556 Which Was Worse
She lay back in her bed, closing her eyes and taking slow deep breaths. Ignoring the sounds of the monitors and the air vents above her.
Staring into the darkness of her eyelids, Ashleigh focused on her heartbeat, her soft breaths, and the rise and fall of her chest.
Slowly the darkness became light.
Around her was the brightness of the sunlight that streamed through the large window. She blinked and looked around the room. The wall she knew would push out to reveal a kitchen, the desk filled with monitors. The large bed they had spent many pleasure-filled nights in.
She stood and looked around the treehouse. A smile spread over her lips.
This was their place. The place where they could shed their duties, the responsibility that weighed down on them and kept them apart. This is where they were just Caleb and Ashleigh, husband and wife, mates.
Ashleigh took a deep breath, holding to the only hope she had.
“Caleb,” she whispered into the air around her.
Her voice gave a soft echo that made her look all over the room, but no one else was there.
She took a deep breath and moved about the room.
“I’m waiting.…” she said with a soft smile. “If you return to me right now, I promise I won’t be mad.”
Ashleigh held her smile as her heart beat heavily. She stared at the trapdoor entry on the floor across the room, hoping that it would open.
After a long while, she looked away sadly. Then, taking a deep breath, she tried to rally her spirit.
“Come on, Caleb…” she whispered, letting out a shaky breath. “I just want to hear your voice….”
The tears welled in her eyes. She sat down on the floor, leaning her back against the wall so she could keep looking for the door to open.
Another several minutes passed. She was frustrated, a heaviness in her chest that made her feel like she couldn’t catch her breath.
“Damn it, Caleb,” she whispered, leaning back against the wall. “Why are you still taking the suppressants!”
Tears streaked down her face. She took a shaky breath, and a sob escaped her lips.
“How could you do this… how could you cut us off from each other like this!”
Ashleigh brought her hand to her eyes, covering herself. She let her anger and sadness out. Crying wholeheartedly, missing him, worrying for him. Just wishing she could feel him and know he was all right.
She sniffled and sat up, looking at the tree house’s entrance. She took a shaky breath.
“I’ll wait,” she whispered. “As long as it takes….”
And then, the door moved.
Ashleigh sat up, her heart pounding in her chest.
“I’m sorry,” came a voice that did not belong to Caleb.
Ashleigh’s heart sank, and she fell back against the wall as Lily climbed into the room.
Ashleigh clenched her jaw and closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath and letting her anger build.
“He knew I would be worried…” she growled. “Why would he do that? Why would he take those stupid pills, knowing I would sit here and worry the whole time!”
She sniffled.
“The south lands?” she asked herself. “He had to know that that was his plan before we talked last… and he didn’t tell me. He didn’t tell me that I couldn’t contact him for ten days!”
Ashleigh looked around the room.
“This is our place,” she whispered. “This is where we go to be together, really together. This is where we know that both of us are safe.”
She swallowed and lifted her tear-filled eyes to Lily.
“So why isn’t he here?” she whispered.
Lily reached her hand out to Ashleigh, touching her leg.
“Ashleigh,” she said gently. “Even without the suppressants, Caleb wouldn’t be able to reach you.”
Ashleigh furrowed her brows.
“What?”
“The connection you share is from your bond, but the power to communicate is from your blood,” Lily began. “You are exhausted. I told you before that you used all of your reserves. There is no power to draw on. Not until your body has healed.”
“Then… what about Caleb?” Ashleigh asked. “If he hasn’t taken the suppressant, what does he feel?”
“Your exhaustion,” Lily replied. “It won’t harm him, but if he tries to reach out to you, he will feel the weariness in your body. He will know that you are alive, but he will know that you are worn down.”
Ashleigh took a deep breath. She wasn’t sure which was worse. Not being able to feel him at all or feeling his exhaustion with an inability to talk to him.
She couldn’t imagine how worried he must have been over the past four days.
‘It’s ok to worry about each other, Ash, and it’s not a sign of weakness or a curse. It’s love,’ his voice whispered through her memory. ‘I love you, so I worry. You love me, so you also worry.’
Ashleigh took another heavy breath as she leaned back, remembering his words.
‘But at the end of it all, we both know that the other will make it through. So, I will see you after my mission, and I will help you finish yours.’
She thought of his confident smile and the kiss they had shared.
Ashleigh leaned her head back, closing her eyes.
“Let’s keep our promise to each other,” she whispered. Focusing as much as she could on sending him her message. “Let’s finish this war together.”
***
[Somewhere in the South Lands]
The wolves of Burning Ember had set up camp. They had been attacked several times by rogues, and it was decided they needed to rest.
Saul had set up sentries and sent several Cold Warriors out as scouts to check ahead. Sending a couple back in the direction they had come to search for Alpha Sofia and the smiths.
They had expected to see them a day or two earlier, but there was no sign of them so far.
Caleb had been apprehensive. He knew that communication would be a problem, but he had no idea how much of a struggle it would be for him personally.
As he laid back on his cot, he felt a strong tug on his heart.
Ashleigh.
“Please…” he whispered to himself, “let me hear your voice….”
“Caleb!”
He quickly got to his feet when he heard Saul shout to him from outside.
“What is it?” Caleb asked, stepping out of his tent. “Rogues again?”
“We don’t know,” Saul replied. “But it’s more than a few.”
“What do you mean?”
“The scout reported seeing a large group running straight for us,” Saul replied.
“From where?” Caleb asked.
“Burning Ember.”