Chapter 112: Hope of Despair

Then Clear’s voice tore through the fragile opening Ash had created.

“Budding flower of violence, is your love for your brother really so shallow that words could shake your resolve? Violence! You have no chance to teach someone like him ’empathy.’ Violence is the only answer! The only way to make him learn!”

A dead silence filled the air. Other than [Vortex] slamming into Ash and Claude, nobody spoke; all stared at Clear or Nora, who’d frozen once again.

Ash glanced at his brother…

His expression was calm, but his gaze was sharp.

Their reunion had already been supremely wrong.

Clear hadn’t shown any resentment toward Ash for cutting him out after his self-sacrifice.

Ash hadn’t shown Clear any of the distance he’d been practicing for the last decade.

Clear knew only rumors about what Ash was doing, while Ash knew absolutely nothing about Clear.

Yet, despite the rift that should have been there, neither of them had tried to hash out those old wounds.

Even if the current Clear was unrecognizable to Ash, and Ash was undoubtedly different from who he had been in the past, they spoke as if they had one another all figured out.

Yet, neither did.

What they did understand was the foundation they’d both been built upon.

The ardent desire for the top.

Neither would dare assume the other had abandoned his life’s purpose, what he’d spent his entire life forging himself to become.

And, naturally, only one such existence could stand at the top. Even growing up, they had known that. Eventually, they would have to face one another as opponents.

In that vein, their sibling relationship was a ticking time bomb.

One could hold a bomb close, love it even, but the fuse would keep burning regardless. Eventually, before the flame reached the charge, one would have to throw it away or clutch it until the very end, gambling everything on the desperate hope that somehow, impossibly, it was a dud.

But…

That bomb, their relationship, had already exploded.

They were still covered in the soot and grime from that day. Its residue clung far too tightly. The soot was already difficult enough to scrub from one’s skin, scrubbing it from the mind was impossible.

Nor could the explosion be undone.

There was no returning to the past.

Both knew that all too well.

That was why they acted like nothing had changed…

Because in the only way that mattered between them, nothing had.

They’d already declared one another their biggest rival.

The moment they saw each other again and realized they were both trapped in this strange world, they knew the only thread left connecting them was battle.

Battle, of course, wasn’t always physical…

Instead of trying to kill Ash or destroy his Totem, Clear wanted to break down his brother.

He wanted to win a flawless victory.

That went far beyond standing over Ash’s corpse…

He wanted to make Ash admit defeat. To make him willingly hand Clear the victory.

It was his long-standing vendetta, born the day Ash called him a “Failure.”

***

Ash glanced at his brother…

His expression was calm, but his gaze was sharp.

‘So, this is how it is?’

Was this how their saga of ruin would begin?

The first page…

‘Very well, Clear. I accept this declaration.’

Turning back toward Nora, Ash simply stared at her.

He couldn’t speak. At least not properly. Anything he said would come out choppy and strange.

The last thing he needed was to show the three spectators his glitch, let alone its biggest weakness.

So, however this situation developed… it was up to Nora.

Whether she would accept Ash’s challenge of empathy or embrace Clear’s rule of violence.

Suddenly, [Vortex] was recalled into Nora.

Ash watched as her dwindling mana shot up while the amount she exuded swelled with it. Her stats rose slightly from the buff as well.

Yet, despite possessing that newfound strength, Nora fell to her knees. Her eyes were cast upon the forest floor in utter disgrace.

Her quiet words carried through the Mountains of Spring.

“I’m… not an idiot.”

She sniffled softly, her gaze lifting to Claude’s.

“I have no chance against him… especially not both of you.”

Then, her gaze shifted toward Ash.

“My brother… It was a slow decline. At first, he was angry at your words, but that was all. Just anger. But then he kept failing… again and again. And every time he did, he got a little worse. His skill declined alongside his mental state. Worse… it didn’t stay confined to the game. That mentality followed him into every part of his life. He ate less. Slept less. He pushed his body and mind harder and harder, like if he just gave enough of himself, eventually something would change. He refused to give up. Refused to go back to school. Refused to get a job that paid. Refused to give up on his dream. He just… kept trying. Even after he got the notice that he was being released as a substitute, he kept trying. Then, on his way out… he met you again. You said one word, just one word… and it was the word that killed him: ‘pathetic.'”

Nora took a deep breath and wiped away her tears. Then, with her eyes still locked on Ash, she continued:

“He never recovered… You, even if you had taken his spot, were his idol — his goal. Having all of his hard work shattered by a passing, impassive sneer was more than his broken mind could bear. My parents tried to help him. They really did. But they couldn’t keep supporting him forever. Eventually, they told him he had to leave… that he needed to find his own way in the world. They thought the hardship might finally force him into action. Only a few days later, we learned where that way had taken him. A cemetery.”

Ash’s brass irises remained fixed on Nora’s bloodshot teal eyes.

A single tear ran down her cheek as she continued:

“You don’t know… what it feels like. You don’t know what it feels like to lose such an important piece of yourself. Because you don’t know what it means to love. To love something more than you love yourself. Nor do I think I’m capable of teaching you that. This is simply… my loss.”

Nora hung her head.

Off to the side, Clear stopped swinging his legs and clicked his tongue.

“Tch. How boring.”

Ash, on the other hand…

“Sorry.”

The word was hollow. Devoid of any substance.

Yet…

It hadn’t been spoken with deception in mind.

Ash continued:

“I’m sorry for what happened to your brother.”

Nora’s face remained blank, but her eyes widened as anger began to rise within them.

“Those words are the thing you long for me to say at least once. To say it and mean it… But at this moment, they’re simply a lie. I don’t feel I had any part in your brother’s decisions just because I said a few words.”

Nora dug her fingers into the dirt.

Ash continued:

“But now… it’s obvious that I made a mistake. If it’s as you say, his desperation and dedication to his dreams, even at the cost of his body and sanity, were worthy of something. There’s no remuneration I can give him if he’s no longer here, but I’ll take one thing back. His resolve was anything but pathetic. I… was mistaken.”

Ash had one more thing to add, but kept it to himself:

‘It was only when he resigned himself to failure and lost that resolve that he became worthy of the word “pathetic.”‘

Nora replied slowly.

“You… you are an awful man. Your words mean so little. I don’t see any chance of change in you, yet… and yet, I want it to be possible. I want you to understand the depths of despair. I want you to feel the anguish you put my brother through.”

Ash shoved his hand forward.

‘[Focus]’

“Do try.”

Nora promptly smacked his hand away and spat a bitter curse.

“I’ll do more than try.”

Tears still brimming in her eyes, she stood and walked past Claude and Ash, toward Fae and Sandra. She didn’t seem to care about the Harpy spectators, much less who they were, as she said:

“I’m returning to the Totem… don’t let me see that lowlife Demon again.”

Clear laughed and clapped.

“Such harsh words!”

Ignoring him, Nora looked at Jack and ordered:

“I don’t know who you are, but bring him and follow me.”

“R-right!”

Éloi winced.

“I’m awake… y’know.”

Nora ignored him, then scooped Sandra into her arms and continued up toward the ridge.

Claude bit his lip before muttering:

“Well, fuck… I don’t know whether this is good or bad.”

His gaze drifted to Ash’s nearly impassive expression. At the sight of it, his own expression hardened. But it wasn’t one Ash had any chance of deciphering.

Without a word, Claude ran after Nora and the Harpies.

Finally, Clear and Ash were left alone.

Whistling, Clear jumped from the tree while simultaneously unsummoning his dagger.

“Phew… I guess we can call this your victory, Ashley.”

Ash took a deep breath, then said:

“I’d say… undecided.”