My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

Shi Nian almost never saw Jiang Jinyan show any weakness before. He was just like a tight lipped bottle, his pride was sky high and he always wore that sardonic smile that made people unable to guess what he was thinking about.

Almost. It meant that she had.

It was one rare occasion when General Jiang became tipsy just after three cups of Pear Blossom Wine. He was such an enigmatic man. He commanded thousands of boorish men who gulped down booze before they picked up their swords and jumped to the battlefield, yet he himself was such that he could become drunk just after a little bit of mellow, gracious wine.

The drunk Jiang Jinyan was unlike others who would make a fuss, did something atrocious or silly, nor did he look like a drunkard. He would just sit there with his eyes half lidded, his entire person exuded a languid and unrestrained aura. Extremely well behaved and obedient. The only thing that could prove otherwise was the redness on the tip of his ears which was contrasted with his fair skin.

Shi Nian had never been drunk before nor could she be one, considering how she wielded the Earth's spiritual power in her body. Any liquor that could cause the mind to become muddled would be flush out of her system.

She sat in front of him, under the wisteria tree in his courtyard, sipping the wine bit by bit.

"Do you know why I gave you the name Shi Nian?" he asked all of a sudden.

Shi Nian raised a brow but nonetheless shook her head honestly.

Alas, the man didn't even look at her. Instead, he asked again. "At that time, when the executioner's blade was hanging above your neck, what did you feel?"

Shi Nian put down the cup and contemplated seriously. Even though it had just been less than a year since that day, somehow she felt like it was an event from a few lifetimes ago. How could she guess that someday, the person who was scorned as the witch would sit together with the Great General in the entire dynasty, chatting peacefully over a jar of wine?

She dipped her finger to the wine and wrote on the table. [Liberation.] Free, relieved, unshackled. Just like a butterfly that was ready to break through its cocoon and spread its wings.

Jiang Jinyan narrowed his eyes. "Liberation…" he murmured. "Some people said that death was the beginning of life itself. But then, if that's true, then what is it that we're experiencing now? A prequel? Preparation?"

The General she knew would never say something like that. Shi Nian scrutinized him intently. [Are you drunk?]

To her surprise, he readily admitted. "Yes, I am. Only a person that has a guilty conscience will deny accusations. But I'm not. I have a very clear conscience."

He's starting to talk nonsense…Shi Nian confirmed that he was indeed drunk.

Seeing that Jiang Jinyan was ready to down another cup, she hurriedly snatched it away from his hand. General Jiang didn't realize anything, he still held onto empty air and tilted his head back, wiping the imaginary wine on his lips. Then, he was stunned, his dark eyes looked at her in confusion. "Why is it tasteless?"

Shi Nian: "…"

She was rendered speechless. Fortunately, there was nobody to see General Jiang like this or else he would become a laughingstock. Before she could think of how to handle this drunkard, Jiang Jinyan chuckled and patted her head. "I am just kidding, silly girl."

She snapped her head up to see his unfathomable, deep eyes that were like the highest quality black jade. No light would be able to shine through it. Profoundly beautiful yet mysterious at the same time. You wouldn't realize that you had been sucked in until you couldn't extract yourself from the quagmire that was his eyes.

At that time, those eyes were exceedingly bright and clear, making her doubt whether he had just been acting. "I gave you that name because I yearn. I also yearn for death…like you."

Shi Nian looked at him with slight surprise.

"Are you wondering why someone like me would like to seek death? I yield power, authority, and wealth in my hands that other people find unreachable." He retracted his hand and grabbed the purple branch that was hanging down from the tree. "But it's also these hands that have slain countless people, brought innumerable sufferings and despair."

Shi Nian shook her head, unable to bring herself to agree. He was the dynasty's greatest hero. With his blade, he had protected the country behind his back, allowing them to live a peaceful life.

"On the battlefield, the enemy's sword has grazed my body countless times," he continued. "But everytime, I would dodge, stubbornly hanging onto this meager life of mine, unwilling to perish and die. Say, do you think it's cowardly of a person who is eager for death?"

General Jiang and coward were two words that would have never been placed together no matter in what context. This strong, fearless and ruthless man…how could he think so lowly of himself? How could he feel inferior? It was so absurd, she thought.

Jiang Jinyan clenched his fist, trembling ever so slightly. Maybe it was just the trick of the light, or maybe she was just imagining it, but at that time, she seemed to see a layer of mist covering his eyes.

For the first time ever, she found this formidable, dependable man to be so fragile, so helpless and confused that she wanted to hug him and tell that he was great. Very, very great.

She thought, and so she did.

Jiang Jinyan blinked, never expecting that one day he would be comforted by a fifteen years old brat. He couldn't help but chuckle. "What are you doing?"

Shi Nian instantly pulled herself away, mortified by her bluntness. Her cheeks blushed furiously and she didn't know where to put her hands and feet. In the end, she could only gulp down the wine to cover her embarrassment.

Jiang Jinyan didn't let it get to himself. He propped up his chin, his lips curled up in his usual smirk yet she could still sense a hint of sadness in them. "With my sins, I should be punished in Eighteen Layers of Hell when I die, right? No matter how terrifying it is, can it compare to the endless bloodshed and cruel deaths in wars? What do you think?"

Shi Nian lowered her head and didn't dare to look straight at him. Her thin skin flushed crimson, even the rims of her eyes reddened. She didn't know why but at that time, she really wanted to cry. Yet she held herself back. The tears hung onto her eyelashes stubbornly, like the morning dew on the tip of a willow branch leaf, lingering tightly like a pair of passionate lovers.

When Jiang Jinyan was closing his eyes, resting, Shi Nian quietly reached out and scribbled on the table with the tip of her fingers, as if caressing the scar on his face gently.

[I will accompany you.]

If so, he wouldn't be afraid anymore, right?

Three months after that short event, he was summoned to the Palace to receive the Imperial Edict, marching on his horse into another war. But this time, what returned was only a cut of his hair as his body had perished together with the mountain of corpses. He had lived his life in full glory yet sadly, died as a traitor.

I will accompany you. So...wait for me a bit, okay?

One day after Traitor Jiang's demise, his servant girl's body was found in his residence, cold and lifeless, hanging onto the ceiling with a piece of white silk.

.

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A/N:

A glimpse of their past and Shi Nian's devotion QAQ

But no, at that time, there's no romance between them, only a tender, intangible feelings that can't be described with words. Somehow, it's more bittersweet than a mere love, much much more pious, pure and passionate than that.

The reason Jiang Jinyan died as a traitor, I will not elaborate more in the story. But it has to do with the political struggle. He's the Great General and the people's hero. Yet in one sky, two suns weren't allowed to exist. It's the Emperor who's getting paranoid and ended up using the war to kill him. Jiang Jinyan himself knew that he's getting more powerful, knew that the Emperor would be wary of him, but he still let himself into the trap.. As he said, he's one who sought for death. Maybe, it's the liberation for General Jiang who has suffered his whole life QAQ