Chapter 179: Complicated Feelings

Elara:

I shot him a look. "Perhaps your partner has excellent reasons for wanting to escape."

Lorien’s mouth twitched, but he didn’t comment. Instead, he guided me into the rhythm, patiently explaining each step and correcting my movements without making me feel clumsy.

Unfortunately, he was an excellent teacher. He led with effortless precision, adjusting his pace whenever I stumbled and guiding me through each turn until my feet began to follow the music without requiring a full committee meeting inside my head. I could appreciate his skill. I really could. I just wished he wasn’t so close while demonstrating it.

The music filled the ballroom, soft and measured, while Lorien guided me through another turn. I tried to concentrate on his instructions, on the rhythm, on the placement of my feet - anything except the man holding me. It was useless.

Every time he leaned closer to explain a movement, his voice brushed my ear, and I became painfully aware of the warmth of his hand against my waist. Whenever I looked up, I found his blue eyes already on me, watching with an intensity that made me wonder whether he was teaching me to dance or testing how long I could maintain my composure.

His lips seemed far too close whenever he lowered his head to whisper another instruction, and each time I caught myself looking at them, I immediately redirected my gaze toward the nearest chandelier.

I kept telling myself how I was not going to think about kissing him. I was not going to remember the way his mouth had felt against mine. And I was absolutely not going to acknowledge the heat coiling deep inside me, an unwelcome, embarrassing awareness that made my skin feel too warm beneath my dress.

I hated it. I hated how easily he could make me nervous without even doing anything particularly improper. I hated that a part of me remembered that night with a clarity I would have preferred to lose. Most of all, I hated that, despite everything, my body seemed determined to notice every little thing about him.

"Relax your shoulders," he murmured, drawing me through another turn. "You are holding yourself as though you are preparing for combat."

"Perhaps I would prefer combat," I muttered more to myself. "At least then I would know what to do with my hands."

A quiet laugh escaped him, and I felt it more than heard it because we were still standing far too close. "You are doing well, Starlight."

I refused to look at him. "Your standards must be terribly low."

He continued watching me with those eyes of his that were doing something unexplainable to my brain. Desperately needing a distraction, I asked, "What’s with the nickname?"

He tilted his head a little. "It suits you."

He said nothing more, but somehow his silence made everything worse. The music continued, carrying us across the polished floor while the space between us seemed to grow heavier with every passing second.

I could feel myself losing the battle to remain unaffected, and the most infuriating part was that Lorien appeared perfectly composed. He never stumbled, never hesitated, never gave me any indication that he was struggling with the proximity at all.

Perhaps he truly was unaffected. Perhaps he never cared about that night enough to keep thinking about it. Perhaps I was the only fool remembering that night in his car and wondering what might happen if we were alone together again without alcohol, without moon orchid, without any excuse to blame for what passed between us.

The thought sent another wave of heat rushing through me, and I nearly stepped on his foot. Lorien caught the mistake effortlessly, guiding me back into position with a small adjustment of his hand.

"Careful," he whispered. "I would hate for you to injure yourself during your first lesson."

I finally looked up at him, narrowing my eyes. His expression was perfectly innocent, but there was something in his gaze that made me suspicious.

He knew exactly how close he was standing. He knew how easily his voice unsettled me. And if the faintest hint of amusement in his eyes meant anything, he was enjoying every second of my discomfort.

I was going to murder him. I hadn’t decided how yet, but I was certain I could make it look like an unfortunate ballroom accident.

Just when I thought I couldn’t endure another minute of being held in his arms, the music finally came to an end. I had never been so grateful for a song to finish in my entire life.

Lorien stopped with perfect timing and stepped back, releasing my hand and allowing the distance between us to return. And I immediately felt as though I could breathe again.

He offered me a polite smile, the sort of composed, perfectly respectable expression that would have convinced anyone watching that we had just completed an entirely ordinary dance lesson.

"That concludes today’s lesson, Princess. You did very well."

He didn’t sound like he was saying that just to save my face. Besides, by now I knew Lorien Moonveil wasn’t the kind of person who lied just for the sake of keeping someone’s fragile ego from hurting, and I definitely wasn’t an exception.

I returned his smile with what I hoped was an equally respectable expression, although I suspected my cheeks were still betraying me. "Wonderful. I look forward to learning from someone else tomorrow."

His eyebrows lifted slightly. "I’m afraid you’ll have to endure me for a little longer."

Of course I would. Because apparently, even the universe had a personal grudge against me.

I turned away before he could see the full extent of my frustration, silently cursing him, his perfect dancing, his infuriatingly calm voice, and those knowing blue eyes that suggested he understood exactly what he was doing to me.

The worst part? I had absolutely no idea what to do about these complicated feelings that seemed to have only gotten stronger between us when I was hoping for them to dull down if not outright disappear.

Didn’t he want to keep distance from me? Then why he seemed to have other intentions now?