Chapter 190 – Despair and Hope

Chapter 190: Chapter 190 – Despair and Hope

A white space...

No ceiling, no walls, no floor in the usual sense...

- (Me). "..."

Just a white environment, shadowless and endless.

Everything around him was like a blank sheet of paper, stretching in all directions to the very horizon, which didn’t actually exist.

(Huh?... Uh?)

Sohen stood on his own two feet.

His feet felt a solid surface, but when he carefully shifted his weight from one foot to the other, there was almost no sound.

Just a barely audible, muffled touch.

- (Me). "Where... Where am I?"

The voice sounded hollow.

Not like in a room or on the street.

It simply vanished into the whiteness, leaving not even the slightest echo.

Sohen blinked.

Again.

Harder.

- (Me). "..."

The world hadn’t changed.

He slowly raised his hands and looked at them.

The fingers were his.

The skin was his.

On his left wrist was a thin white scar he’d gotten back in the summer when he accidentally fell while playing with his football friends.

Everything looked normal.

Only the surroundings — no.

He gently pinched the inside of his forearm.

- (Me). "Ouch!..."

The pain was sharp and real.

A small red spot immediately appeared on his skin.

- (Me). "This... isn’t a dream."

His heart began to race.

Sohen looked around sharply.

To the right — a white expanse.

To the left — a white expanse.

Behind him — the same.

Ahead — nothing again.

He took a step back.

Another one.

Then he spun around abruptly and shouted:

- (Me). "Mom?!"

His voice cracked.

He cleared his throat and repeated louder:

- (Me). "Mom! Grandma!"

Silence.

It wasn’t just silence, was the complete absence of any sound except his own breathing and the pounding of his heart in his ears.

- (Me). "Haaah!... Ahh..."

Fear washed over him in a wave.

First from his stomach, then it rose to his chest and tightened his throat.

Sohen spun around abruptly and started walking.

Quickly.

Almost running.

He didn’t know exactly where he was going; he simply chose a direction and rushed forward, constantly glancing over his shoulder.

The "White World" seemed to go on forever

No landmarks.

No shadows.

Even his own shadow beneath his feet was barely visible, as if the light were coming from everywhere at once.

After a few dozen steps, he stopped, breathing heavily.

- (Me). "Phew... Phew..."

There was a ringing in his ears.

His mouth was dry.

The elbow he’d banged against the wall at school began to ache again with a dull, lingering pain that spread throughout his entire arm.

- (Me). "Where... am I..."

He dropped to one knee.

His palm touched the surface beneath his feet.

It was warm.

Not cold like concrete, and not warm like wood after the sun.

Just warm and completely smooth.

Sohen ran his fingers over it.

- (Me). "Hmm..."

No rough spots, seams, or cracks.

- (Me). "..."

He stood up and carefully hopped in place.

He landed.

The sound was muffled, as if the floor were absorbing it.

- (Me). "This... is unreal..."

His body continued to tremble with fear, and on top of that came exhaustion, as well as... a quiet, almost involuntary curiosity, like that of a child who had stumbled into a place that shouldn’t exist.

- (Me). "..."

He took a step forward.

Then another.

Slowly.

Carefully.

Listening intently.

- (Me). "Hmm..."

The white expanse was silent.

Sohen walked.

And walked.

And walked.

- (Me). "..."

It felt as if time didn’t exist here.

He didn’t know how much time had passed - a minute, ten minutes, maybe an hour.

His legs began to feel heavy.

His head was buzzing.

His thoughts were jumbled.

(Maybe I’m dead? This feels like that same white world they sometimes talk about in movies... I can feel pain, though not quite like in reality. The fatigue feels different, too. I don’t feel like eating at all. What the hell is all this?!)

He stopped and called out again:

- (Me). "Mom!"

His voice came out weaker.

There was no answer.

- (Me). "..."

Sohen slowly sat down right on the white surface, wrapped his arms around his knees, and pressed his chin against them.

For several long minutes, he just sat there, staring into nothingness.

His breathing gradually evened out.

The fear didn’t completely go away, but it grew quieter, deeper, less intense.

Then he raised his head.

- (Me). "I have to... keep moving. Maybe a way out is waiting for me ahead."

Sohen stood up and decided to keep moving forward.

...

- (Me). "Fifty-nine... Sixty... Damn it. It’s been exactly a week..."

Just as Sohen had said, 604,800 seconds had passed since he’d started counting in his head to keep from completely losing his mind during his "unexpected journey."

Unfortunately, there was no end in sight to this mysterious white expanse.

The young man walked and walked, hoping for a miracle, but all he got was despair and that hideous white color that was everywhere.

- (Me). "Shit... Shit!..."

Throughout all those seconds, minutes, hours, and days, Sohen stopped about a hundred times to be alone with his thoughts.... this was necessary for his emotional well-being.

(Mom, Grandma, and Sister...)

During the first few days, he stopped quite often and recalled various events from his past involving Nanako, Maria, the Female Police Officer, Mom, Sister, Grandma, the Family Doctor, the Psychologist, Neburo, and Sakura, as well as... his biological Father.

- (Me). "..."

Thanks to these memories, he found the motivation to keep going, but as soon as the fifth day began, Sohen’s brain shut down.

(Hah...)

The boy, who already had a host of serious psychological problems, finally turned into something that’s hard to call... a human being.

- (Me). "Eleven... Twelve... Thirteen..."

He hadn’t completely lost himself yet, but he was on the brink, and when a few more minutes passed...

(~sound of a bell)

- (Me). "???"

(What was that? It sounded like... a bell?)

Sohen suddenly started turning in all directions to figure out where the source of that strange sound was coming from, but he never found it.

(An auditory hallucination?... Hehe... I think I’m going crazy. Hehe... I’m starting to hear things that don’t exist... Hehe... Could I really be close to...)

(~sound of a bell)

- (Me). "Again?!"

The soft ringing of the bell made itself heard again, but Sohen still couldn’t figure out where it was coming from.

(~sound of a bell)

- (Me). "Where the hell are you ringing from?! Show yourself already?!... Could this really be a hallucination... Hmm?"

Sohen scanned everything he could possibly see in the white space, which was relatively easy, since there was nothing there, but during all those days of solitude, he had been so focused on his surroundings that he had forgotten... to check the pockets of his shorts.

- (Me). "???"

A faint white light in the right pocket of his black shorts made it clear that something was off.

He carefully reached in and, a second later, pulled out...

- (Me). "Is that... a phone?"

As soon as Sohen pulled it out, the very same phone he’d found recently rang with that now-familiar ringtone, which this time sounded crystal clear.

- (Me). "That same Samsung..."

The source of the sound was now clear, but that wasn’t the end of it.

- (Me). "What is this..."

The screen, which hadn’t turned on before, was now glowing a pleasant yellowish-white color.

- (Me). "It’s been in my pocket the whole time?"

The glow from the phone’s screen continued for a while longer before suddenly dimming.

- (Me). "..."

Sohen glanced at it and saw...

- (Me). "?pou n??u o? o?o ou ?zō ?? u??s?? un?-’?qo?o? ???qns ?? ???? ou un? -˙??u???p ?? o?o? n???o? o ???? o? ???p ˙no??pn??u ?u ō????s ?? ???? ’ ??o? ?????p ????? o ??? ouos ’??o? ???qns o ??o? ?? un? -˙n?? ?u o?o? ?u ???? n?ns n?o?ns? o ???? ?? ??s???? ˙n????? ?? ???qns ?? ? ?????o? ’?????? ????s o ?o?o ???ns? ?p?? ??o? ?? un? -˙o?o?o? ’?u n????????..."

(What does this say? I can’t understand a single word...)

A strange text appeared on the screen, written in black letters and in an unknown language.

- (Me). "..."

The text remained on the screen for a while, then disappeared just as unexpectedly as it had appeared.

(What does all this mean...)

As soon as the text vanished, the light went out too, and this mysterious phone turned off... only for the familiar Samsung startup animation to appear on the screen a few seconds later.

- (Me). "???"

The animation ended, and before long, Sohen was holding a phone in his hand that... started working just like any ordinary gadget of its kind.

- (Me). "..."

(This is... Me... Um... Here... Phew... Phew... The White World...)