My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

Jin Renguang didn't care about his dislocated arm and bruised waist, nor did he care about the running Yan Jihuan. All his attention was on the baby in his arms. The last time Jin Renguang gazed upon the baby was when he was sent into the incubator with multiple tubes piercing his tender skin. At that time, the baby was still alive and kicking, crying loudly and pitifully.

But now, he was already breathless. His face puckered as if in pain until his last breath and his lips had turned into a shade of blue and purple.

"Jin, I found Yan Jihuan! She wanted to attack me!" 

When Immortal dragged the struggling Yan Jihuan into the room, what he saw was the silhouette of Jin Renguang kneeling, trying to perform emergency first aid to the baby who had just stopped breathing. Sweat dotted his forehead, and his eyes were red.

"Let go of me!" Yan Jihuan shrieked madly, but when her sight landed on the lonesome back of Jin Renguang in the middle of the messy and dusty room, her struggles ceased as if strength was seeping out of her body. "Baby…my baby…"

Jin Renguang noticed their presence. Wrapping the baby in his coat tightly, he roared. "Call the ambulance!"

Immortal regained his senses and stammered. "R—Rainbow has already called for it."

Right when his words fell, loud blaring sirens pierced through the heavy downpour and they could see the bright red lights from afar. Jin Renguang disregarded everyone in the room and dashed out carrying the baby whose warmth had slowly started to dissipate.

He was anxious, desperate and frantic.

He was drenched from head to toe as he dashed straight into the curtain of the heavy rain. When he arrived in front of the barely stopping ambulance, the baby was still dry and safely secured. "Save him—" He hollered desperately. "SAVE THE BABY!"

The doctor's face was solemn as another emergency treatment was carried out inside the ambulance. Tubes and machines were connected with the little infant's vulnerable body. Yet, what Jin Renguang received in the end was a shake of her head. "Sorry, Mr Jin…the baby was already very weak and got a chill. He also hasn't eaten anything and…"

No further words were needed. The baby, who had just arrived in the world less than five days ago, was gone just like that.

Jin Renguang slumped onto the ground, huge droplets of rain fell upon his face. Or maybe, it was tears. His red eyes stared unblinkingly at the doctor, seemingly in daze. 

It wasn't until RainbowBaby pulled him up did he realize that Immortal had come out with Yan Jihuan in his arms.

Every single sound—the doctor's angry exclamations, RainbowBaby's furious shouts, the ambulance screeching, the rain—everything faded away and what remained in Jin Renguang was rage. A blazing, scorching rage.

When Yan Jihuan stumbled past him into the ambulance to cradle the baby with a blank expression on her face, Jin Renguang asked, his tone so calm that it scared himself. "Yan Jihuan, are you satisfied now? You lost your baby and now, you have also lost me...thoroughly."

Yan Jihuan stared at him with empty eyes. The doctor hovered around her and pushed her to lay down on the bed. "Mr. Jin, we have to hurry back to the hospital! The mother is in danger, her operation wound has reopened and shows signs of infection!"

Jin Renguang didn't hear her, his eyes staring fixedly at Yan Jihuan. No emotions could be seen in his eyes yet there were also deep undercurrents veiled within. He wiped the water on his face roughly and laughed. "Yan Jihuan, I don't want to see you anymore. Even when you die, I, Jin Renguang, swear that I. Will. Never. Step. A. Foot. Into. Your. Grave! Ever!"

"Mr. Jin!"

"Jin!"

The doctor, Immortal and Rainbow shouted for him to no avail. Jin Renguang had broken his way through the crowd and dashed into the heavy rain, leaving his car behind. Even RainbowBaby was unable to catch up to him.

Jin Renguang himself was unclear as to where he had gone on that day. What remained in his memory was the baby's pained, purple face, Yan Jihuan's bitter smile and the chilling rain that seeped into his skin and bones. 

The rain fell unceasingly for the rest of the night as if mourning for an innocent soul's departure.

Yan Jihuan fell into depression after the incident, but Jin Renguang was unmoved. It was like his heart had frozen into stone regardless of his in-law's cursing and his parent's light persuasion.

The army was helpless when they received a letter of resignation from Jin Renguang a few days after.

Immortal and RainbowBaby finally learned the truth after they personally sent Yan Jihuan and her baby into the hospital. They turned silent simultaneously. Yan Jihuan was their closest comrades and also the little sister they had cherished but Jin Renguang was also one. In this matter, outsiders could see the problem better than the related party. Indeed, they had to admit it was Yan Jihuan's fault thus they did nothing to hold Jin Renguang back, only throwing him a personal party when he came to bring his stuff back.

Jin Renguang spent the rest of his savings to buy a house in City S and moved there. He applied to be a local police officer who did menial jobs. 

The higher ups thought that it was below Jin Renguang to be an ordinary police officer. Thus they created a new department for him and named it 'Special Crime Investigation Unit' with him as the Captain.

Not long after he settled into his new job, his parents carefully exposed the news that Yan Jihuan committed suicide a day after she knew Jin Renguang had resigned from the army. His parents had helped him to set the funeral and buried Yan Jihuan with her baby. Not in Jin ancestors' graves, of course. They weren't such a saint to accept such a woman in their ancestry. It was already the best treatment they could offer after the suffering she had inflicted to their son.

Jin Renguang didn't react much after hearing the news which made his mother heave a sigh of relief. "Renguang, you're still young. You…"

He knew what his mother wanted to say but currently, he didn't want to hear any of it. "I know. Don't worry too much about me. Buy yourself good food and travel around as you like. If I have vacation, I will make sure to come home and visit you sometimes."

Mother Jin didn't have any qualms about her son not being at home. She clicked her tongue exasperatedly. "You know what I want to say. You and Meiqi—"

"Oh, the Director summons me to his office. Talk to you later." He directly hung up on the phone.

There was no change in his expression nor did his colleagues realize something off about him. It was just that, when he got off work, Jin Renguang drove to the supermarket and bought ten cans of beer. That night, he finished them all.

The next day when he arrived at the police station, no one could spot anything different about him except for thicker eyebags and the words he spoke didn't exceed ten words for the rest of the day.

Only he himself knew, what was different was only a new mail resting snugly in his phone. A very short mail, yet it needed three hours for him to finish drafting. He only needed one click for it to be sent to the other side of the ocean.

To: Ru Meiqi

Subject: None

Qiqi, I have never betrayed the promises I swore to you. Every single one of them. 

But maybe, we do need some time apart from each other to sort out our feelings. When I have settled everything, am I allowed to meet you again?

With my utmost sincerity,

JIN

.

.

.

A/N: fyi, Jin Renguang's codename is a simple 'JIN' and that's also his name in Ru Meiqi's phone (*´ω｀*) 

Finally, Jin Renguang's backstory is over! Now, you understand why he's not willing to go see his wife even after five years.. I think I will not be able to forgive her for the rest of my life if I was Jin Renguang. Can I say that she deserves it? Poor baby QAQ