Chapter 87: Trying Again And Trying Harder

JENNA’S POV

Five thousand dollars.

Jenna had been trying not to think about it since they left Dina downstairs.

It wasn’t working.

She glanced sideways at Adrian.

He looked annoyingly normal.

One hand was in his pocket. The other held the drink he’d bought earlier, and his face had settled into that same expression he wore whenever he was deciding whether something was worth saying.

Like he hadn’t just handed someone five thousand dollars.

Jenna looked ahead again.

Who did that?

More importantly, who did that and then walked upstairs like the biggest problem waiting for him was probably lunch?

She’d almost asked him twice.

Then she remembered his explanation.

It was an investment.

Right.

Apparently, that explained everything.

Jenna wasn’t convinced.

If he’d been showing off, at least she’d have understood him. Rich people did strange things when they wanted everyone to know they had money.

Adrian hadn’t even looked pleased with himself.

He’d just handed Dina the money.

That was worse.

Now Jenna couldn’t decide whether he was generous or insane.

Probably both.

The elevator opened.

Rose was waiting outside.

Her eyes moved from Jenna to Adrian, then to the drinks in Jenna’s hands.

"You took your time."

Jenna lifted the carrier. "We got distracted."

Rose’s eyes narrowed.

"By what?"

Jenna glanced at Adrian.

He glanced back.

Neither of them looked interested in explaining five thousand dollars in a hallway.

"Dina needed help," Adrian said.

Rose paused.

"And?"

Jenna answered before Adrian could.

"I’ll tell you later."

Rose looked at her for a second longer, then took her drink.

"Fine."

Jenna relaxed.

Barely.

Then Rose pointed toward the room.

"You’re training first."

Jenna’s shoulders dropped.

"Now?"

"You said you wanted to improve."

"I know."

"So improve."

Jenna stared at her.

Rose smiled.

It was a perfectly pleasant smile.

Which meant she was enjoying this.

"You’re enjoying this."

"A little."

"You’re terrible."

Rose turned and walked inside.

Jenna followed.

Red-haired slut.

She’d called Rose that in her head more than once.

Usually with good reason.

Unfortunately, Rose was also turning out to be a surprisingly good teacher.

That almost made Jenna feel bad.

Almost.

Not enough to stop using the nickname.

The training room had been cleared enough for them to work. A mirror covered most of one wall.

Jenna immediately hated it.

Not because the mirror was bad.

The mirror was fine.

It was the person inside it that was becoming a problem.

Rose pointed toward the middle of the room.

"Warm up."

Jenna rolled her shoulders.

"You’re very encouraging."

"I haven’t started yet."

"That’s somehow worse."

Rose laughed.

Jenna began warming up.

The familiar exercises settled her down. Breathing. Pitch. Control. Things with rules.

She liked things with rules.

A note was either right or it wasn’t. If she missed it, she could figure out why and fix it.

People were different.

People could decide you were doing something wrong without explaining what you’d done.

Songs were easier.

Give Jenna the melody, the lyrics, enough time, and she’d get there.

Apparently, idols needed more than that.

Which was slightly unfair.

"Your song," Rose said.

Jenna picked up the microphone.

Fine.

She started.

The first verse came easily. By the second, the room had started disappearing around her.

That was the part she liked.

She didn’t have to think about her face. Her hands. Whether anyone was watching.

She could just sing.

Then she opened her eyes.

Rose was staring at her.

Jenna immediately became aware of her own face.

Great.

She finished the song and lowered the microphone.

Rose waited a moment.

"You close your eyes."

Jenna blinked.

"I was singing."

"I noticed."

"Then what’s the problem?"

"You disappear."

Jenna frowned.

Rose nodded toward the mirror.

"Watch yourself next time."

Jenna looked at the reflection.

She looked... normal.

Maybe too normal.

She was standing there like someone singing alone in her room.

"You barely move," Rose added.

"I’m not dancing."

"I didn’t ask you to."

"Good."

Rose folded her arms.

"Then give people something to watch."

Jenna stared at the mirror.

That sounded simple.

It wasn’t.

She tried again.

This time she kept her eyes open.

For about fifteen seconds.

Then she became painfully aware that she was keeping her eyes open.

Which meant she was thinking about her eyes.

Which was stupid.

She shifted her weight.

Too much.

Her hand came up.

Too early.

She saw herself in the mirror and immediately thought, Why did I do that?

She lost the rhythm.

Jenna stopped the music.

"That was awful."

Rose’s mouth twitched.

"You looked surprised."

"I was surprised."

"By your own hand?"

"It betrayed me."

Rose laughed.

Jenna pointed at her.

"Don’t laugh."

"I’m not."

"You are."

"A little."

Jenna looked at the mirror again.

Her hand was innocent.

She hated that.

"Again," Rose said.

Jenna turned slowly.

"Come on. That’s the third time."

"The third attempt."

"Exactly."

"Then you have two more chances to make it less terrible."

Jenna narrowed her eyes.

Rose had apparently decided encouragement meant insulting her until she improved.

Annoyingly, it seemed to work.

Jenna lifted the microphone again.

This time, she didn’t try to remember every correction.

She sang.

The moment she thought about her hands, she stopped thinking about them.

Then she caught Adrian’s reflection.

He was sitting near the wall.

His phone was in his hand, but his eyes were on her.

Jenna almost missed the next line.

Was he actually watching?

She glanced at him.

He raised an eyebrow.

That expression.

He was definitely watching.

Great.

Now she had two people to embarrass herself in front of.

She looked away and continued.

The chorus came.

Jenna let herself move with it.

Not because Rose had told her to.

Because staying completely still suddenly felt more unnatural.

Her shoulders moved first.

Then her hand.

She caught herself smiling at the wrong moment and immediately stopped.

Was that weird?

She checked the mirror.

Rose caught her doing it.

"Don’t."

Jenna frowned.

"Don’t what?"

"Check."

Jenna looked away from the mirror.

"I wasn’t checking."

"You were."

"I was looking."

"At yourself."

"Same thing."

Rose shook her head.

Jenna tried not to smile.

That was another annoying thing about Rose.

She was good at this.

Not just the singing part.

The noticing.

Rose could watch Jenna for ten seconds and somehow find the exact thing she’d been trying not to do.

Jenna wasn’t sure whether that was impressive or creepy.

Probably both.

The song continued.

She made it through the next section without stopping.

Then she hit the difficult transition.

Her timing slipped.

Her stomach tightened.

For half a second, she wanted to stop the track.

She didn’t.

She caught the next beat.

Kept going.

When the song ended, she lowered the microphone.

Rose didn’t say anything.

Jenna looked at her.

"What?"

Rose shrugged.

"You recovered."

"I almost didn’t."

"But you did."

Jenna glanced toward Adrian.

He gave a small nod.

That was all.

She looked away.

What was that supposed to mean?

Probably nothing.

Knowing Adrian, it could have meant anything from good job to the song is over.

She decided not to ask.

Rose restarted the track.

Jenna stared at her.

"Seriously?"

"You recovered the difficult part."

"I thought that meant I passed."

"It meant you recovered."

"That’s a very Rose answer."

Rose smiled.

"Sing."

Jenna sighed.

Fine.

She sang again.

This time, the mirror barely registered.

She still noticed herself once.

Her elbow looked awkward.

She fixed it.

Then she forgot about it.

The song opened up, and she followed it instead of trying to remember what Rose had said about performing.

A small mistake came near the middle.

She felt it.

Her first instinct was still to stop.

She didn’t.

By the time she reached the next line, she’d already moved past it.

That felt strangely satisfying.

Not because she’d sung perfectly.

She hadn’t.

But she hadn’t spent the next thirty seconds punishing herself for one bad second.

When the song ended, Jenna pulled the microphone away from her mouth.

Rose was smiling.

"Better."

Jenna breathed out.

"You say that like you’re surprised."

"I am."

Jenna stared at her.

"Wow."

Rose laughed.

Jenna couldn’t help smiling too.

She hated that.

She looked toward Adrian.

He was still watching.

"Was that actually better?"

Adrian nodded.

"Yeah."

That was it.

Jenna waited.

Nothing else came.

"That’s all?"

"You asked if it was better."

She rolled her eyes.

"Forget it."

Rose laughed again.

Jenna set the microphone down.

Her throat was dry. Her legs were starting to feel tired.

She glanced at the clock.

Then at Rose.

"Can we do this tomorrow?"

Rose’s eyebrows lifted.

"Tomorrow?"

"I want to try again."

Rose studied her for a second.

Then nodded.

"Sure."

Jenna reached for her drink.

Maybe Rose really was a good teacher.

That was unfortunate.

She still wasn’t apologizing for the red-haired slut thing.

Not yet.

She took a long drink.

Her stomach growled.

Jenna froze.

Rose looked at her.

Adrian looked at her.

She stared back.

"What?"

Rose smiled.

"Nothing."

Jenna narrowed her eyes.

She knew that smile.

She picked up her drink again.

"Whatever."

She was hungry.

That was a much more important problem.