450 All That Was Left of Her
*** TRIGGER WARNING: DEPICTIONS OF SUICIDE/SELF HARM ***
She didn't know how she had left the room, or climbed the stairs, or climbed the building. All she knew was that the noise was lessened here. Above the world below, the noise was almost gone.
Looking down, she wondered what she had done so wrong that her life had become what it did.
She remembered holding Roman in her arms for that brief moment after she had him. Looking into his fiery eyes and knowing he would either be the light and warmth in the darkness or burn the world to the ground.
Was finding comfort and pleasure at the Blood Moon like all the other single wolves wrong?
Was wishing to raise her child so wrong?
All she had wanted was him and the quiet.
And as the breeze moved faster along her skin and through her hair, she knew that when it stopped, she would at least have the quiet.
The pain she felt was indescribable. But it was also brief. The noise around her was gone, and soon everything else would be too.
Her breathing was getting difficult, and her vision was darker.
But it wasn't gone, and the image that appeared before her was far more painful than the impact on her body.
Fiery eyes, filled with tears, stared down at her. His beautiful face twisted in pain and sorrow.
The world around her was silent, save for the one word she had longed to hear for so many years.
“Mother!” Roman screamed above her.
Irina's eyes filled with tears, her mind with regret. She wanted to reach up to him, to touch him. But she couldn't move.
‘I can help you….” a raspy voice whispered in her mind. ‘If you wish it.'
“How…” Irina whispered out loud.
Roman's eyes widened. “Mother?”
‘Tell our darling son to bring you back to me. I will make sure you survive the trip.'
“Do you… swear…?” Irina asked.
Roman looked at her with confusion.
‘I can bring you back, but I will come with you,' the voice whispered. ‘Do you agree?'
The Goddess had forsaken her, so now she would take whatever hand was offered her.
“Yes,” Irina whispered.
Roman did as Irina asked. He picked up her broken body, carried her through the trees, and then deep down into the cave until they reached the chamber.
He looked around nervously but continued to carry her down to the tree, laying her gently across the roots.
“Roman…” she whispered.
“Yes, Mother?” he replied, taking her hand.
“You were right,” she said.
“What?”
“Life would have been so much better if I had listened to you all those years ago,” Irina whispered, tears running down the side of her face.
The roots below her began to shift and move.
“What's happening?” Roman asked as his eyes darted back and forth over the roots.
“I should have killed the ones that bothered me… then we could have had a life together.”
Irina smiled a bloody smile at him.
“Wouldn't that have been nice?” she asked.
Roman nodded as he swallowed and squeezed her hand.
“Don't leave me,” he whispered. “Please.”
“I have to,” she said. “But I'll be back. You'll see, baby. I will come back, and we will never let anyone bother us again.”
Irina gasped as the roots wrapped over her body, squeezing against her. Roman was forced to let go of his mother as she was pulled toward the tree, slowly being swallowed as if it were a cocoon.
“Goodbye, Roman. I love you. I always have.”
Irina's words were a whisper as the tree sealed around her.
***
Five years after her body was drawn inside the gnarled and twisted tree, the roots moved again.
This time, as the arms and legs of something entirely new.
She learned what Gorn had been up to while she evolved. His focus was entirely on how to use the power of the ley lines to enhance himself and his territory. Even Tomas was short-sighted in his plans. Rule the wolves, be the strongest of the great packs.
Irina scoffed at their triviality.
The only thing they were right about was the need for power. But controlling the wolves was only the start. What she needed was to bring back the true rulers of this world. The Fae.
Irina was only a tiny part of who she was now. The frail and fragile creature that could not protect herself or keep her child in her arms was gone. All that was left of her was the rage and hatred she carried for Gorn, Holden, and the Goddess herself.
When she left the chamber, she searched for Gorn first. She was hardly surprised to find him drunk and beating another weak and frail woman.
When the girl saw her, she screamed and tried to run, but the roots that made up Irina's arms and legs were much faster than the girl's.
Gorn turned as her body fell. The look of horror in his eyes sent a ripple of excitement through Irina's tendrils. But when he also tried to run, and she was able to pierce a root through his back, that was an entirely new delight.
She lifted him and held him in the air with a smile.
“As long as you are useful, I will allow you to keep breathing,” she whispered in a raspy voice, unlike her own. “I know how much you hate useless things.”
Irina made good use of Gorn for several years. She trotted him out like a puppet to all of the Alpha events. She used his voice to spread her words and give her orders.
He was, for a time, how she kept a leash on both Holden and Tomas, but eventually, she wanted the privilege of their fear to herself.
But as Gorn's usefulness began to wane, she used him one last time to call Roman home for a short visit.
She had been watching him from a distance over the years. He had been sent away, and until she was ready, there was no reason to call him home. She read the reports of his behaviors, his murders, and his reputation.
The time when Irina would have been upset by these things was long past. Now, he was exactly who she needed him to be.
Roman was not scared when he saw her. In fact, he recognized her immediately, even in this strange new form. She told him of her plans and asked for his help to rid the world of bothersome things.
He agreed readily.
She saw something in his eyes, a need. There was something that drove his dark desires. She didn't know what it was but assumed it was related to a dark-haired woman. All that mattered was that he was willing to do what she needed when she needed it.
The first of which, was killing Gorn.