Chapter 69: If I kiss you now...

Della." He called out.

She was still bent over the edge, one hand braced against the stone as another wave of retching shook her body.

"Della."

"I’m..." She wiped the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand, embarrassed. "...I’m alright."

"No, you’re not."

"I’m fine."

"You just emptied your stomach to the floor."

"The floor didn’t deserve that."

Despite everything, the muttered apology made the corner of Cassian’s mouth twitch, "You can still joke?"

"I’d rather laugh than cry."

Cassian deliberately turned his back to her, trying to see that the little incident that happened last time doesn’t repeat itself, "I’ll stay facing this way."

She blinked.

"You can come out whenever you’re ready."

Only then did she realize she was still waist-deep in the spring, "...Thank you."

A few minutes later she stepped quietly onto the stone path, wrapped in the clean robe he’d left nearby. Steam still curled around her damp hair, tiny droplets rolling down the strands.

She looked...better.

Until she swayed.

Cassian caught her elbow before she hit the ground, "There." He said.

"I’m sorry."

"Stop apologising."

"Okay."

"You apologize far too much." He sighed, releasing her only after he was sure she was steady, "Sit."

She obeyed without argument, lowering herself onto one of the smooth rocks surrounding the spring.

"I’ll be back."

Before she could ask where he was going, he’d disappeared into the darkness.

He returned only a few minutes later carrying a wooden tray, and the smell coming from the tray reached Della he did.

Fresh bread.

Roasted chicken.

Sliced pears.

Apples.

Grapes.

Warm broth.

Honeyed tea.

She swallowed, her mouth already watering. The moment Cassian stopped in front of her, her stomach growled so loudly that both of them heard it, and her face turned red.

Cassian failed to hide his teasing smile.

"Hungry?"

She pressed a hand to her stomach, clearing her throat as though that would erase what just happened, "Did you raid the kitchen?"

"Yeah,"

"Why?"

"Unless there’s another starving woman hiding behind that tree." He sounded very sarcastic, and she felt embarrassed again.

Then, he set the tray between them, "Eat."

"I..."

"Della."

"I’m not very hungry."

He simply looked at her, and her stomach chose that moment to make an even louder growl than before.

Her ears turned pink.

"Eat or else I’ll shove it down your throat," Now it sounded more like a threat.

Slowly, she reached for a piece of bread.

Then another.

Then the chicken.

Within moments she’d completely forgotten he was even there. She tore into the food with surprising speed, barely pausing between bites.

The bread disappeared, then the fruits were gone too.

The broth.

Half the chicken.

"You’ve been eating like this recently?" Cassian asked, surprised as he watched her continue to finish everything on the tray.

She paused only long enough to swallow, "No."

"When was your last proper meal?"

"A few days ago,"

Cassian’s expression darkened.

"There was...a lot happening."

He handed her another pear, and she accepted it automatically.

"Della."

"Hm?"

"When did the dizziness begin?"

"A little while ago." She took another bite.

"A week?"

"...Maybe."

"Longer?"

"I don’t know."

He nodded slowly, "And the nausea?"

"I’ve always had a weak stomach."

"Have you?"

"Strong smells make me sick."

He looked toward the tray, and said, "The broth didn’t."

"No..." She frowned.

"The chicken?"

She looked at the empty plate, "No."

"The flowers?"

She looked toward the direction of the garden, and smiled, "They smelled lovely."

"What exactly made you sick?"

She thought about it, "I..." Her brows slowly knitted together, "I don’t actually know."

Another silence settled between them, then Cassian reached for an apple but didn’t eat it, "Della." He whispered again.

"Hm?"

"Have you had a fever?"

"A little."

"Headaches?"

"Almost every day."

"...Cold?"

"I’ve been freezing."

"Even in the sun?"

"Especially in the mornings." She replied.

His fingers tightened around the apple, "...Anything else?"

She tilted her head, thinking of everything that has been happening to her these past few days, "I’m tired."

"Understandably."

"No." She looked confused herself, "I mean...i’m tired all the time."

Cassian looked away toward the moonlit trees, and his thoughts raced faster than before.

No.

Surely not.

"Della."

She looked at him again.

"If I asked you something strange..."

She tilted her head, "I don’t understand,"

She wondered why he suddenly looked so serious?!

"Has your monthly cycle..." He stopped himself. No, she’d only grow frightened. He’d have to wait to make sure she wasn’t just getting jitters because of tomorrow, "Never mind."

She stared curiously, "You’ve been acting strange tonight."

"So have you."

She grinned at him this time, and the seriousness in his eyes vanished, replaced once again by the soft humour.

They sat down next to each other quietly, gazing at everything around them. Every now and then, Cassian would glanced at her face, and the laughter in his eyes would fade.

Time went by unnoticed, and Cassian decided it was time to head back. She needed to get some rest, for it was going to be a long day for her tomorrow.

"I should take you back." He said and stood up.

She didn’t argue and also stood up, "Thank you,"

"You’ve thanked me seven times."

"I have?"

"You have."

"I’ll make it eight."

"I regret feeding you." He sighed dramatically.

"You don’t."

"I don’t." He grinned again.

They began walking slowly back toward the castle.

Della seemed steadier now, though every now and then Cassian noticed her fingers brushing absentmindedly against her stomach.

Not in pain.

Almost...protectively.

His chest tightened.

Moon Goddess...

Please don’t let me be right.

They walked into the castle, moving silently, till they got to the intersection where they were supposed to part.

She faced him, and smiled, "Thank you so much for tonight,"

"There." He smiled, "Nine."

She laughed again, then she bowed and turned to leave.

"Little servant."

She turned, "Yes?"

Moonlight caught the droplets still clinging to her damp hair. For just a heartbeat...Cassian forgot how to breathe.

He took one step closer, and she looked at him curiously.

He took another step, and she still didn’t move. Only watched him with those quiet, trusting eyes.

He reached up slowly toward her face, and ran his fingers down the damp strand of hair that had fallen across it.

He gently tucked it behind her ear, and a sensation ran down her body from his touch, making her stiffen a little.

She looked into his eyes, his silver eyes, which were already locked unto hers. Something she couldn’t define flickered in his eyes — or maybe she could define it but was too afraid to admit it to herself.

From her ear, his palm slid to her cheeks and gently cupped it, his thumb stroking her skin tenderly.

"What are you—"

She didn’t finish, because now his thumb was running along the skin of her lips, caressing it softly.

Stealing her breath.

"Let me ask you something, little servant," He leaned closer, so close his eyes now resembled molten silver. So close his breath fanned her cheeks, "If I kiss you now... will you hate me tomorrow?"