Chapter 156: Sleep, Lian

Della could carry all of the world’s hate inside of her, and there would still be so much space left for more.

Hate was the one thing that kept her going, along with the crushing need for revenge.

She had stood outside the Hall of Ashes, watching through the slightly ajar large oak doors of the room.

She’d heard everything from start to finish, including the ones she didn’t know.

She’d been there when Cassian and the guards had stormed out to go and look for her. It’s crazy how powerful she was now — how terrifying her powers were when an Alpha like Cassian couldn’t even sense her presence, too, while she had stood behind the doors and watched them running.

With these powers, she would make them all pay.

Della stood by the edge of a small cliff under the Moonlight, a shovel in both hands as she dug out a wide hole that was at least six feet deep.

The sound of metal hitting sand and stone was the only sound in the night, along with the frequent dripping of tears that were instantly being swallowed by the sand.

Once she was done digging through, she brought Lian’s body and gently placed it properly into the hole. She kissed him once on the forehead, wiped off the rotten, black blood from both corners of his lips, before she started to return the sand back into the hole.

She’d been late.

The moment Beatrice had admitted that she knew where Lian’s room was and had changed his medicine, she had run down to his chambers.

And of course, he was already dead.

She had found him on the floor, lying on his stomach in a pool of black, rotten blood with one hand stretched out in front of him in desperation. It was quite obvious that there was no one around when it had happened, and he had tried to crawl to the door himself.

Died before he made it.

The thought of it alone had her arms shaking again. She could still feel the coldness of his body. She could only imagine how hard and how many times he had called her name till the moment his strength had failed him, and only the Moon Goddess knew the tremendous pain that poison had subjected him to... before it had finally taken his life.

Because Beatrice isn’t the type of woman that lets anyone she targets off with an easy death.

Della’s eyes never changed.

Her face was still pale, and her eyes were still empty. She was grieving three deaths at the same time. Deaths of three people who had meant everything to her, and others had taken their lives simply...to punish her, and for their own personal happiness.

Annelise never did anything wrong by helping her. She’d told her many times that this path was her voice, but Della would be damned if she said she didn’t blame herself every second for her death.

She could still see the pain in her eyes.

The way her body had gone still.

Her cub has been innocent.

Killed because of jealousy and hatred. How did she ever think she could protect that beautiful creature of hers when she couldn’t even protect herself? And she could still feel it too.

The moment Selene’s claws sank into its head and ripped out the life it had been clinging to.

And Lian...

She had been the one who had revealed his location to Beatrice. If only she hadn’t suggested going to see him that night and had simply escaped, then that boy would still be alive.

The mouth of her shovel carried more sand, and then she threw it down into the hole. This one hit Lian’s face, covering the whole thing immediately.

Her breath began to tremble.

She began to grit her teeth.

Asteria was quiet inside of her.

She paused for a few moments to compose herself again. She waited for a very long time, and still, she wouldn’t stop shaking. In the end, she continued to cover him up like that.

Till there was now a small grave by the cliffside.

Then, she found a small stone, big enough to be a tombstone, and she carved out his name with his claws into the surface and pressed it into the sand till it was sitting there properly.

Afterwards, she picked up the flowers she had gathered on her way here and placed them by the side of the grave. She swallowed tightly as she stood there staring at him.

Her mouth had no taste, but if it did, she knew it would be bitter and disgusting.

She sat down next to it, and her fingers slowly brushed over the letters, "You were supposed to live a normal life." The words came out so quietly that the wind almost swallowed them, "You were supposed to complain about the medicine. You were supposed to get angry when I told you to rest. You were supposed to become annoying enough that I’d eventually threaten to throw you out of my room." Her lips moved into the smallest smile, but it was gone just as quickly.

"I had so many things left to say to you." Her fingers rested against the cold stone, "With you, I was at peace. But I don’t even know what peace is anymore."

Silence carried for a while, then she lowered her head, "I’m sorry, Lian." Her voice remained strangely steady, "I promised I’d protect you, and I failed," The wind moved through her hair but it didn’t carry it along, then her eyes slowly lifted toward the darkness beyond the grave, "I don’t know what I’m becoming, Lian. And honestly..." Her fingers tightened around the tombstone, "I don’t think I want to be the woman I used to be anymore."

A long silence followed, and by the time it was over she had risen and was staring right in front of her. To the endless expanse beyond the cliff, then she whispered, "Sleep, Lian."

Her expression became completely empty again, "I’ll carry the part of you that was kind." She then turned around and shattered and started to walk away, "And I’ll become everything they were afraid I could be."