Chapter 66 The Emperor Prepares to Slack Off

“If we want to surgically excise the cancer that is the Drukhari, we have to launch a massive crusade.”

“As it stands, the Nether Highway isn’t fully expanded yet, so we still have to rely on Warp travel to marshal our forces.”

“The real problem is that the light of the Astronomican is growing dimmer by the day. Navigators are finding it harder and harder to establish their bearings in the Immaterium, making assembling an invasion force incredibly difficult.”

Guilliman fully backed the motion to launch a crusade against the Drukhari. Ever since the Great Rift tore open, those xenos freaks had dramatically ramped up their raiding frequency. Their methods were exceptionally horrific, regularly massacring and torturing defenseless Imperial citizens on an industrial scale. The glaring issue, however, was that the Astronomican had become violently unstable since the Rift’s formation, skyrocketing the mortality rate of Warp travel.

“Something must be wrong on Terra,” Sanguinius chimed in. “Knowing Abaddon’s tactical mindset, he absolutely has a follow-up strategy aimed at the Throneworld.”

Guilliman nodded. “We have no way to establish contact and ascertain Terra’s status right now. But our immediate priority has to be finding a viable replacement for the Astronomican to secure stable Warp transit.”

“Perhaps we should reactivate the Pharos beacon,” the Lion suggested.

Back during the Horus Heresy, Lorgar had used a massive ritual to summon the Ruinstorm—a galaxy-spanning Warp storm that completely blotted out the Astronomican. In response, Guilliman had activated an ancient xenos beacon discovered on the planet Sotha to guide Imperial ships, inadvertently laying the groundwork for Imperium Secundus.

Standing off to the side, Vane was just listening to the Primarchs debate when a system prompt suddenly popped up.

[System Module detects new information. Main Quest Activated: Defeat all C’tan and Necron Overlords. Reward: 10% Total Conquest Progression. Unlocked Title: ‘Ender of the Old Era’.]

Oh? Another main quest just dropped?

A flicker of genuine surprise crossed Vane’s eyes. Why didn’t this quest trigger back when he was in the Cryptus System? Could it be…

Vane briefly glanced at the Aeldari Farseers. The Aeldari were technically remnants of the Old Era too, so they logically should have been lumped in with the Necrons on the chopping block. Did the quest change because they surrendered and became Imperial vassals?

Eh, whatever. Why bother overthinking it? When you have overwhelming power, who needs an overarching master plan?

Once he cleared this new quest, his total conquest progression would hit 40%. At this rate, conquering the entire Warhammer universe wouldn’t even take a year; he could probably wrap it up in six months.

“The Pharos beacon? Not even a grox would use that piece of trash,” Sanguinius flat-out vetoed the Lion’s suggestion.

“Do you have a better idea?” The Lion frowned, looking at his brother.

Sanguinius walked over to Vane. “Obviously, we ask the Forefather to step in and build us something brand new.”

“The Forefather?”

The Lion, Guilliman, Calgar, Celestine, Cawl, and the rest of the Imperial brass all turned to stare at Vane. Their eyes were completely wide with shock. The Forefather can even build psychic Warp beacons?! Is there anything this man can’t do?!

“Since my little angel asked so nicely, I suppose I can lower myself to build you guys one,” Vane agreed, officially accepting Sanguinius’s request to construct a Warp lighthouse in the Macragge system to replace the fading Astronomican.

Back in the Cryptus System, Vane had already used a Beacon block to build a lighthouse, so the proof of concept was solid. This time, he just needed to slap on a cooler exterior and place it down. The Cryptus beacon had utilized a floating city aesthetic, but for this one, Vane decided to build himself a colossal, custom world-wonder monument. Any Minecraft player who didn’t routinely construct pointless, insanely massive monuments was a disgrace to the craft.

True to his word, Vane and his Steve stand started grinding relentlessly that very day. It took them an entire week and a sickening amount of raw materials, but they finally constructed a staggering 50-kilometer-tall statue of Vane himself. The statue had its left hand reaching forward, while its right hand held a massive, torch-shaped Beacon tower high into the sky.

When the group received the invitation and arrived for the beacon activation ceremony, every single jaw dropped in sheer disbelief.

“He built a statue this massive… in one week?” Eldrad breathed in awe, before slowly turning his head toward Yvraine. “Actually, reproductive isolation really isn’t that big of a deal. We have biological gene-editing technology. I guarantee we can help you give birth to a beautiful child with a perfect blend of Aeldari and human genetics.”

“I think Eldrad makes an excellent point. You should genuinely secure a political marriage,” Sylandri Veilwalker agreed, swallowing hard. The human Forefather was just too capable. Even at the absolute apex of the ancient Aeldari Empire, they still wouldn’t have stood a chance against him.

Yvraine just stood there, metaphorical dark lines dropping over her face. I’m so tired. Just end it all. Her people were completely hopeless, permanently hyper-fixated on trying to pimp her out for political gain.

Meanwhile, the Lion, Guilliman, Calgar, and the Imperial commanders were equally shell-shocked. If the Imperium had commissioned a project of this scale, it would have taken decades at a minimum. The Forefather had done it in a week, and the craftsmanship was utterly flawless. Words like “god” honestly felt like an insult when trying to describe how omnipotent the Forefather truly was.

Sanguinius, Dante, and the Blood Angels, however, just rolled their eyes. To the uninitiated, building this in a week was a divine miracle. But they knew the Forefather well enough to understand that 99% of that week was just him obsessively detailing the cosmetic statue. If he just wanted to build the functional Beacon tower, he probably could have slapped it down in half a day.

Once all the invited guests were present, Vane stepped up to the podium under the watchful eyes of millions, holding the Beacon core in his hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to witness a miracle. Let us welcome a brand new era together.”

As he spoke, he slotted the core right into the center of the Beacon tower.

In the very next second, dense, glowing runes flared to life across the entire surface of the 50-kilometer statue. The runes surged like rivers of starlight, converging directly into the Beacon core. The core erupted with blinding brilliance, blazing like a newly born sun, before firing a colossal, majestic pillar of light straight into the void, piercing deep into the boundless Warp.

Countless Imperial ships desperately struggling through violent Warp storms saw the Beacon’s sudden appearance and immediately clung to it like a drowning man grabbing a lifeline. Guided by their Navigators, the fleets tore free of the storms, safely translating back into realspace. The surviving crews wept and cheered in absolute, unrestrained joy at having narrowly escaped total annihilation.

“What is that?!”

“Why is there an Astronomican out here?!”

Over on Terra, the Imperial psykers tasked with monitoring the Immaterium immediately detected the blinding pillar of light. The news sent shockwaves through the Throneworld. Every major branch of the Adeptus Terra frantically demanded answers. Why was there a second Astronomican firing from the ass-end of the galactic east?! Did this mean a god-like entity on par with the Emperor had manifested in Ultramar? Had this being built its own beacon to launch a new Great Crusade and forge a rival empire?!

But the biggest shock for the Adeptus Terra was yet to come.

Shortly after the colossal beam of light ignited in the eastern fringe, the actual Astronomican flickered a few times… and abruptly died.

Fabricator-General Oud Oudia Raskian, the attending Tech-Priests, the Master of the Astronomican, and all the high-ranking officials overseeing the repairs were completely paralyzed with shock.

Wait! We just started the initial diagnostic checks! We haven’t even touched the internal mechanisms yet! How did the whole thing just shut off?! To the Inquisitors and the Adeptus Custodes of Terra—you have to listen to us! We swear on the Sun and the Moon, our loyalty to the Emperor and Terra is absolute! We didn’t break it, we swear!

Of course, the Astronomican didn’t turn off because Raskian and the Mechanicus screwed up the repairs. It turned off because the Emperor manually pulled the plug.

Sitting upon the Golden Throne, the moment the Emperor saw that the Beacon lighthouse on Macragge could comfortably blanket the entire Imperium, he immediately shut down the Astronomican.

Fewer psykers burned as fuel meant fewer screaming souls to deal with, significantly lightening the grueling psychic toll on his own mind. The Big E was absolutely thrilled. Finally, someone tall enough had stepped up to carry the weight of the galaxy. All he had to do was patiently wait for the Forefather to march his armies to Terra, and he could finally go back to slacking off and being completely useless, just like the good old days.

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