[42] Awakened

Everything around me was bright. A little room, only visible in faint outlines.

A warm feeling. A feeling of home. The shape of an old sofa, a low table, the edge of a doorway, a pair of shoes near the entrance. I couldn't make out the details, but I knew them. Somehow, I remembered all of it.

"Alan."

She called my name. A woman's voice, soft and comforting.

I was accompanied with another in this bright place. She sat beside me, her face lost in the brightness.

Her hand rested warmly against my cheek, and I leaned into it as if it were the most natural thing to do.

Even through that blurry, unknown face, I could tell she meant everything to me.

"Remember... if things ever get too difficult, come back, okay?"

Her thumb passed gently over my cheek before her hand slipped away. I followed it with my eyes until she drew back and opened both arms toward me.

I went to her at once. Her arms closed around me, warm and familiar.

"You can protect yourself now. So make sure to return safe and sound with everyone."

Her arms tightened around me.

"You are all precious children to me. Every one of you."

I held onto her tighter.

"Stay safe for me, my child."

As she spoke those words, I could feel that I was about to leave this place. The room slowly grew even brighter. And as I watched that blurry smile in a daze... the light finally swallowed everything.

...

"You're up."

The higher pitch of a girl's voice pulled me into consciousness.

A familiar voice roughened slightly, as if it were exhausted. That sharp contrast from the soft voice from moments before, brought me to my senses again.

My eyes opened slowly.

A redhead was crouched beside me.

"...Maki."

The girl's arms were folded, as her eyes narrowed, locking onto me. 

"What?"

I pushed myself upright, shaking off the grogginess.

"... ...How long did I sleep for?"

Maki didn't answer me. She simply looked away.

A girl with auburn hair tied into two messy tails over her shoulders; Maki was short and slight, dressed in a sailor-style school uniform. The collar and pleated skirt were still obvious beneath the dirt and creases. Like the rest of us, she hadn't changed or properly washed her clothes in days.

I gave a wry smile and glanced around the room.

This was our hideout for the day. A cramped maintenance room with enough space for us to sit, sleep, and keep our supplies out of sight. The walls were bare, the floor was dusty, and there was barely enough room to move without bumping into someone.

Still, it was hidden. No infected had found us here yet. There were signs someone had been living here before us. Whoever it belonged to had gone, leaving the room behind. We felt a little bad about taking over someone else's hiding place, but we needed somewhere to stay. If they weren't here anymore, there was no reason for us to leave it empty.

Sigh.

While I'd been sleeping, the others had already shifted our bags out of the way, checked the entrance and made what little space we had usable. I must have also looked pretty tardy sleeping through all of that. But considering our circumstances... was it really fair to blame me for our lack of sleep?

I raised my wrist and checked the time myself.

"Six thirty..."

"Hmph."

Maki's bangs dipped sharply between her eyes. The look she gave me was more annoyed than worried, though she had been sitting close enough to notice the second I woke. Dirt streaked one cheek, and the lack of sleep showed beneath her eyes.

Maki joined our group four days ago.

She was in the same predicament as the rest of us. The four of us were close in age, brought together by some... very unusual circumstances. Though to be really honest, surviving a zombie apocalypse was unusual enough on its own.

"Don't take it to heart, Alan," another voice chimed in, "We know you've been really tired too, so... we just let you sleep." The reply came quietly from the other side of the room, spoken in a soft, hesitant tone.

"Nadia... ...thanks."

Nadia. Small, quiet, bespectacled, and easily the most timid-looking among us. She sat on the other side of the room with her knees pulled close to her chest. As the youngest-looking in our group, Nadia was petite enough that the oversized sleeves around her wrists only made her seem even more like a schoolgirl. Black hair hung untidily around the frames of her glasses, and like the rest of us, she hadn't properly washed or changed in days. The cuffs of her sleeves were stained, with dried smears across her trousers.

This girl was the most recent addition to the group, having joined us only two days ago. Yet she was already perhaps the most important member.

"Alan. About your dream..." Nadia suddenly added, hesitantly. There was a quiet certainty beneath her words, tinged with expectation, as if she wanted me to confirm something.

"...Did you see her again?"

Her. Of course I did. We all did.

I nodded quietly.

She was the only thing we knew. A woman who came in the hollow moments before sleep, with soft hands and a voice that hummed like a lullaby, though none of us could agree on what she actually looked like. I, for one, call her Mother.

Beyond that, our memories failed us. We knew our names, and the world well enough to survive in it. But our personal histories had been erased, leaving only common sense and the present moment. What bound us together was that shared ignorance: none of us knew what had happened, and that mutual blankness became its own kind of foundation. We were just four kids missing selective pieces of our pasts, as if someone had stripped away everything that made us who we were.

We had only each other. The past week of running, fighting, desperately clinging to survival... it was terrifying to live in a country overrun by zombies. But at times, Mother guided us. In our dreams, she spoke of things that came to pass, as if we were touched by fragments of foresight.

But this time... I vaguely recalled the dream.

It didn't seem like Mother had told me anything particularly helpful.

Nadia came over to me with a handkerchief as I fell deep in thought, motioning to my forehead. Apparently I had racked up a sweat while I was asleep.

"Thanks."

Nadia smiled as I dabbed my forehead with the cloth.

"So?"

A third voice cut in. Rough, carrying the same rude edge like a juvenile.

Teucer.

He sat with his back to us in front of the folding table, hunched towards the small monitor we'd found when we entered. Teucer's bleached hair was cut almost down to the scalp, leaving the thin black thorn-like tattoo along his upper forehead exposed. A dirty beige sweater hung loosely over his frame, paired with drawstring trousers and scuffed trainers. He looked about my age, though the permanent scowl and lack of sleep made him seem harsher than the rest of us.

"What is it this time?"

"...I'm... not sure."

Because this time, Mother didn't give me a route. Instead, it seemed more like a recollection of the past.

"Might be... old memories."

Teucer seemed to catch the hesitation in my words, and he clicked his tongue.

"Useless."

It's not like I can control what I dream of.

A certain part of me felt that Teucer might've been jealous because I enter these dreams more often than everyone else. But I kept it to myself. Knowing Teucer's temperament, it wouldn't end well.

Teucer had been the first one I'd met, six days ago. Since then, he'd never been shy about criticising my decisions. He only joined me because travelling together gave him a better chance of surviving, and he made sure I knew it at every turn. But he wasn't weak. Just like me... just like all of us, Teucer was an Awakened. I found Teucer at the remains of a bus stop with three infected frozen stiff around him. Frost Breath. That was what he called his ability.

Awakened. The survivors had started calling people like us the Awakened; the rare few who could fight the infected without weapons, almost as if we'd stepped straight out of some fantasy world. But even with these powers, we had nothing else.

"Then, what about your fire? Do you feel anything different?" Teucer remained unconvinced.

My fire... Flame Fists. I looked down at my palm and reached for that familiar connection again. Heat gathered beneath my skin before a weak flame flickered over my fingers. It was barely there.

"No. It's the same." I closed my hand. "One or two more uses, at best."

Hmm?

"Alan, did you think of something?" Nadia probed as she stared at me.

Maybe Mother was trying to tell me that.

"If things got too difficult... I was told to... come back."

"...Come back? Where?"

"I... I'm not sure."

"So much for being the leader. Without her help, where are we supposed to run to next?"

Teucer moved away from the controls, "The food and water here won't last us a day. This place won't be enough to throw them off either."

He stopped in front of me. "You were the one who said we should follow her words." a finger pressed hard on my chest, "If you start fumbling now, what should I think about what happened to Leah? Huh?"

That's right. There were five of us.

"Don't give me that look. I'm not asking for cheap pity."

I was pulled by the collar.

"Give us something to work with, you useless leader."

His hand closed around my neck. A faint cold began spreading across my neck.

"Say something. Anything."

My eyes remained fixed on his, as they turned light blue.

"No one is saying it out loud, but everyone knows."

My neck started to freeze.

"Our mana is running dry. We're tired of running. We'll be driven to our deaths before the week passes."

Teucer's right.

Without mana, we could not hope to survive. The unseen resource that we had been relying on to use our abilities, that's what we'd started calling it over the past week.

None of us knew what it really was, but we all knew enough games for the comparison to stick. Every time we used our abilities, it felt like spending from a bar we couldn't see, and whatever was in it never seemed to refill on its own. Somewhere deep inside all of us, there was a vague understanding that if we kept using our powers at this rate, sooner or later, we'd hit zero.

Even then... 

"...Is that all you have to say?"

"Ah? This guy..."

I grabbed Teucer's wrist.

"I'm sorry it was disappointing news. I know it's tough. But we're all in it together, right?"

"Together? Hah. Rich words coming from you."

Anger began to rise. Cheap provocation, but exhaustion had also seeped into my mind. The role of a leader that had been dropped onto my shoulders, the burden of losing a companion because of my decision...

"Teucer. What do you want from me?" Heat began spreading from my palm into his skin.

"I'm telling you, that's all I heard!"

And Teucer, as expected, rose up defiantly against my words.

"You wanna go then?"

I saw my burning visage reflected in his eyes.

"Alan!" "Teucer, stop!" The two girls quickly stepped in between us.

A moment of clarity broke me out of it.

I slapped away Teucer's grip.

"...Don't waste your power on stupid things. Those things are still after us."

Teucer gave me a hard glare.

"I really don't know this time. But if I had to assume, maybe going back to Mother is how we replenish our mana. Let's just... last another day. I'll try asking for the location the next time."

"...Hey. Do you even hear yourself?"

Teucer wasn't convinced. From the uneasy looks on Maki and Nadia's faces, neither were they. I couldn't blame them.

"I know. Even then... we've come this far with her help haven't we? We found each other."

Teucer didn't answer.

"If Mother is telling us to return, then that's what we should try to do."

Silence. Then...

"...Fuck!" Teucer slammed the table.

This feeling of powerlessness wasn't just Teucer's. Without a way to recharge our mana, we were just ordinary teenagers.

I looked around the cramped room.

"...Hold out for one more day, please."

Nadia was the first to speak up.

"T-That's right... let's listen to Alan one more time, okay?"

Then Maki, "This place seems safe enough for tonight. I think we'll make it."

She looked at me with a frown.

"You're sleepy, right? Then go back to sleep."

"...I literally just woke up."

"Then shut up and rest."

Maki turned away before I could answer. Teucer went back to the monitor with another click of his tongue. The argument was over, at least for now. The room itself was barely big enough for all of us. Bags, food containers and tools had been pushed wherever there was space. Whoever lived here had done a good job hiding it. Had it not been for Mother guiding us here, we would have walked straight past.

...Just then, the monitor gave a soft electronic chirp.

"Oi... guys." Teucer's voice was tense. Given his character, we could tell it was something serious. With bated breaths, we quickly gathered and watched the screen.

Movement on the first camera. A man had entered the sheltered walkway carrying a bag. Older than us. Much older. He stopped beneath the camera before continuing toward the lift lobby.

Teucer switched feeds. The man appeared again, then disappeared toward the side of the lobby.

"You don't think..." Maki swallowed her words.

"Must be passing by." Teucer murmured.

The figure passed into a blind spot, and we lost sight of him.

"Where'd he go?"

A sound came from outside.

All four of us froze. It had come from right beyond the entrance.

"Come out."

We stayed silent, but amidst the silence we were all exchanging glances.

"I don't want trouble. Just... come out, alright? This place is mine. You can't stay here."

...It was occupied after all.

"Alan," Nadia whispered. "What do we do?"

"Grab something. Be ready."

Sorry, but... we wanted to live too.

The junk beyond the door shifted.

Everyone tensed. Then the handle moved.

"Alan, be careful!"

Teucer stepped forward.

"Teucer!"

The door opened.

An older man stood on the other side with a steel bar clutched tightly in both hands.

"...Teenagers?"

A voice that seemed disarmed, yet still clearly cautious of us.

"Teucer, don't attack!" I quietly cried out.

A hand emitting cold mist was just inches away from the man's head. The man quickly turned and saw Teucer who had crept up from his blind spot. He fell on his back in shock.

No one said a word. Until Teucer clicked his tongue again.

At the very least, I thought this man was amenable to reason. Plus, he seemed to have came alone. Since we were the ones who had intruded, perhaps there was an opportunity for dialogue. There were no advantages to making more noise and attracting what we had intended to hide from.

I stepped forward and extended my hand to this man.

"I'm sorry sir, for coming to your place like this. You must have been surprised."

The man was muttering something under his breath, "Awakened..."

I smiled wryly.

"Please come in quickly sir..."

I offered a hand, and he responded in kind. Once the door was closed again, the five of us were now open for a conversation.

"What are you guys... doing here."

The man, still clutching his steel bar warily, eyed Teucer at the side.

I gave Teucer a look, and he backed off quietly, folding his arms with a disapproving expression.

"That's Teucer. This is Maki. Nadia. I'm Alan." I gave the introductions.

"We found this place earlier today, but we haven't taken anything much from here."

"There's nothing to take anyway." Teucer threw himself into the conversation, but Maki and Nadia quickly kept him quiet.

"We actually... just needed a night's stay here. If you could just overlook us this one time... sir." I continued.

A moment of deliberation.

"...Ramesh."

"Mr... Ramesh. I swear we won't be any trouble at all. We'll take one corner of the room."

Another pause. This time, there was a look of resignation on his face.

"...I was only out for a few hours." Mr Ramesh sighed, "Looks like this place is a bust."

"A... bust?"

"If you kids can find this place so easily, then I really need to consider a new place." He leaned against the wall with an exhausted expression.

I stayed silent at his words. I couldn't tell him that we knew of this place because of a dream.

But from the way this conversation is going, perhaps it's really possible for us to stay here for the night?

"So you'll let us?"

Mr Ramesh scratched his head.

"I'm not that heartless. You kids may have came in uninvited... but well. I can't blame you for this. We're all victims here."

Mr Ramesh was a nicer person that we'd expected. The girls seemed to have dropped their guards too.

"...You kids are free to stay the night here. In exchange..." He eyed Teucer again.

"Tell me more about yourselves."