Novel Full Chapter 125 Because They Hate Me
"I caught a fever a few days ago," Xiao Nai glumly responded. It was just a simple fever, yet she ended up spending an entire week in the hospital room. She was completely healed, but her parents still wanted her to remain here.
"I'm fine now. Nothing hurts. I want to go home, but they're not letting me." Xiao Nai bitterly said. She remembered calling her parents, asking to go home, but they forced her to stay here instead of taking her home. She knew it was because they loathed her and her big mouth.
"Why not?"
"Because they hate me."
Zhao Lifei was taken back by her words. She looked at the little girl one more time. How could someone else's life resemble hers that much?
"And don't try to convince me otherwise." Xiao Nai sniped, hating the pitiful stares of her peers when she told them the truth. They always tried to comfort her, which made it worse.
Zhao Lifei's eyes softened. Talking to this girl was like talking to a mirror image of herself from the past. She didn't want to push the boundaries, but she also didn't want this girl to suffer the same fate as her. Growing up without your parents' love was pure torture.
"I didn't plan to coerce you into thinking your parents do love you in their own sick and twisted way. My parents also hate me." She leaned back in her chair, thinking back to the day her drunk mother threw a wine glass at her for requesting a bedtime story. The glass broke and a shard had cut her cheek, leaving it a bloodied mess. It took an entire team of doctors and plastic surgeons to ensure a scar didn't form.
Xiao Nai lifted her head. "Really?" She asked, her guard slowly chipping away by the minute.
"Really." Zhao Lifei confirmed.
"Why?"
"Because I wasn't supposed to be born. Because I was an utter disappointment." Zhao Lifei's voice became gentle and quiet as she reminisced about the past.
She remembered the time she asked why her parents treated Linhua differently and it was the first time her father had struck her in the face. He had screamed at her that she didn't know how hard Linhua had it. Because Linhua was so innocent, she was constantly bullied by her cousins. Zhao Moyao didn't acknowledge her presence, her relatives made her a laughing stock, and she was constantly compared to her older sister.
But Zhao Lifei saw it all as foolish excuses. Zhao Linhua could easily become a stronger person, but she was so sheltered by her parents' affection, she didn't learn how to become independent and break out of her perfect shell. Perhaps, that was her biggest flaw.
"Mother and father think I'm a disappointment as well. They think I'm a failure of a daughter because I talk too much." Xiao Nai muttered, a soft frown tugging on her face.
Zhao Lifei looked at the young girl. "It's alright to talk a lot. That doesn't make you a failure. Instead, it helps build your character and improves your conversational skills. Talkative people are easier to approach, but I understand why parents would say that." She stared out the window and watched as the clouds floated across the fading blue sky. Sunset was approaching soon.
"Daughters of high society are supposed to follow that stupid stereotype of being demure, perfect, obedient, and soft-spoken. It's stupid and a very old tradition thinking." She muttered, hating it. These were also the other reasons why her father hated her. In his eyes, she wasn't the "perfect daughter."
Xiao Nai smiled at Zhao Lifei's words. Finally! Someone who shared the same mindset as her!
"My parents were beyond infuriated when they found out I wouldn't fit that description. I picked business over the piano, pen over brush, and guns over flutes. Everything I did was the polar opposite of what they wanted." Zhao Lifei bitterly thought back to the day her father threw his teacup at her when she declared she wasn't majoring in the arts, but business instead.
She had narrowly dodged the teacup, but he was in such a fit of rage that he rushed to her and smacked her senseless. The resulting bruise was so bad, she had to stay home for an entire week. She had completely missed her Harvard orientation, but that didn't mean she wasn't daring enough to sneak out of the house and board the private jet to go overseas.
"Did I care what I thought about their stereotypes? No. I packed my bags and left to chase after my dreams." She turned to Xiao Nai, whose face was like an open book now. The girl wanted to do the same.
"But, I only did it when I was a grown adult legal enough to make my own choices. My plan wasn't perfect nor did it work in pleasing my parents, but then again, why should I continue to please them when they were never parents to me in the first place?" She thought back to the desolate and empty Zhao mansion. She thought back to the empty dining room, the quietness of the haunting mansion filled with rooms but not enough people to fill them. She thought back to all the nights she cried herself to sleep, begging her parents for the same treatment that Linhua received.
"Xiao Nai, right now, you're too young. Don't even think about running away like I did. Instead, focus on improving the mask you wear around them." This got Xiao Nai very curious. Improve her mask?
Zhao Lifei smiled. "From experience, constantly arguing with my parents didn't work out. As a matter of fact, nothing did. But, pretending to go along with their plans did work out. Do the things you want, just not in front of them. When you're angered by their words, don't lash out. Instead, remain quiet and pretend to listen, even if you have to daydream." She figured that if Xiao Nai was really like her as a child, then these were the best plans she could use for herself.
"I always have this motto, fake it until you make it." She turned to Xiao Nai, a smile on her face.
"You're a smart girl, I'm sure you know what I'm implying?" Zhao Lifei didn't want to deliberately tell the little girl everything that she should do. She wanted her to figure it out herself so that she can learn to determine her own path, but in the end, Lifei still wanted the girl to have somewhere to start off from and, thus, gave her this tiny ounce of knowledge.
For once, Xiao Nai's eyes brightened. Her eyes danced with curiosity as endless ideas came into mind. Fake it until I make it! Why didn't I think of that sooner?!
She excitedly turned towards Zhao Lifei, a happy grin on her face. "Yes, I do!" She gleefully said, her eyes shining as bright as the stars, revealing the beautiful hazel color of her eyes. It was warm like a freshly steamed chestnut and brought back the life in it.
Zhao Lifei's smile grew wider at her enthusiasm. "Good. You should always keep that in mind." She looked out the window and saw the sun had long since set. It was time for her to go back to her room.
Xiao Nai followed her gaze and saw it was night time. "Do you have to go now? But it's so soon." She mumbled the last part of her words. She didn't think talking to an adult would be so fun to the point where time flew by before she knew it.
Zhao Lifei nodded, standing up. "Yes, I have to return back to my room or else my peers will worry about me."
"Oh…" Xiao Nai pouted, her eyes became crestfallen as her shoulders sagged in disappointment.
Zhao Lifei's face softened upon seeing her unhappy expression. She warmly placed a hand on the child's head, gently rubbing the top. "I'll be back tomorrow." She said to the child, which made XIao Nai quickly raise her head.
"Really?" She asked, revealing this childish side of her. Children always sought after confirmations, even if they were false ones.
"Yes, really."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Pinky promise?" Xiao Nai stuck out her pinky, which made Zhao Lifei let out a burst of light laughter.
"Pinky promise."