310 What Is Different?
Meditation. Training. Sensory deprivation.
Ashleigh had spent the week after the full moon trying all different tactics to try and reach the Valkyrie within her in order to learn to control the power.
But everything she had tried failed.
She took another deep breath as she tried to center herself and focus on the power within. But the more she tried, the more frustrated she felt.
Letting out a low growl, she grabbed the small music player beside her and threw it at the wall.
“Whoa!”
Ashleigh gasped and turned with wide eyes to the voice from the door.
“I’m so sorry!” she shouted. “I didn’t know you were there!”
“It’s ok,” Galen chuckled. “You didn’t even hit me.”
Ashleigh got to her feet.
“Sorry…”
“No need to apologize, my Luna.”
Galen touched his heart and bowed.
Ashleigh smiled and then sighed.
“Not quite yet,” she said.-.
Galen looked at her with furrowed brows.
“I am not technically the Luna of Summer yet,” she clarified. “I haven’t been accepted by the Goddess, or the first Luna, or whoever is making the choice.”
“Ok…” Galen replied awkwardly. “Either way, you have been accepted by the people of Summer. That means you are our Luna, no matter what the Goddess or original Luna say.”
“Thank you,” Ashleigh smiled.
Galen nodded.
They shared an awkward silence.
“Listen,” Galen started. “About what happened before the full moon….”
“Don’t,” Ashleigh interrupted. “Please. Don’t apologize.”
“But I–”
“No,” Ashleigh continued. “Seriously. You have nothing to apologize for.”
“I tried to kill my Luna,” Galen stated flatly.
“You didn’t,” Ashleigh replied. “You tried to protect your mother, who, by the way, is still the Luna… so you actually had to step in….”
Galen sighed.
“Technically, yes, but–”
“Summer loves technicalities,” Ashleigh smiled and shrugged. “So, let’s just let this go, ok?”
“It’s not that simple….” Galen countered.
“Between you and Caleb,” Ashleigh said softly. “But between you and I, it really is that simple.”
Galen looked up at her. He smiled and nodded.
“Good,” she smiled, taking a deep breath.
It was a relief for her as much as it was for him. Ashleigh had never blamed him, but the rift she had caused between Caleb and Galen was a different story.
“So, I hear you will leave us for a while,” Ashleigh said.
“Yes, I will escort Luna Corrine back home tomorrow,” Galen smiled sadly. “Bell and I talked it over. We decided it was best for us to be together through the rest of the pregnancy.”
Ashleigh observed the look on his face. She knew very well how much this man loved her best friend. It didn’t make sense that he would have such a sad look when he spoke of living together.
“Is everything alright?” Ashleigh asked. “Are Bell and the baby alright?”
Galen looked up at her. He seemed to consider something before responding.
“Ren,” he said with a soft smile. “His name is Ren.”
“His…?” Ashleigh asked and then brought her hands over her mouth with a joyful gasp. “It’s a boy?”
Galen nodded.
Ashleigh let out an excited squeal and then did a little happy dance before abruptly turning to Galen with irritation.
“That brat never tells me anything anymore!” she growled in mock anger.
Galen laughed.
“I think you both have had a lot going on lately,” he said. “But you should give her a call, have a good talk.”
Ashleigh understood that he was telling her Bell was struggling with something, but he was trying to leave it to her to share it with Ashleigh.
“You really are the best match for her,” Ashleigh smiled.
Galen smiled.
“I have never received a greater compliment, my Luna,” he replied with a bow.
Ashleigh smiled, taking a moment to appreciate the name they had chosen for their son. She wondered if she would have thought to name her child after Renee.
Had she even ever considered the idea of having a child? Of course, she had thought about it as part of the expected life she would lead with Granger, but had she ever thought about having a child with Caleb?
“So… did you hate the song or…?” he asked.
Ashleigh chuckled softly as she was pulled away from her thoughts.
“I was trying to meditate. Trying to reach the power within and take control of it.”
“Sounds difficult,” Galen said.
“Impossible,” she sighed.
“Is this the same power you tapped into when you fought Fiona?” he asked.
Ashleigh nodded.
“So not quite impossible,” he smiled.
“Yea,” Ashleigh chuckled. “But I don’t really think I should repeat that experience.”
“No, of course not,” Galen agreed. “But maybe you could try to replicate the build-up, the events leading up to it. Try to isolate what triggers the power to come forward.”
Ashleigh thought about it for a moment.
The only times she knew that she lost control of the Valkyrie were during her captivity, when she fought Fiona, and when she met Solana.
“You said it’s rage, right?” Galen asked. “Maybe you should try running a simulation of something that makes you angry?”
“I don’t think it’s as simple as rage,” Ashleigh sighed. “I’ve been angry before, I have fought, I have used my berserker rage… it’s not the same.”
Galen thought for a moment before speaking.
“When we train the pups to find the weapon they wish to wield, we make them try every weapon,” he said. “They learn to use it and then spend time with it. Once they know how to use them all, we ask one question. What is different?”
Ashleigh furrowed her brows.
“Your weapon is something you feel instinctually. Even if you don’t know your fighting style or your strength. There is something about holding the right weapon in your hand that feels… correct. Like a missing piece.”
Galen looked at her.
“You are a powerful warrior and wolf. You have abilities unlike any other. So, what is different about this power than the power you recognize?”
Ashleigh thought carefully.
When she was held captive, Granger had used the gas on her. Triggered her mind to create horrible memories and images, trying to force her to tap into her rage.
Though she had taken over, the Valkyrie hadn’t killed the children, and she hadn’t lost control. Instead, she was focused on attacking Granger and, to an extent, Caleb. Because she saw them as a source
of Ashleigh’s rage, her doubt.
That convinced Ashleigh that there was something more to her ability. It wasn’t the same as losing control of her berserker rage.
The second time, Nessa had pushed all of Ashleigh’s buttons, which made her angry. But though she had lost control at the mention of Whiteridge and Shadowcrest, the Valkyrie hadn’t taken control until Fiona tried to force Ashleigh’s submission.
Fiona had assumed it was the Luna in Ashleigh fighting against being controlled. She wasn’t altogether right, but she wasn’t wrong either.
Finally, when Ashleigh had fought against Solana, the Valkyrie had been different, whispering to her the entire time. Pushing her, but Ashleigh didn’t lose control until Solana questioned her resolve… until she doubted her.
The more she thought about it, the more she felt like the Valkyrie had changed with each encounter.
“It feels protective,” Ashleigh whispered.
“Am I supposed to continue to stand back and watch as you allow yourself to be ruled by those who should follow you?”