul.

[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Rick Roll Out the Way(rare) - Survive a tower boss' fatal attack]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 1000]

Ben started bobbing his head as he played the song in his head. The idea of customizing the lyrics was tempting, but he soon discovered there was nothing to add—because they were already perfect…

[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Handled the Honcho(repeatable, rare) - Defeat a tower boss]

[Completion evaluation: uncommon]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 1500 (1000(rare) x 1(multiplier for boss of floors 0-19) x 1.5(completion evaluation multiplier for uncommon)]

Knowing the system, Ben's first instinct was to dispute the term "handling," but he forgot about it when he started thinking about the multipliers he saw for the first time.

After asking the system, she explained what they signified. The completion evaluation considered Ben's amount of participation in the felling of the boss, as well as how much damage he delivered. 'I suppose uncommon makes sense. I didn't do much to win against Paul since it was a delayed bonus from the earlier challenge. Although, I suppose that only gave me a possibility of getting attention from upstairs, and if I had to guess, I'd say my writing caught their attention.'

He also knew the damage level to Paul was minimal. His daughter and wife lost respect for him, but Ben didn't find that meaningful, not before filling those gaps in their hearts with his schvontz…

Besides that, there wasn't any other damage. If Paul ended up getting demoted, losing his job, or isekai'd...Ben assumed that would've led to a much higher evaluation. 'This must be why protagonists in Chinese novels are so ruthless. They're probably also getting some sort of bonus points…'

[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: King Konging Tits and Towers (fine) - Become a ranked tower climber]

[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 500]

Ben squinted. 'Now that I think about it, King Kong did try to get some snow bunnies…'

Having reached the end of the achievements, Ben nodded with satisfaction, because he'd finished his burrito bowl…

The rewards weren't bad either though. Although nothing incredible, they combined for a total of 5000 points which was enough for Ben to buy something nice. A little treat for himself... These benefits were also a good start for someone just entering the tower, and if he continued climbing up, he expected they'd only improve.

The other good result for the day was Paul gave him the afternoon off. Since he finished eating, and didn't have to return to Hearth, although there were still more notifications to read, Ben decided to continue the review at home. Anyway, he needed a private place to buy a high level mystery box with his new points.

***

A subway ride later, Ben sat in his desk chair as he reviewed his stats.

[Looks: 6 - Looks like a bouncer in a LEGO movie]

…

"Those films weren't too bad for a minute…and at least I'd be a star." He then frowned, because he realized that to get into the LEGO film industry, he'd have to go through the interview process with the LEGO Harvey Weinstein.

…

[Charisma: 8 - Has the zazzle and the pizazz]

Shaking his head, Ben hesitated to accept this "compliment."

[Social Status: (+1)5(4+1) - Corporate slave]

"So I was one the whole time…" He felt like Bruce Willis at the end of The Sixth Sense…

Still, it was satisfying to see this stat increase by 1 even if it remained low. With the high class leather belt that showed its boost in the right parentheses, his social status rose to 5, which wasn't bad for an 18 year old. He also understood by now that this was a tough stat to raise and he'd started with a measly 2 after all.

[Seduction skills: 6 - From casanovice to casanimrod]

'...It's a 6. Shouldn't it be casanotbad?' 

Although this stat was still mediocre, Ben was the proudest of his progress here, because not only did he start at 0, but he reached this level by himself, without the help of a multiplier. "All natty gains baby…"

[Knowledge: 6 - Top student, on the short bus]

"...Number one is still number one." Understanding the math was why he was the top student…

[Manliness: 6 - In the land of the nutless, the one-balled man is king…and you would be his eunuch]

Ben frowned as he considered the idiom…then he found the positive side. 'It's enough to show my ability that I could become the king's eunuch among so many candidates…'

Normal eunuchs got to their positions through affirmative action…

[Communication: (+1)7(6+1) - Speaks harshly and carries a big stick]

Ben nodded. He believed President Theodore Roosevelt would also update his ideology if he heard what the punks were saying in League of Legends voice chat…

Gratified with this stat's natural increase to 6, Ben also understood the reason. Like a sword apprentice watching an immortal swordsman in action, he opened his eyes to a new peak of shamelessness as he watched Paul wield his tongue intent...

It wasn't only that though. Ben worked hard on his communication these last few weeks, by cursing at people... 'Well, I guess it also helped that I chatted a lot with girls and wrote that motivational content for Male's Health.' He soon shook his head though. 'No, I'm sure it was the cursing…'

At the moment, he equipped the Mini-Kubing Necklace for a +1 boost when speaking with women, but with the Typewriter of Truth, this stat would shoot up to an 8, although the necklace would no longer work. Ben might've still been second-rate at everything else, but he was now a genuine talent when it came to communication, or at least talking sh*t...

[Personal talent: 3 - Paris Hilton]

He narrowed his eyes. "Well, she wasn't bad in that por—" Then, he sighed… "No, she was terrible in that too..."

After thinking hard, he found a saving grace. "Her dad is rich!" If it was enough for the rest of the world, it was enough for Ben…

Looking over his statuses, he realized there was still a long way to go to become an Elite Alpha like his death challenge required, but it satisfied him to be making steady progress.

[PUA Points: 9300]

[Equipped Title: Poison Dragon]

[Unequipped Titles: C*ckpuncher ]

[Current Hearth Tower Ranking: 637]

Then, as Ben prepared to move on, out of nowhere, he got another system notification—that his social status increased again! "Huh?" He looked back up at the stat.

[Social Status: (+2)6(5+1) - Well-known corporate slave]

"Why did it add well-known?" Confused, Ben asked the system, and to his surprise, she responded that it was because his fame increased!

"Fame?" Ben knew that fame was one element of social status, but why would his fame increase now? After thinking about it a while, he realized the obvious answer, and hurried to his computer, typing in a web address, and searching his name once it loaded. That website, of course—was Pornhub!

…

'Damn. Which one of those girls took a secret video of my godly sex skills?'

However, with mixed emotions, of relief and below that--dicksappointment…Ben couldn't find any video with his name. Then, he slapped his own forehead, as he realized he was being idiotic. Of course it wasn't that. He was certain he was becoming famous due to a website, but the answer was obvious—it was Xvideos!

…

'The hub is only for the generic professional stuff. Of course, people would consider anything with me as high-class amateur action…the real titty gritty…'

Yet, even after searching there, and then every other site until he was considering checking the dark web...Ben still couldn't find anything about himself. Sitting in his chair a while and thinking, he came up with one final possibility. "It couldn't be…" Shaking his head, he typed in the webpage, certain it would be a waste of time—it was Male's Health. He knew they posted his feature last night but between school and rushing to work this morning, he hadn't checked it yet.

Still, it was supposed to be a minor feature so Ben didn't believe it could have such a big effect. In addition, he was well aware that within his family, he wasn't the one born to become famous; It was his little brother...

However, when the webpage loaded, Ben's jaw dropped…

He was on the front page!

Staring at it a while in disbelief, he clicked on the large photo of himself and scrolled down. Although he couldn't see the viewer statistics, what he could see made his eyes pop out! A massive number of comments! His feature was blowing up!

After a long pause...Ben removed his hand from the mouse, and glanced downwards. "Don't worry little bro, I'll use this to get you into Hollywood. I'll be the Johnny Drama to your Vincent Chase."