[Volume 2] Chapter 10: Brainstorming a Battle Plan

(Please note that Battle Through the Heavens is an old web novel from 2011. Any teasing of it in this book is not a serious accusation that it has real problems—please take it in that spirit.)

“Who still remembers the plot of Battle Through the Heavens?” Finn asked.

Bearmont and Chen-Awelon shook their heads at the same time.

“Then let’s read it again.”

Bearmont and Chen-Awelon opened their usual pirate novel websites and started reading Battle Through the Heavens.

Jyan-Tyenhaw, Sainquartz, and Moonbell downloaded an electronic copy from the Myriad Realms Network and began flipping through it as well.

A screen floated in front of Moonbell. The pages flew past at lightning speed, and in the blink of an eye, she had finished a quarter of the novel.

“My eyes! I can’t stand looking at this!” Moonbell covered her eyes with her fair little hands and shut off the screen.

She floated backward two steps and let out a long breath. “Oh, gods. Reading this kind of low-IQ novel is a form of mental torture!”

“What do you mean, you can’t stand looking at it?” Chen-Awelon, who was hanging from the ceiling, objected. “This is the legendary life of Xiao Yan, that shameless poser! There’s plenty we can learn from him!”

“No way. Reading this kind of novel will make you stupid!” Moonbell pouted.

“You’re way too delicate. If reading a novel lowers your IQ, are you saying there are novels in this world that can increase it?”

“Of course there are. Teacher Zhuge told me that in the Endless Worlds, there’s an author called FireMadLaugh. Reading his novels can increase your IQ.” Moonbell snorted coldly, clearly looking down on Chen-Awelon for knowing so little.

“There are so many words! I’ll be reading this until the cows come home!” Sainquartz flipped through the pages one by one, looking miserable as well.

Jyan-Tyenhaw reclined in a rosewood rocking chair. A beautiful fox demon massaged his shoulders while a pale female ghost stood by his ear and read Battle Through the Heavens in a low, eerie voice.

Jyan-Tyenhaw looked completely at ease, clearly enjoying himself.

Moonbell suspended a cauldron in midair and set an alcohol blowtorch beneath it. Then she tossed in an assortment of brightly colored alchemical ingredients.

Finally, she threw in a chip containing the electronic version of Battle Through the Heavens. With a display of high-level alchemy, she began refining an information elixir on the spot.

Five seconds later, the alchemical potion was ready. The transparent test tube contained the entire story of Battle Through the Heavens. As long as someone drank it, the complete contents of the novel would appear in their mind.

Moonbell extended one delicate finger and lightly tapped the test tube.

With a flash, one test tube became ten, all neatly arranged in the air. Anyone interested in the mission could come and take one.

Everyone drank an information elixir, skipping the painful ordeal of reading through Battle Through the Heavens from start to finish. They immediately began discussing their battle plan.

Chen-Awelon wriggled about while hanging from the ceiling and reiterated his point:

“We have to create an event that’s unexpected, yet still makes sense—something that completely derails the original plot and disrupts the Imaginary World’s protection of the Child of Fortune, Xiao Yan!

“Only then can I use the knowledge from the Flex God’s Legacy to analyze the patterns governing a Child of Fortune. Everyone, let’s start brainstorming!”

“What if we threw a nuke right into Xiao Yan’s face?” Finn suggested.

“No! That’s way too simple and crude!” Chen-Awelon’s face went dark.

“What if we killed Xiao Yan’s entire family and wiped out the Xiao Clan?” Bearmont proposed.

“Hmm... That’s a bit much, but it would certainly be one way to derail the original plot,” Chen-Awelon said thoughtfully.

“I have an idea! What if I NTR’d Xiao Yan?” Jyan-Tyenhaw’s lips curled into a lecherous grin.

“I’ll do it personally. I’ll take Xiao Xun’er, Cai Lin, Yun Yun, the Little Fairy Doctor, Ya Fei, Xiao Yu, Nalan Yanran, Xiao Mei, Zi Yan, Qing Lin, Han Yue, Han Xue, Xue Mei, Lin Fei, Cao Ying, Yao Ye, Yue’er, Hu Jia, Liu Fei, You Quan, Tang Huo’er, Dan Chen, Ye Xinlan, Qing Luan, Ling’er, and Yao Ling—all of them into my harem.

“That way, Xiao Yan will renounce all worldly attachments and attain the Flame Emperor’s Dao while still a virgin. How about it?”

“My god, you actually remembered that many names.” Bearmont couldn’t help giving him a thumbs-up.

“Now that’s a move—turning a harem novel into a monk novel!” Chen-Awelon applauded softly. After thinking it over, he added, “But that would take too long. Is there a simpler method?”

(Note: A “monk novel” refers to a web novel in which the male protagonist has neither emotional nor physical relationships with any female characters.)

“Why bother with all that?” Moonbell gave a light snort through her dainty nose. “Chen-Awelon, all you have to do is share the knowledge from the Flex God’s Legacy with me and let me handle the research. With an IQ a hundred times higher than yours, I’ll definitely get results quickly.”

“No way!” Chen-Awelon rejected the idea outright. “What if you become the Flex God? What would happen to me then? I’m the man destined to become the Flex God! Absolutely nothing can go wrong!”

“Cheapskate!” Moonbell puffed out her cheeks unhappily. “Fine, keep wasting your time. With your intelligence, it’ll probably take you forever to come up with a solution!”

With that, she flew off to the side and stopped participating in the discussion.

Finn calmed his mind and carefully recalled the plot of Battle Through the Heavens, trying to find a way to derail the story.

Chapter Two of Battle Through the Heavens read:

[ In Xiao Yan’s heart, there was a secret known only to himself: he was not a person of this world... Xiao Yan’s soul did not belong to this world. He came from a blue planet called Earth... He had transmigrated!

In his previous life, Xiao Yan had been an utterly ordinary member of the undistinguished masses. Money and beautiful women had always run along parallel lines to him, never intersecting…]

Hmm. So Xiao Yan was a transmigrator.

Finn extracted this characteristic and stored it away.

He continued silently pondering the plot of Battle Through the Heavens.

Chapter Three of Battle Through the Heavens read:

[Xiao Yan quietly sucked in a breath of cold air, but his gaze only lingered for a moment on the girl’s cold, beautiful face before shifting away. No matter how childish his appearance might be, he possessed a mature soul.]

Hmm. As a transmigrator, Xiao Yan possessed a mature soul.

Nearby, Bearmont, Chen-Awelon, and Sainquartz were engaged in a heated brainstorming session. They had begun discussing whether they should perform gender-reassignment surgery on Xiao Yan.

Or perhaps they could introduce advanced technology into Battle Through the Heavens, using plasma laser beams and neutron missiles to bombard the Battle Emperors.

Or they could open a crash course for aspiring Battle Emperors, mass-produce Battle Emperors, and make Xiao Yan question his entire life.

Finn ignored their noisy argument and continued searching for a solution.

Chapter Three of Battle Through the Heavens read:

[Xiao Yan lightly sucked in a breath, but his gaze only paused for an instant on the girl’s cold and beautiful face before moving away.

 “Uh... Xun’er is a genius in the clan now. Wouldn’t it be easy for her to make friends?” Xiao Yan forced a laugh as he looked at the girl’s aggrieved profile.

“When Xun’er was four to six years old, someone would sneak into my room every night. Using a very clumsy technique and the little Dou Qi he possessed, he would warm my bones and meridians.

“Every time, he would work until he was drenched in sweat. Only then would he leave, exhausted. Brother Xiao Yan, who do you think that person was?”

 Xun’er was silent for a long while. Then she suddenly turned her head and gave Xiao Yan a radiant smile. The unique charm of a young girl made the surrounding boys’ eyes light up.]

 “Cough... I-I have no idea. We were so young back then—we were still crawling around on the floor. How would I know?”

Xiao Yan’s heart gave a sudden jump. He laughed awkwardly twice, then guiltily turned his gaze toward the hall.

 “Hehe...”

 Looking at Xiao Yan’s reaction, Xiao Xun’er’s lips curved into a gentle smile. She shifted her gaze back to the book and murmured faintly, as if speaking to herself:

“Although I know he meant well, Xun’er is still a girl, no matter how you look at it, right? What kind of person sneaks into a girl’s room and touches her body? If Xun’er ever finds him... hmph...”

The corners of Xiao Yan’s mouth twitched. Feeling guilty, he kept his eyes down, schooled his expression, and said nothing.]

Finn’s eyes snapped wide open. Two piercing beams of light flashed from his dark pupils as an unbelievable possibility struck him.

Xiao Yan was a lolicon!