515 The Last Walls Between Them
Alice sat on the tub’s edge and watched as the last of the water flowed down into the drain, rose petals scattered over the copper bottom. As the echoing sound of the water moving into the pipes hung in her ears, she couldn't help but feel a certain dissatisfaction.
Behind her, the shower’s water splashed against the brown and gold tiled floor.
“Water's perfect,” Axel called from inside.
She stood up from the tub's edge and looked in at the man she loved, his back facing her as he let the water flow over his body.
Alice chewed her lip as she took a moment to appreciate his form. The strong lines of muscle that decorated his back, the round firmness of his butt. Thick, powerful legs.
While Axel made sure that Alice was left writhing and gripping so tightly to the tub that, for a moment, she thought she had cracked the copper plating. She was still left wanting.
Almost every time they had made love, they had found their release together. Driving each other over the edge as they shared in every moment.
But for some reason, Axel had decided to change things up this time.
He had moved slow and steady inside of her. He drove her to the point of no return with his intentional movements and then topped it off by stimulating her clit until she climaxed, hard.
But then he did something strange. As she was lost in the warmth and pleasure of her orgasm, he pulled out. Finishing himself off alone with the stroke of his hand.
Afterward, he got out of the tub and grabbed a towel, laying it on the small bench beside the linen closet. He came back, lifted Alice out of the water, and carried her to the bench. He set her down and wrapped her in the large towel as he returned to empty the tub and prepare the shower.
During this time, Alice's mind began to replay the events in the bath. Her thoughts lingered on the final moments.
As Axel stood in the shower, Alice watched him with renewed interest. Finally, she dropped the towel to the floor and opened the door to the shower.
Axel turned at her entrance.
“Hey,” he smiled. “Come here. Let's get you cleaned off.”
Axel took a step back to allow her greater access to the water. There was plenty of room for them both, and the double shower heads made it so they could both wash simultaneously.
But as Axel took his step back, he was surprised when Alice kept moving toward him rather than turning into the water.
Alice placed her hand against his chest, backing him into the wall. Axel gasped as the cold tile touched his back, but before he could complain or question, Alice wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down so their mouths could meet in a hot and messy kiss.
Axel, though initially surprised, quickly relaxed, placing his arm around her lower back and pulling her closer as their kiss became more fervent.
She smiled against his lips as they pulled away to catch their breaths but remained pressed together as though they couldn't bear to be apart. She stole a few quick, soft kisses, moving her hand down his chest and stomach.
Axel released a soft gasp against her lips as she suddenly grabbed hold of him.
“Alice,” he whispered, licking his lips as he leaned his head back against the tile. Then, closing his eyes as the water continued to fall over him. “What are you doing?”
Alice grinned.
“What we both want,” she whispered softly, kissing his chin.
“You promised…” he groaned as her movements along his shaft grew firmer.
“Mmm,” she replied. “But that was for bath time. This is shower time, and I promised nothing about shower time.”
Alice adjusted the position of her body. She rolled her hips so that as she stroked him, the head of his engorged shaft would momentarily dip into her already wet folds. With each stroke, she let out a soft whimper as she felt him against her.
Axel moved his hands to her hips, holding them steady to prevent her movements. He let out velvety breaths, a dazed look in his eye as he swallowed.
“Alice…” he whispered with a clear strain in his voice.
She could see that he was struggling to control himself. Alice smiled. She knew it. Stroking himself to completion hadn't been enough for him, just like it wasn't enough for her.
“Axel,” she whispered, leaning forward to bite his ear lobe.
He let out a low moan, and though he had stopped the movement of her hips, his grip loosened at that moment, and Alice took advantage. Shifting so that the head of his shaft glided into her warmth and waited at her entrance.
Axel groaned and squeezed painfully at her hips. Alice let out a moan. The anticipation of feeling him moving inside of her again was almost excruciating.
“Alice…” he called to her again, clenching his jaw and taking a deep breath through his nose. “Wait…I can't. It's too soon.”
Alice flicked her tongue over his ear.
“We both know that you can,” she whispered. “You've taken me five times back-to-back before. Even our first time together was more than once.”
The hand wrapped around the base of his shaft gave him a gentle squeeze.
Axel growled.
“We can't… please…” he pleaded with a gentle moan, turning his head to lean against hers.
Alice suddenly felt a sinking feeling in her heart. She swallowed and licked her lips.
“Why, Axel?” she asked gently. “Why ‘can't' we?”
Her voice was quiet, but she couldn't mask the hurt she felt. Alice could feel his body tense at the change in her voice.
“Alice,” he whispered, lifting his eyes to look at her with a plea in his eyes. “It's dangerous….”
She took a shaky breath and pulled away from him. Axel let her go, lowering his eyes as she turned away.
“Alice,” he called to her.
“No,” she said as she hugged herself. “Let's just finish our showers.”
Axel sighed and took a deep breath, disappointed and guilty, but he didn't argue.
***
He sat back against the headboard, wrapped in his large robe. His hair hung loosely around his shoulders, still damp but mostly dry at this point.
He stared at the bathroom door.
He had come out of the shower almost ten minutes ago while Alice still washed her body.
Axel laid his head back against the wood frame of their headboard. Letting out a mournful sigh as he did so.
He knew she was upset, and he wasn't surprised. But he was acting in her best interest. Keeping her body safe from the risk of activating the infection.
Didn't she understand that? Wasn't that the reason she had volunteered to have surgery? So that the risk to her body was gone?
The door opened, and Alice stepped out in her fluffy robe, scrunching the towel against her short curls.
Axel sat straight, taking a breath as he watched her walk into the room.
She glanced up at him and then turned away toward the dresser.
Axel sighed. She was still upset.
“Alice…” he called out.
She didn't respond. Instead, she pulled out the drawer and searched her clothing for something to wear.
“Alice, please talk to me,” he called her again. “We can't just ignore the problem and hope it goes away.”
Alice stopped moving.
“I'm sorry,” he said, moving to the edge of the bed. “I didn't mean to upset you.”
Still, she remained silent.
Axel stood up from the bed.
“I wanted to be with you,” he admitted, “to feel you again. To make you feel good.”
“Is there something wrong with that?” she asked, not looking back at him.
“No,” he replied immediately. “As long we're careful.”
He heard a scoff from her, but he continued anyway.
“Alice, with the changes in your body, we have to be much more careful than ever before. We can't just—“
“I'm not broken!” Alice screamed, turning around and throwing the shirt from the drawer she had balled into her hand.
Axel caught the shirt, looking at her with concern. Tears streamed down her face, her breath was shallow and labored, and her body shook. Seeing her like this made his heart ache.
“Alice…. No, you're not,” he said. “I never meant… Of course, you're not broken.”
She clenched her jaw and looked away from him.
“Sweet girl,” he whispered, taking a step toward her. “Sweet girl, can you hear me?”
“Don't,” she whispered, putting her hand up to stop him from getting closer. “Don't try and use our past to placate my feelings.”
“That's not what I'm trying to do,” Axel replied. “I just want to be closer to you.”
Alice scoffed.
“That's not what you said in the shower.”
Axel clenched his jaw, feeling the sting of her words.
“You know it's not the same.”
“No, I don't,” she replied.
“Come on, Alice,” he said, hoping to reason with her. “You know the dangers of the infection still inside of you. We can't take the risk that we might…”
His words trailed into a heavy sigh. He couldn't say it, not because he hadn't accepted it or because it hurt him too much to think about. But because he was afraid of how much it would hurt her.
“Does it bother you?” she asked quietly.
Axel furrowed his brows and looked at her. Her eyes glistened with tears; her lower lip shook with the emotion she struggled to control.
“What?” he asked.
Alice chewed her bottom lip and gave him a sad smile.
“To know that just as I always have been, I am once more a weapon,” she replied shakily. “If you and I give ourselves to each other completely, the way that we always have… if we build a miracle together… my body will destroy it.”
Axel closed his eyes. He wanted to hold her in his arms, to comfort her, and wrap her in his warmth.
“Alice,” he called to her. “My concern is with you.”
They locked eyes. His hazel storm stared into her golden chocolate and saw the raw pain and the deep wish to be loved.
“The miracle we have built is us,” he continued, “and I will never let anything destroy it.”
Axel moved forward, no longer waiting for her to allow him to be near her. They needed each other.
He wrapped his arms around her. Pulling her to his chest and holding her with every ounce of love in his body. He kissed the top of her head and whispered to her how much he loved her.
Alice did not resist or participate, simply allowing him to hold her at first. But soon, she released a shaky breath and wrapped her arms around him.
After a long while, Alice broke their silence.
“Just for tonight,” she whispered. “Please… let me feel whole again.”
Axel felt her pain in his heart.
It was a risk. If she became pregnant, he might lose her. But something told him that if he didn't hold her tonight and if they didn't give themselves to each other completely, something between them would break.
He pulled back from their embrace and looked down into her teary eyes. Then, he wiped her tears and smiled lovingly at her.
Lowering his mouth to hers, he kissed her gently. She was hesitant, but soon she kissed him back. Axel lifted her into his arms and carried her back to their bed.
And for the first time in their relationship, they took their time. Making love as they never had before, in slow and deliberate movements meant to make the moment last as long as possible. They shared their bliss and their pain through their connection.
And when the sun rose again, they held each other knowing that things would be different.
Alice knew that Axel was hers, for better or worse, he would never leave her. And Axel knew that Alice had finally torn away the last walls between them.