[Vol. 3] Chapter 4: Spider-Man and Superman

Finn spent several days roaming around Metropolis without finding anything. Whenever he had nothing better to do, he would take out his Potential Scanner and “shoot” passersby with it. Terrified citizens called the police on him several times, convinced that some psychopath was about to turn the city into a real-life game of GTA.

Since Metropolis was Superman’s turf, it was peaceful. Even other superheroes were relatively rare here. It was nothing like Gotham, that fine city where remarkable people seemed to spring up everywhere.

At ten that night, the streets were deserted, save for a few junkies lying on the ground and taking God knew what.

Finn strolled into a dark alley, hoping some thug would follow him in and try to rob him.

Then he could rob them instead.

By using this baiting tactic—something he had learned from the FBI—Finn had made a tidy profit. Despite starting with very little capital, he had already made several thousand dollars.

Sure enough, a man in a baseball cap followed him into the alley, both hands tucked into his pockets. His steps were quick and light, making almost no sound.

Finn took out his Potential Scanner and discreetly scanned him. The man had quite a bit of potential.

The alley was deep and dark. When they reached a shadowy corner beyond the reach of the streetlights, the man in the baseball cap stopped.

“Finn,” he rasped. “Are you trying to lure me in?”

“That’s right.”

Finn turned around. A loaded handgun appeared in his hand as if by magic.

“Hand over all your money, or the street cleaners will be picking up your corpse tomorrow morning.”

The man looked slightly taken aback. “I thought you were a superhero.”

“What can I say? A guy’s gotta eat.” Finn frowned. Suddenly sensing that something was wrong, he pulled the trigger.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Three bullets flew toward the man in the baseball cap.

All three missed.

A hideous black humanoid lunged at Finn from the darkness, its mouth gaping wide to reveal rows of sharp teeth. Drool dripped from its long, crimson tongue.

“So that’s all you’ve got! Hand over every last yellow pill, or you’ll be the one the street cleaners find tomorrow!”

“Venom!”

Finn finally realized who he was dealing with. Venom was an antihero born when an alien symbiote merged with its host—though, to some extent, he was also a villain.

Venom’s black arm hardened into a long, razor-sharp blade and slashed at Finn’s neck.

Finn sidestepped the attack. The Skybearer Sword appeared in his hand, its edge flashing as he slashed open Venom’s chest with a backhanded stroke.

The wound closed instantly. Venom thrust his torso forward, and a forest of razor-sharp blades burst from his body, stabbing at Finn all at once.

Finn couldn’t even be bothered to dodge. Every blade bounced off him.

“If I remember correctly, your weaknesses are fire and sound at certain frequencies. Am I right?” Finn asked with a cold smile.

Venom was horrified. He had always kept his weaknesses carefully hidden. How did this man know about them?

“Me? Afraid of fire and sound? Hahahahaha!” He stubbornly refused to admit it, baring his teeth in a grin as his crimson tongue lashed about. “Go on, then. Conjure up a flamethrower and give it a try.”

He had already made up his mind. With his speed, even if Finn pulled out a flamethrower or a loudspeaker, he could slice it apart before it did anything.

“I don’t need to conjure one. I am the flamethrower!”

Finn pointed his sword. A violent torrent of flame shot from its tip, engulfing Venom.

“Crimson Flame Torrent!”

The superheated flames came fast and fierce. Venom shrieked in agony and rolled across the ground as he burned. Finally realizing how much trouble he was in, he stretched out an arm toward the nearby wall, trying to grab hold of it and escape.

Finn swept his flaming sword sideways. The terrifying flames burned straight through Venom’s entire arm, severing it and cutting off his escape.

The flames of Crimson Flame Torrent clung to him like a parasite burrowing into his bones, burning Venom in unbearable agony. His body rapidly changed from black putty into charcoal.

“Wait! Someone hired me to come after you!” he screamed through the flames. “Don’t you want to know who?”

“Who?” Finn slightly reduced the torrent.

“It… it… it…”

“Spit it out!”

“Kingpin!”

Finn’s eyes flickered. Behind him, a blob of black sludge leaped toward his body. It was a fragment of the Venom symbiote, trying to take him as its host.

“Hmph. Still refusing to give up? You dare try such a paltry trick in front of me?”

Finn stamped his foot. Crimson Flame Torrent burst from beneath his sole, burning the black sludge to ash.

“I told you! Kingpin hired me! Please don’t kill me! I can help you deal with him!”

With his trick exposed, Venom immediately dropped to his knees and begged.

Watching Venom grovel, a mischievous idea suddenly struck Finn.

“Why are you the star of so many Marvel-themed 3D porn videos?”

Venom froze for a moment, then answered, “Actually, I’ve thought about that quite deeply. The obvious reason is probably the explosive popularity of Marvel Rivals and its excellent character models. Beyond that, I think my own assets make the audience even more excited.”

“What assets?”

“I’m big and muscular. My physique is far larger and stronger than an ordinary human’s, which gives me plenty of sex appeal. And there’s another important point: I have black skin.”

“How does that help?”

“Many men prefer women with fair skin. In a sex video, having a dark-skinned man creates a stronger contrast in skin tones, which makes it more stimulating.”

“I see. Wouldn’t that give black men a natural advantage?”

“It does, but you know how it is—racism. A lot of people discriminate against black people. Some instinctively dislike seeing a black man fuck a woman of their own ethnicity, so it actually turns them off. Of course, some people find that even more exciting, but we don’t need to get into that.”

“People dislike black men in porn? Do you have any evidence?”

“Just look at rule34video. It’s mostly 3D porn. Some creators release two versions of the same video, one with a light-skinned man and one with a dark-skinned man. The content is exactly the same. Only the male lead’s skin color changes. You can clearly see that, in most cases, the version with the light-skinned man has a higher like ratio.”

“That’s a pretty convincing observation.”

“Yeah. Everyone says you shouldn’t be racist, but mouths lie. Dicks don’t.” Venom sighed.

“That’s exactly why we need to keep telling people not to be racist,” Finn said. “At the very least, they should make a show of not being racist.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Finn asked, “So, has any of that gotten you more superheroines to fuck?”

“How would that even work?” Venom said helplessly. “You’re way too sexually repressed. This is the real world. Just because I perform well in some fictional 3D videos doesn’t mean women are going to come asking me to fuck them.”

“You dare call me sexually repressed? Die!”

Red-hot flames blasted from Finn’s hand, burning Venom to ash.

Just then, a red-and-blue figure swung over on a web.

Spider-Man.

Venom was an old enemy of his. This time, he had been following Venom, quietly tracking him all the way to Metropolis.

“Hey, buddy! You’ve already burned the bad guy to death! Stop now! We’ve got to call the fire department!” Spider-Man called to Finn.

Finn said nothing. Only after he was certain that Venom had been reduced to ash did he cut off Crimson Flame Torrent.

By then, the entire block was ablaze. During Finn’s battle with Venom in the alley, the unchecked flames had burned straight through the nearby buildings.

“Man, your fighting style is insane! You’re going to kill everyone on this block along with Venom!” Spider-Man said urgently.

Even so, he was shocked. He had fought Venom for so long without ever managing to get rid of the troublesome enemy. Yet the moment Venom ran into Finn, he had been reduced to a pile of Venom-ash.

Spider-Man swung over to a building on the verge of collapse, carried out two children, and set them down somewhere safe.

In his rush to save people, he failed to notice a blob of black sludge creeping toward his feet.

The sludge suddenly sprang up.

Every hair on Spider-Man’s body stood on end, and his spider-sense blared a warning—but it was already too late.

The black sludge slapped onto his ankle and spread like ink, covering his entire body in a layer of black skin.

“No! Get off me!”

Spider-Man clawed desperately at the black coating, but the Venom symbiote was fighting him for control of his body. Neither could gain the upper hand.

“Did you come here just to make things worse?” Finn snapped, wondering whether to give Spider-Man a round of fire therapy.

Suddenly, a violent gale tore through the street, its powerful gusts smothering the flames.

Superman hovered in the night sky, using his super-breath to blow out the fire.

“Are you all right, friend?” he asked with concern as he flew down to Finn.

A fire had broken out in Metropolis. Naturally, he hadn’t just sat around doing nothing. He had rushed straight over.

Finn pointed at Spider-Man, who was rolling on the ground in agony. “I’m fine. Him, not so much.”

“I know this kid. He’s Spider-Man, from the Avengers.” Superman looked puzzled. “What’s wrong with him? Did he put on a black suit that doesn’t fit? Is it too tight? I can sympathize. Getting a hard-on in a skintight suit can be pretty uncomfortable.”

“An alien symbiote has taken him over. Can you produce sound waves in the 4,000-to-6,000-hertz range?” Finn asked.

“Of course,” Superman replied, apparently capable of anything.

His vocal cords vibrated, and sound waves at the required frequency issued from his throat.

“Hrrrrrrrr…”

The symbiote covering Spider-Man twisted and writhed under the sound. It peeled away from him like a sheet of peeling paint, falling to the ground and gathering into a squirming lump.

Freed from its control, Spider-Man hurriedly leaped clear.

Finn unleashed Crimson Flame Torrent. Flames roared skyward, burning the last remnant of the Venom symbiote until not even ash remained.

The little spider hurriedly thanked Finn and Superman. He seemed uneasy about having intruded on Superman’s turf. Shooting out a web, he swung away and disappeared into the vast night sky.

Finn put away the Skybearer Sword. 

“How did Lois Lane end up smashing through a floor-to-ceiling window and falling out of the Daily Planet building earlier?” he asked Superman.

Superman’s expression darkened.

“My investigation points to the Joker.”