Chapter 113: A Regret So Deep (II)

Lorien:

Elara’s beautiful beyond words. She’s fiery, resilient, strong, intelligent, compassionate, stubborn, unpredictable, courageous, and infuriating.

And, despite everything, unbearably cute.

I had tried telling myself that what I felt for her was merely attraction. It would have been easier that way. Attraction could be ignored. It could be controlled. And most importantly, it could disappear if given enough distance and time. But somewhere along the way, something had changed. Somewhere between our arguments, her reluctant smiles, the time spent teaching her, the moments when I caught her looking at me with those silver eyes, and the day I realized just how deeply I wanted her to be safe, attraction had quietly become something far more dangerous.

I was falling for her. And I had known for some time that I was.

That realization still frightened me.

My steps slowed as an old memory surfaced, one I had spent weeks trying not to revisit. Rain. Argentis mansion. Her silver eyes looking into mine. The warmth of her lips beneath mine. The moment I had lost every ounce of control I had spent years cultivating. I could still remember the way she had kissed me back, the way the world had seemed to disappear around us, and the horrifying clarity that had followed when I realized what I was doing.

I had panicked. I had called it a mistake. And then, like the coward I had been, I had left her standing there in the rain.

I had never regretted kissing her. Not for a single second. But I did regret hurting her. That was the part I wished I could erase.

If I had kept my control that night, perhaps things would have been different. Perhaps we could still have been friends. Perhaps she would still look at me without that subtle distance that had appeared between us afterward. Perhaps she would still willingly seek me out, sit beside me, argue with me, and smile at me the way she had before. Instead, she now seemed determined to spend as little time in my company as possible.

She remained polite because she was not cruel, but politeness was all that remained between us. Whenever she could leave a room before I arrived, she did. Whenever our paths crossed, she became careful. And whenever I found myself wanting to speak to her, I remembered the hurt in her eyes that night and lost the courage to approach her.

I hated the distance.

But I had created it. And there was nothing I could do to undo it.

More importantly, there was nothing I could do about the reason that had caused it in the first place. Because no matter how deeply I wanted Elara, no matter how strongly every instinct inside me pulled toward her, I knew the truth.

I was not the one for her.

The thought was painful enough that I had to look away from the snow-covered path ahead.

Us being together would be nothing but a tragedy.

Our relationship was forbidden before either of us had even acknowledged what existed between us. I was her headmaster. She was my student. That alone should have been enough to make me keep my distance, regardless of what my heart wanted. But even if that boundary somehow disappeared, there were greater obstacles waiting behind it.

Elara was the last living descendant of the Argentis royal bloodline, the Lost Moon Princess, and the future Crown Princess of Starfall. And I was the last living descendant of Moonveil bloodline. We both belonged to the two bloodlines that had already spent centuries tangled in history, suspicion, politics, and tragedy.

And then there was the matter of power.

Elara might currently be powerless, her magic sealed and her return still unknown to most of the kingdom, but that would not last forever. The day her powers returned and the day Starfall accepted her as its Crown Princess, everything would change. Her marriage would no longer be a private decision. Whoever stood beside her would become the man connected to the royal throne, the person with access to the influence and authority that came with her crown.

And if that man was me, the consequences would be disastrous. The royal power of Starfall would effectively flow into the Moonveil house, joining two ancient bloodlines under one name. None of the other Regents would allow that to happen willingly. Neither would the noble families who had spent decades building their influence around the current balance of power.

And I couldn’t even blame them. If I were in their position, I would see the threat too.

The irony was that I had spent most of my life trying to avoid power. Despite being a Regent and the last Moonveil heir, I had deliberately kept myself away from political games. I had never fought for territory, influence, or authority. I had no interest in building alliances or gathering supporters. I had wanted a quiet existence, a position where I could protect the academy, teach my students, and preserve whatever remained of my family’s legacy without becoming consumed by the endless struggle for control.

For years, I had considered that decision wisdom. But tonight, for the first time, I wondered if it had been a mistake.

Because if I had built power earlier, perhaps I wouldn’t be standing here now knowing that the person I cared about might eventually need protection from the very people who ruled this kingdom.

Elara and I were not strong enough to stand against the four Regents. Not yet. And certainly not against the noble families backing them.

My fingers curled slowly at my sides as the thought settled into something harder.

There was only one solution left.

I needed to become strong enough to protect her. Not because I intended to claim her. Not because I wanted the throne or the influence that would come with her. And certainly not because I believed she belonged to me.

But because I couldn’t stand by and watch the woman I liked become another piece on a political board.

I needed power. Real power. Enough that even the Regents would have to think twice before touching her. Enough that the noble families couldn’t simply decide her future for her. Enough that when the day came for Elara to reclaim her crown, she would have someone standing beside her who could withstand whatever followed.

The problem was that gaining that kind of power would take time. And time was the one thing I wasn’t certain we had.

By the time I became strong enough to protect her, it might already be too late.