Chapter 182: Regret

Kairo:

I couldn’t understand why she had chosen that particular gown. Of all the dresses in her wardrobe, why this one?

I wanted to believe it meant something. I wanted to believe that perhaps she hadn’t forgotten everything that had happened between us, that somewhere beneath the anger and disappointment, there was still a part of her that remembered the way we had been before I ruined it. Maybe she didn’t hate me as much as I thought she did. Maybe this was a coincidence. Maybe I was a pathetic fool looking for hope in a dress because the alternative was admitting that I had destroyed my own chance with her.

The last possibility was undoubtedly the correct one. Still, my heart clung to the first with the desperation of a man who had already lost too much.

I glanced toward Reign and immediately wanted to punch him in the face. It was an irrational impulse, considering he had done nothing more than confess about his bond, but lately everything about him irritated me. Perhaps it was the way he still didn’t treat Elara right, or perhaps I simply needed someone else to blame for the mess I had created. Either way, Reign’s face was beginning to look remarkably punchable. Unfortunately, the person I was truly angry with was myself.

I could still remember the evening I had seen Elara walking down the corridor and made the decision that had changed everything between us. At the time, I had convinced myself it was the best thing to do. I thought I was protecting her by ending whatever expectations she might have developed since we didn’t have a possibility between us.

I thought that if she saw me kissing someone else, she would understand that whatever had happened between us that night in the library was nothing more than a mistake, and she would move on before I could hurt her further. So when I saw her approaching, I kissed Aria. Deliberately. Cruelly. Right where Elara could see us.

I could still remember the exact expression on her face when she realized what she was looking at. The shock. The hurt. The way something in her eyes seemed to close before she turned away. That look haunted me more often than I cared to admit.

If I could go back, I would find another way to create distance between us. Anything would have been better than making her believe she had been disposable to me. Perhaps I would even ignore Reign’s admission of the bond entirely, although I wasn’t sure about that.

Whatever the case, the damage was done. Elara had blocked my number, stopped allowing me close, and moved on with her life while I remained stuck in the moment I had watched her walk away. Now she stood across a crowded ballroom wearing the gown I had created, looking more beautiful than I’d ever seen her, and I couldn’t decide whether the sight was a gift or another punishment.

She turned toward Selene Valemont, offering the hostess a polite smile as the women around her began greeting her. Her expression was composed, her posture graceful, and there wasn’t a single indication that she had noticed the effect she was having on the room. Or perhaps she had noticed everything and simply didn’t care. That possibility sounded far more like Elara.

I lifted my empty glass and signaled for another, never taking my eyes off her for long. I wanted to approach her. I wanted to ask why she had chosen the gown. I wanted to tell her that she looked beautiful, that every detail had been made by my own hands. Most of all, I wanted to apologize.

But wanting something had never been the same as deserving it. And as Elara laughed softly at something Mrs. Ravenshade said, I realized I was going to have to watch her from a distance tonight, just as I had forced her to watch me with another woman.

Perhaps that was what I deserved.

I watched her from across the ballroom, my untouched second glass of wine forgotten in my hand, and found myself growing increasingly impressed with every passing minute.

Elara was doing remarkably well for someone who had spent most of her life outside Starfall’s suffocating world of noble families and political games. She smiled at precisely the right people, offering warmth without familiarity and respect without submission. Her conversations were polite but never excessively sweet, her answers thoughtful without revealing more than necessary, and she moved through the crowd with a quiet confidence that made people instinctively turn toward her.

Jasper remained at her side, serving as both her plus-one and her guide, occasionally leaning closer to explain someone’s identity or whisper a useful detail. She listened, nodded, and adjusted without ever appearing uncertain.

I was surprised - not because I’d doubted her ability to handle herself, but because I knew how much she despised everything this ballroom represented. Elara hated being treated like a political asset. She hated the expectations attached to her title and the idea that people might believe a crown gave them ownership over her choices. Yet tonight, she was playing the game without allowing it to play her. And, damn it, she was good at it.

Eventually, Selene Valemont stepped toward the center of the ballroom and called for everyone’s attention. The conversations gradually faded as she announced the official introduction of Princess Eleanora Argentis, the lost Crown Princess of Starfall, whose return had brought hope and renewed significance to the royal family. Her words were polished, her smile practiced, and I suspected she was enjoying the opportunity to present Elara before the realm’s most influential families. Then Selene turned toward her and invited her to say a few words.

Elara’s fingers briefly brushed Jasper’s arm before she stepped forward. She didn’t rush to fill the silence. Instead, she looked around the room, meeting several gazes before offering a composed smile. "Thank you, Lady Valemont, and thank you all for welcoming me tonight. For most of my life, I knew nothing of Starfall, its traditions, or the responsibilities attached to my name. My return has been an education in more ways than one, and I know I still have much to learn."

She paused for a perfectly measured moment before continuing, "But I hope you will allow me to learn by meeting you as people, not merely as titles or Houses. I may be new to this world, but I understand the value of trust, the weight of responsibility, and the importance of earning respect rather than simply expecting it because of one’s birth." Her smile softened, never losing its quiet strength. "I look forward to knowing Starfall better, and to finding ways in which I can contribute to its future alongside those who care about it." She inclined her head, neither bowing too deeply nor holding herself above the room. "Thank you for giving me the opportunity to begin."

For one breath, the ballroom remained silent. Then applause spread through the gathering, measured at first before growing warmer.

Elara had done it. She had acknowledged her inexperience without making herself appear weak, claimed her place without threatening anyone, and reminded every person present that her title was not the only thing she brought to the table.

I stared at her, pride and regret tangling painfully inside my chest. The girl I had hurt was standing before Starfall’s elite, proving she didn’t need anyone to make her formidable. And somehow, that only made me wish more desperately that I hadn’t been the fool who taught her to stop trusting me.