Chapter 92 - 89

Ocean Song was many things.

Smart, accomplished, beautiful, powerful, smart.

But he was also very smart.

Many people may have thought that he stole his father’s golden toilet for petty or infantile reasons. And while they may be correct, they were not correct. Because, now, he can truly say that he planned things out because they finished in his favor.

Like a proper cultivator.

Every proper cultivator knows how to plan for the future, scheme, and loot goblin to make use of their hoarding habits at a later time and look prepared in the eyes of others.

’Oh, you need a secret, ancient, lost key to enter that secret realm? What’s this I just so happen to have with me!?’

Yes, it was all planned.

He now made new friends, he allies, and he even planned for the future!

They were going to build him an army of automatons. The perfect weapons to use in case of a war! They liked making robots; he liked robots; it was a perfect fit.

Maybe he could send Fellow Daoist Daedalus here to learn from their ways. Daedalus also walked the path of puppetry. As well as farming, formations, artifact refinement, alchemy...in fact, Ocean Song realized that Daedalus walked almost every path.

Truly, it was the perfect worker to push all annoying work off onto

Rick the Telekhine was very nice.

Ocean Song had joined them for dinner. It wasn’t even a strange meal or some dubious source of meat of the human variety. In fact, it was mostly vegetables; they apparently had a vegetable garden a bit further outside of the junkyard out back.

"And then I went to the cheese eating contest and won second place. And then I went and tasted all the cheese in the cheese sampling tent. And then I went to—" Rick, the Telekhine, just rattled off about the day he spent at the festival.

His brothers, who obviously didn’t care, were humoring him and asking him about it.

Ocean Song recognized that Rick here was probably the youngest of their family, so they were used to doting on and taking care of him. Even if they didn’t share the same interest, they didn’t want him to feel excluded by his hobby.

"-- And then I went to the petting zoo."

Ocean Song, who was only half paying attention, suddenly snapped to focus.

Since when did they have a petting zoo!?

He felt like he missed a great opportunity!

"-- and when I was going to go find the bathroom, someone threw a cheese wheel at me. That’s when I met my new friend!" Rick smiled. "And then I brought him here!"

Truly, he reminded Ocean Song of Tyson.

The kind of person you couldn’t help but dote on.

It was a good day. He went to the festival, he came back to a friend’s home, and he watched two robots fight to the death.

It was rare for—

"Oh shit!" Ocean Song jumped to his feet, slamming his hands on the table. "I forgot what I came here to do!"

Everyone at the table stopped to stare at him.

"Ahem." Ocean Song cleared his throat. "I apologize for the outburst. I suddenly remembered an important matter. Do any of you happen to know where the Cheese God is?"

They all shared a look.

"There’s a Cheese God?" Berry asked.

That answered pretty much all the questions he had.

"Thank you for your hospitality; I need to go. I’ll check back in later on the commission, bye!" Ocean Song, very briskly, walked out the door at a quick pace that wasn’t running.

He jumped into the air, landing on his sword, and flew off. "I didn’t forget! It was a tactical misdirection! Yes, clearly I was making sure I wasn’t being surveyed!"

Yes, he quickly went back to the mission.

He flew at frightening speeds to...nowhere. He circled the state a few times, randomly scanning places with his Divine Sense, but he found nothing.

"I’ve tried nothing, and I’m out of ideas!" He declared.

There was only one last option available to him.

He flew back to the ground and threw down an altar of Styx, calling his boss for help. "Great Goddess, I don’t know where the Cheese God is; can you help me?"

There wasn’t a response on the other end, but the altar trembled and then spat out a small hand mirror.

Ocean Song curiously opened it up to see at the edge of it, there was a red dot.

"Thank you, Goddess!"

This would make things much more convenient!

[Line Break]

Deep in south Texas, under the scorching heat, a plume of black liquid shot up to the sky.

"Get it!" A man, drenched in oil, his overalls torn, roared as another group of men jumped up onto the platform he was on to help him turn a mechanism.

"Travis! Diego! Pull left, left!" He shouted again as they all worked together to push a giant metal piece back into place, and the billowing fountain of oil began to subside.

As soon as it locked into place and the oil stopped completely, they all collapsed onto the ground, soaked from head to toe in the black gooey substance.

"Good work, boys." He went around, patting them on the shoulders as they all caught their breaths. "Take a break. We’ll check the pumps on the front side after."

He walked off the platform, wiping his face that was mixed with sweat and oil. There was a makeshift building to the side, built up with the flimsiest materials, but it at least had fans running inside and made for their workplace break room.

Out in the scorching Texas desert, working on an oil rig, it was the best they could get.

Before he went in, he grabbed a hose, watering himself off so he at least wasn’t dripping with the oily goop even if he was still all but covered head to toe in the remnants.

The door swung open as another worker came out, greeting him. "Morning Stan."

The man nodded back. "Morning, Craig."

Stan the rig supervisor.

He had messy blood hair—normally. Even if it was dead black at this point from the mess. He had an average build, but years of working hard labor had refined his physique enough that his muscles were predominant.

Overall, he still retained a rather soft face despite the messy and stoic appearance.

It was a hard life, a hard job, decent money, but plenty of work. There were months where he worked from dawn to midnight, only to get a few hours of sleep and right back at it the next day. Then there were months where he didn’t work at all.

It wasn’t perfect, but Stan found his own happiness here.

And no one would ever suspect that the messy, oil-covered, tired, and weathered man was actually a god.

He went into the makeshift office, the cool fans blowing on his face as he took his hard hat off and went into the makeshift kitchen.

They at least had a full fridge, a sink, and an oven hooked up, which was better than nothing. He got his lunchbox out of the fridge and began to set things out before opening one of the top cupboards to grab some paper plates.

He froze because someone was staring back at him.

"I found you, Fellow Daoist."

"What the fuck—"

Ocean Song leapt out of the cupboard, tackling him. "Did you think you could escape, Cheese God!? I will end your reign of terror here and now!"

"Who the hell are you!? Get off of me!" He tried to push Ocean Song off of him, but to no avail.

"Take your beating!" Ocean Song shouted, smacking him with the stick of righteousness and repentance.

The God found himself actually in pain as he started shouting. "Stop hitting me!"

"This is what you get for breaking your oath!" He didn’t relent, hitting the God curled up in a fetal position. "This is what you get for making me wait 3 hours in that cramped space to get the jump on you! Do you have any idea how stiff my neck is!?" He continued to smack the Cheese God. "And this is for daring to use cheese for evil!"

"Stop!" He began to cry. "I don’t know what you’re talking about! Did Matton send you!? I told him I had the money to pay him back, but I couldn’t find him!"

Ocean Song stopped. "Excuse me, Fellow Daoist. Do you think I am a mere hitman hired to mug you!?"

The god looked up at him, a bruised face, feeling confused and hurting because his godly power wasn’t answering him.

"Daring to confuse me with some low-life scum! That’s going to be another paddling’, Fellow Daoist!" Ocean Song slapped his stick of repentance into the palm of his hand. "I’ll have you know that I am a righteous bringer of justice on the behest of the River Styx to break the legs of anyone who breaks their sacred vow!"

He pointed his stick at the god.

"While I understand how you may be confused, as both instances would have had your legs broken, rest assured, I am doing so with righteous intentions." He nodded to himself.

It was important to clarify the reasoning for his beating.

"I didn’t mean to break my oath!" He panicked because he understood now why he was getting beaten up. He had heard about what happened to another god that broke their oath to the River Styx.

"Lying is another paddling." O’Ceán Song raised his stick.

"No! I’m telling the truth! I really didn’t! It’s not my fault!" He held his hands up to shield himself for the hit that didn’t come.

"Hmm." Ocean Song rubbed his chin. "I am the bringer of righteous leg breaking; therefore, I shall hear you out. But be warned, if you are lying, your beating will be much more thorough."

The other god let out a breath after calming down. He still didn’t know why he couldn’t use his godly power; it terrified him, but he was also in a position where he had no time to think about it.

"I..... I was blackmailed into paying another god some money. I swore an oath that I would pay; I had the money to pay him, but on the day of the payment that came, he disappeared, and I couldn’t pay in time! He came back the next day laughing at me, saying I broke my oath and he wanted to see what would happen." He quickly explained.

Ocean Song frowned at this explanation.

Because from the sounds of it, he was indeed telling the truth. While he technically broke his oath, depending on the wording, it sounds like he upheld the spirit of it and tried to adhere to it.

Yet, there was no wiggle room for Oath Breakers.

"Who is this ’Matton,’ you speak of?"

"Matton...The God of Dough." He answered.

"...Fellow Daoist, I feel like you’re lying to me."

"No! I’m not! He’s the God of kneading dough and bread!"

"Hold that thought." Ocean Song put up a finger, and he set down an alter. "Um...Dear? Are you there?"

The altar responded. "Did you call me ’Dear’?" Hecate responded.

"...Yes? Should I not?" He asked, unsure how she would take it. He only sort of blurted it out because he didn’t know what else to say. He also knew this and wanted to make sure he was doing it right.

"...I don’t hate it." She replied, and her tone took to softening just ever so slightly. "What do you need?"

"Is there a god called Matton? The God of kneading dough?"

"Yes." She answered. "I recall a God like that."

"What’s their attitude like?"

"Arrogant, self-absorbed, inflated ego."

"I see, thank you." Ocean Song replied.

"Mm. Why do you need to know?"

"I’m probably going to go break his legs."

"Very well." She didn’t even question it. "He’s weak, so I don’t need to worry." With that, the divine altar call ended.

Ocean Song collected the materials, putting them back inside his storage pouch. "Good news, Fellow Daoist. I have verified your information; it appears that there is credence to your argument."

"So I’m not in trouble?"

Ocean Song didn’t immediately answer. "Fellow Daoist, tell me the full details. Why are you in debt? You are a god; you’re paying mortal money? What blackmail does the bread maker have on you that has you making an oath to the Styx?"

The god looked away. "Not all gods disdain mortal money, you know?"

"Fellow Daoist, why is a God of Cheese working out here in the desert? Shouldn’t you be rich? Cheese is a lucrative market!"

"I’m not the god of cheese; I’m the god of cheese making!" He clarified, letting out a long sigh. "And cheese making has become automated; it barely has anything to do with me anymore. The human element is almost completely gone besides artisan cheese makers. And don’t even get me started on the dwindling Bee populations!" He looked utterly defeated. "I’m barely even a god anymore."

"Fellow Daoist..." Ocean Song put a hand on his shoulder in solidarity. "Cheese making is significantly less impressive than cheese. I understand how you may feel depressed."

The god of cheesemaking let out a long sigh. "I can’t really do much, but the money here is good and I only need to do manual labor. It’s dangerous to mortals, but as a god, well...I still at least have this much going for me."

Ocean Song nodded in understanding. "Fellow Doaist, how was this other god able to blackmail you?

"I..." He looked away. "Will you keep it a secret?"

"I am the arbiter of justice under the great River Styx! Your secrets shall not be revealed!" Ocean Song promised.

"I have a family." He said quietly. "My wife is a mortal. Even if I’m a pathetic god, I’m still a god. My daughter is eleven, and according to the rules, I’m not allowed to stay in their lives. But...I can’t leave."

Ocean Song’s expressions changed.

That was most certainly not the answer he was expecting.

The Divine Rules that Zeus set down: Gods weren’t allowed to interfere in the lives of mortals overtly. That included parents being in the lives of their demigod children.

He was breaking Zeus’s Divine Law, and if Olympus found out, they would make an example out of him.

"This Bread God, is he the same?"

"Huh? No. He just found me and thinks it’s fun. He’s always been arrogant because bread has been the staple food for thousands of years! He’s not like me; people still knead dough all the time! Every pizza shop in town is owned by him; every bakery that handmakes their own bread, they’re all his."

"Then why did he ask for money?"

"...he thought it was funny because I don’t have much." The Cheese God slumped his head. "When I tried to pay him back like I said, he told me he was only playing around and wanted to see what would happen when I broke my oath."

Ocean Song put another hand on The Cheese God’s shoulder. "Fellow Daoist. Have you ever run someone over with a car before?"

[Line Break]

Matton, the God of Dough Kneading and of Bread, was walking down the street.

His Lamborghini was parked not far away, and he was done checking up on several of his businesses in town.

He pulled his expensive suit sleeve up to look at the time on his twenty-thousand-dollar watch and nodded to himself because he had another meeting in an hour.

He pulled out his keys, hitting the fob as his car blinked, unlocking, from across the street. Just as he stepped onto the asphalt cross, he turned to see a beat-up pickup truck come barreling down the street.

It slammed right into the God, as if it intentionally hit him.

The God of Bread went flying across the street.

As a god, he wouldn’t be injured by something like this.

He got up, angry, furious even. His clothes were torn and ripped down, and his watch was cracked and scraped.

While he didn’t care about money in the normal sense, they were his, and he was going to make the one responsible pay.

But he paused when he saw the driver. "Aristaeus?" He asked in confusion. "What the hell—"

"Sneak attack!" Ocean Song jumped out of the passenger door and threw his Cheese Wheel at the God.

The God of Bread got smacked in the face with a heavy brick of cheese, knocking him back off his feet.

"Again, go, go, Fellow Daoist!" Ocean Song urged him.

The God of Bread, dazed, looked up, and the truck ran him over again.

Matton tumbled across the asphalt as the truck’s wheels kicked him out, leaving tire marks on his body and his clothes even more torn.

Before he could utter another word, the truck reversed and ran him over again.

Aristaeus shifted back into drive, about to run him over again, but Matton was back up on his feet.

"Aristaeus, are you out of your mind!?" He roared furiously.

"Sneak attack!" Ocean Song retrieved the Cheese Wheel and threw it at the God again, smacking him in the back of the head, causing his head to fly forward and slam into the ground.

Aristaeus then proceeded to drive into him again, running him over for the third time.

"That’s enough! "The God of Bread roared, causing the truck to go flying off the street, hitting the side of a building as he flared his divine power. "I will not be—"

"Sneak attack!" Ocean Song smacked him across the face with the Stick of Redemption.

All his accumulated Divine Power dissipated in that moment, leaving the god bewildered. He opened his mouth, feeling the pain in his jaw, only for him to get smacked across the face again, and one of his teeth flying out of his mouth.

"W-why does it hurt!?" He clutched his face. "Who are you!?"

"I am Vengeance! I am the Night! I am the Righteous Cultivator who upholds oaths!" He smacked the God again with his stick, each strike dispersing his Divine Power. "Fellow Daoist, quick, come stomp him with me! A proper beating needs multiple people to jump him!"

Aristaeus climbed out of his rolled-over truck, looking at the scene. He had a great many thoughts in this moment, but his anger seemed to win out. The anger of being blackmailed and made a joke just for a laugh despite it almost ruining his life.

He ran over and started stomping on the god who had gone prone and screamed under the dual assault.

"Keep going, Fellow Daoist! Make sure to stomp on his legs while he can’t use his Divine Power!" Ocean Song encouraged him.

The God of Bread was crying at this point from the beating and the inflicted pain that wasn’t being stymied by his godly power.

A god who hadn’t experienced this kind of pain or insult or embarrassment their entire life, it was a profound experience.

"I—is this really okay?" The Cheese God asked hesitantly.

"Don’t worry about it, Fellow Daoist. I’ve done this exact scenario before, and it all worked out in the end!"

The Cheese God, who had paused momentarily as his common sense returned, then looked back at the god who had been mentally torturing him the past several days and went back to stomping on him.

"Excellent form, Fellow Daoist! Aim for between the legs!"

"No, don’t—" The Bread God screamed as a foot caught him right in his dangly bits.

"This is your punishment for forcing me to wait three hours in a small cupboard!" Ocean Song declared, pointing at the Bread God. "And for misusing the Great Oath of Styx for your petty games!"

The Cheese God was letting out panted breaths as he finally finished.

A beaten, bloodied, broken God of Bread was lying on the asphalt, tears streaming down his eyes, but his expression was hard to read as his face was swollen and broken in various places.

And his legs may or may not be bending at wrong angles.

"Quick, now take his shoes."

"Why?" The God of Cheese was bewildered.

"They look expensive!"

The God of Cheese considered this and felt like what he said made sense. He took off the Bread God’s shoes.

"Well done, Fellow Daoist!" Ocean Song praised him.

"Yeah!" He smiled. "Yeah, I feel good! Um...what now?"

"Now!" Ocean Song smacked his stick into his palm. "It’s time for your punishment, Fellow Daoist!"

The God of Cheese winced. "Just...please don’t do anything to my family, please."

Ocean Song’s expression softened. "The punishment is already determined; you should know what happens when you break an oath on the River Styx, Fellow Daoist." He pushed the stick to the God’s chest. "In accordance with the Great Goddess of Oaths, I hereby proclaim your punishment. You are banished from Olympus and—! You are rendered a mortal for the next... How old is your child?"

"My daughter is eleven...?"

"For the next seven years!" He used the Divine Weapon bestowed upon him by Styx to seal the god’s divinity, turning him into a mortal.

The God’s eyes widened in realization.

His meager divine power disappeared entirely, sealed away. But he came to a realization as Ocean Song smiled at him.

If he were now mortal, then he wouldn’t be breaking any laws by staying with his family.

"...thank you." He whispered.

"Fellow Daoist, a question. As the emissary of the Great Styx, I am to punish oathbreakers. But this one down here broke no oaths." He kicked the God of Bread. "He will heal in a bit, and you will be at his mercy."

Aristaeus’s face paled.

He hadn’t thought about that.

"Fellow Daoist. Would you like a job?" Ocean Song asked.

After all, they had plenty of room at the Sect, and a dedicated cheese maker would be most welcome!

[Line Break]

A/N

The Sect may gain a new cultivator. And Ocean Song has fulfilled his duties twice now, and they both involved running someone over with a car. There may be a pattern, but who knows for sure.

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