Chapter 2412 - 2234: Blossoms on the Other Shore

Chapter 2412: Chapter 2234: Blossoms on the Other Shore

If there could be a way to awaken a hint of fear, could the ending take a turn?

I always feel that those leaves fall hurriedly to cover up a big secret, and when I pull those leaves one by one with my hands, all I see is the black road, just like when I squat by the roadside and see a cloud slowly drifting by in the sky. I would foolishly gaze at the sky, wondering what might be revealed when the cloud passes, but behind the cloud remains the unchanged sky, always the blue sky. Similarly, I walk a path different from myself again and again, but ultimately the outcome remains the same, without any change. Finally, one day I thought I should walk a path different from everyone else, which is to prove to my parents that every decision I’ve made in my life is correct, always right.

Often, because of these inexplicable doubts, or perhaps the thoughts brought on by uncertainty, I exhaust myself. I think I’m truly living miserably. People around me always say that I am lonely, but am I really not lonely? Sometimes when I reflect on my actions, have I really lived so joyfully and happily? The things I want I never achieve, not a single friend to play with me, perhaps because from the beginning I lacked my parents’ company, which made them feel I am like an orphan, not worthy to play with them. But you’ll never see the times I love you the most, because only when you can’t see me do I truly love you. When I repeatedly see my parents looking at your photos, I almost want to tear you apart because you brought me all the hurt.

I have thought, if I were a willow standing on a hill, blossoming with clusters of white loneliness in the wind, how wonderful it would be. But I have nothing.

Back then, I naively thought that someday I want to live a truly peaceful life, do a stable and normal job, just find someone to love, marry simply, live in ordinary houses. For me, that is happiness. All I need is to be a good husband, a good father, a good grandson, and that’s enough. I feel holding onto happiness in one’s hands should be simple and transparent, like two large geese flying across the sky in joy. My character is very complicated, others say they know me well, I smile at them—they say I often smile at others. But behind that smile I can only shed tears silently. No one can understand the pain in my heart. Often when I feel sad, before tears can flow, a smile already creeps across my eyes and brows. I only get angry at people I like, and smile at those I don’t like. Until one day I found the results I repeatedly obtained were not what I wanted. Instead, it became a benefit for many around me who wanted to hurt me. At that moment I understood that not all smiles are useful, they may just encourage those who don’t care to hurt me once again because they simply don’t know what I truly want. Deep down to them, I’m just someone who can be easily harmed, someone insignificant, no matter what I do, it’s all unimportant."

Zhang Zhentian said nothing, he just listened silently to his child recounting her experiences, narrating each of her past moments.

Because he knew perhaps nothing he did now would help, he’d rather engage in actual action, listen carefully to his son speaking about all his experiences; perhaps this is a form of caring for his son. All his years of struggle and pain could finally be expressed all at once, how relieved she must feel. He’s been suppressing the harm in his heart for over a decade, now he can finally express it all.

"Do you know, I’ve thought over and over about what I should be doing, but never considered what kind of outcome I’d eventually gain. I thought my life was understated and gloomy; to what extent it was gloomy, none could truly understand nor comprehend what my innermost self was truly like. I repeatedly thought about how I should live, but forgot to consider how far I should live."