298 We Don’t Always Know What is Best for Ourselves
Ashleigh had no words to comfort him, all she could do was hold him. He didn't let himself cry, only leaning into her and allowing her to soothe him with her touch and her warmth.
"Caleb," she whispered, "it doesn't have to be right now, or even tomorrow, but you need to find a way to forgive Galen."
Caleb took a deep breath and held to her tighter. Ashleigh smiled, rubbing his back.
"It's hurting you more to be angry with him," she said.
"I don't know how to stop," Caleb whispered. "I just keep thinking… what if I had arrived one minute later."
"Then he would have stopped himself," Ashleigh replied.
"You don't know that," Caleb sighed.
"You should."
He pulled back and looked at her. Ashleigh smiled.
"Galen is your best friend, your brother," she said, touching her hand to his face. "He is Bell's husband, and our Beta."
Caleb leaned into her hand as he listened to her words.
"He's a good man, and I trust him, so do you. You're just scared right now," she said softly. "I'm guessing he is too."
Caleb took a deep breath and then stood up straight. He gave her a gentle smile before saying it was time to return to the party.
***
Galen sat with his back against the wooden headboard. The room around him was dark save for the bits of moonlight that pushed through the sheer curtains of their window. His fingers gently stroked through Bell's hair as she lay sleeping soundly with her head in his lap..
They had spent most of the evening watching old movies and eating snacks. Well, Bell had eaten snacks, Galen had watched her and quietly admired the small smile she would get each time she took a bite of a new flavor.
Apparently, the stories about pregnancy cravings were entirely accurate.
She had fallen asleep before the last movie ended, still holding a pickle in her hand. Galen let out a silent chuckle when he noticed.
The soft hum of his phone buzzing drew his attention. He quickly silenced it, Bell didn't seem to notice.
With the utmost care, he lifted her head off his lap and turned her so she could cuddle the body pillow that lay beside her. She made soft sounds of protest, but after he kissed her shoulder, she settled down.
Galen smiled as he looked down at his sleeping wife.
Then he quietly left the bedroom, phone in hand.
***
"I wasn't sure if you were coming," Axel said, stepping out from beneath a tree as Galen approached.
"I didn't want to wake her," Galen replied.
Axel nodded.
"So, what is it you wanted to ask me?"
Galen took a deep breath and then looked Axel in the eye.
"Is she alright?" he asked.
Axel didn't respond immediately. He took a breath and looked up at the moon before deciding what to say. He looked back at Galen, considering him.
"I'm not asking you to betray her confidence," Galen said. He sighed his frustration. "I'm not even going to ask what the problem is. I just need to know that she's alright."
"For now," Axel sighed.
Galen nodded.
"How'd you know?" Axel asked.
"Because she's acting different, affectionate but careful," Galen sighed. Leaning back against the tree Axel had been under. "She's holding herself back from relaxing around me."
Axel nodded. Knowing Bell, she was afraid to let go, thinking it would make her tell Galen the truth about Roman and her fears. He sighed, wishing that Bell would just trust her husband.
"She's staying at your house, isn't she?" Galen asked.
"It was the safest option," Axel nodded. "Between my parents and I, there is almost always someone that can be there for her."
Galen took another deep breath and leaned his head back against the tree.
Axel could see the pain he was feeling.
"You should tell her, you know," Axel said.
"I can't," Galen sighed.
"Why not?"
"So much of her life has been based on someone else's choices for her," he said. "I want to give her a life of her own choosing. I waited to pursue her until she chose me, I waited to marry her, until she chose me."
Galen paused, taking another deep breath.
"If she's not ready to tell me what's wrong, I won't force her."
Axel listened. He understood. He longed to protect Alice, to rush into Autumn or Spring or wherever the hell she was at and free her from the rabbit hole she was trapped in. To bring her back home with him and spend their lives together.
But Alice had a different plan, and as much as Axel hated the idea of her among the people that caused so much pain to her and everyone else he knew, he trusted that she knew better than he did in this situation, because the sad reality was, this had been her situation for most of her life.
Axel looked at Galen and he felt his pain, his struggle, his desire to protect the one he loved.
But there was one big difference between Alice and Bell.
Alice was planning; she was working her way out of the danger. Bell was hiding from it.
"She chose you," Axel began. "That means she chose all of you. Not just the man that makes her smile or gives her freedom. But the one that loves her, that wants to protect her, that can see through her bullshit.
Galen looked at Axel.
"She already knows that if she wants me here, all she has to do is ask."
Axel sighed.
"There are times when what we need from the person we love is space and the freedom to solve our own problems in our own way," he said. "But there are also times when we need that person to remind us that we don't always know what is best for ourselves. And that we are not alone anymore."
Axel turned to leave.
"Axel…" Galen called.
"Yea?"
"Thank you," Galen said softly.
"Bell loves you. You make her happy. And, you're a good guy," Axel smiled. "Whether she means to or not, Bell will do everything she can to push you away and build a wall between you. But, I'll do what I can to help you hop over it."
Galen laughed and nodded. But then a pang of guilt crept into her mind.
"You should know…." Galen began. "I…Uhm… I almost…"
"You… almost killed my sister?" Axel asked.
Galen looked up with wide eyes and swallowed.
"Yea… I heard."
Axel crossed his arms and observed Galen.
"I have no excuse, Alpha Axel," Galen said, bowing his head.
"You have a pretty good one, actually," Axel said. "From what she said, Ash was close to killing Luna Fiona. And from what Bell tells me, she's practically your mom."
"Ashleigh told you?" Galen asked with surprise. He assumed it would have been Fiona or Corrine.
"As soon as she heard you were visiting," Axel replied. "She didn't want me to hear it from mom or you and misunderstand. She wanted to make sure I understood that she was in the wrong."
Galeb looked away.
"Maybe, but I never should have–"
"You're right," Axel said, stepping toward Galen. "You shouldn't have."
Axel stared at Galen with such intensity that Galen licked his lips nervously.
"I don't like that my sister was threatened, Galen. But if I blame you for threatening her with a knife, what would I need to do to Saul? He almost broke her back a few years ago when they were sparring because Ashleigh refused to tap out."
Galen stared at Axel with confusion.
"You didn't kill her, Galen," he continued. "You didn't even hurt her. So I have no reason to be upset with you about this."
Axel could see that Galen still didn't understand, he was still waiting to be punished for a perceived crime he had committed.
"Galen, there is an actual war that's coming. A full-scale all-out war between the packs, with a potential fae element involved. You are a strong soldier of a pack I am allied with. I'm not risking what you bring to the battle over nothing."
Galen nodded. "I understand."
"Good," Axel said. "I'll be going now."
Galen nodded, and Axel turned to leave. Then he turned back with a smile.
"There is one thing, though," Axel said.
"What?" Galen asked.
"You better tell Bell about it before Ashleigh does," Axel smiled.