149 Not Alone This Time
Ashleigh had spent the better part of the morning before their conversation trying to figure out how to approach the subject of retirement with her father. She knew it was a big decision and one that he wouldn’t be willing to make.
She was shocked by his reaction. He seemed almost relieved by the idea.
Axel, however, was less understanding of the decision.
“This is ridiculous!” Axel shouted angrily.
“Axel, calm down,” Ashleigh said.
“No!”
“You always knew you would be Alpha,” Corrine said calmly.
“Not like this!”
“Would you rather your father died so you could take his place?” Corrine asked.
Axel looked at his mother with disbelief.
“Of course not!” he cried out. “But–”
“Most Alphas never know when it will be their time, and very few have had the opportunity to actually ease into the role,” Corrine interrupted. “You should be grateful.”
“Argh!” Axel let out a frustrated shout.
Axel turned to storm out of the room, but he was blocked by someone standing in the doorway.
“Dad…”
“Axel,” Wyatt said softly. “Come with me. Let’s go for a walk.”
Ashleigh and Corrine looked at each other. Corrine smiled and nodded..
Axel followed Wyatt out the door.
“Is dad really ok with this?” Ashleigh asked as the door closed.
“Come,” Corrine said. “Let’s sit for a moment.”
Ashleigh and Corrine sat down together on the couch. Corrine smiled and took Ashleigh’s hands in her own.
“While you were struggling with your decision about your mate, was it difficult?” Corrine asked.
“Of course,” Ashleigh laughed. “How could it not be?”
“Why was it difficult?”
Ashleigh gave Corrine a look of confusion.
“I didn’t know what to do. I thought I loved Granger. I thought he was the one I was supposed to be with. But, then, when Caleb showed up, everything was different.”
“Did it feel that much different?” Corrine asked.
“Like night and day,” Ashleigh smiled. “With Granger, I felt comfort, warmth, like sitting on this couch. It was home.”
“With Caleb…” Ashleigh smiled brightly and sighed, biting her lip without even realizing it.
Corrine laughed, drawing Ashleigh’s attention.
“Exactly like it should feel,” Corrine said.
Ashleigh laughed.
“It felt right,” Ashleigh said softly.
“But you stayed with Granger,” Corrine said.
Ashleigh looked up at her mother.
“I… already explained…” she said.
“Yes, your duty,” Corrine nodded. “Did your duty comfort you when you witnessed the heartbreak in Caleb’s eyes every time you encountered each other?”
“What?” Ashleigh said, shocked by the comment.
“Did your duty help ease the burden on Granger’s heart as he struggled, knowing the deeper connection you felt towards Caleb? Even when you claimed to love only him?”
“Mom… I…”
“Was it your duty that mended your own heart each time Granger treated you like a lesser being for daring to have feelings outside your own control?”
“Why are you saying all of this?” Ashleigh replied weakly, her eyes glistening from the tears that sprang forth.
Corrine gave Ashleigh a gentle smile and squeezed her hand.
“You were right to react how you did to Caleb at the Blood Moon. You were right to postpone the wedding with Granger. But there came the point, my girl, where you were wrong.”
Ashleigh swallowed down the lump in her throat. She knew she had done so many things wrong. But she didn’t understand why her mother was bringing this up now.
“Could you have continued that charade for years?” she asked. “Could you have lied to the people you love, denied your own sense of right and wrong, let the guilt eat away at you night and day, and still wake up each morning and pretend nothing bothered you?”
Ashleigh had no response to give.
“You and your father are not so different,” she said. “He did the right thing for Bell, but he was wrong to accept the deal Tomas offered.”
Ashleigh looked up at Corrine.
“The guilt has been eating away at him for almost three years,” Corrine said sadly. “Every day, he works harder and harder for this pack. Trying to make up for what he feels is an unforgivable sin.”
Ashleigh chewed her lower lip as her chest swelled with emotion and the tears fell from her eyes.
“Wyatt told himself all these years that he had sacrificed the honor of a dead man for the life of a young woman they both fought to protect,” she continued.
Corrine took a deep breath.
“He has missed Caleb these past few years,” Corrine smiled. “Did you know that Cain wanted the two of you to meet? To see if you might be mates?”
Ashleigh smiled. “Dad mentioned that when he told me what happened to Cain.”
Corrine nodded.
“After he told Caleb about Cain, he said that the two of you should never meet. So he was relieved when you met Granger, not because you were mated to Axel’s Beta, but because you weren’t mated to Caleb. And you wouldn’t be forced to choose between your father and your mate.”
Ashleigh took in a shaky breath.
“The lives we lost in the rogue attack, and later in the fae attack… they will haunt your father for the rest of his life. He knows it was a mistake not to accept the aid that Caleb offered. But he also knows that he wouldn’t have done it differently.”
Corrine looked up at Ashleigh with a smile.
“When you knew that Caleb was your mate, you still let your duty overrule your heart and chose Granger. Because of that, you now have an uphill battle to become Luna of Summer, and I would suspect, some things to work through with Caleb.”
Ashleigh nodded.
“Your father has been drowning over the past few months. The deaths, his honor, his fear. The pressure of it all, he doesn’t trust his own judgment anymore,” Corrine smiled with the slightest pain. “When you suggested retirement, you gave him a breath of air.”
Corrine squeezed Ashleigh’s hands again.
“It’s the right decision,” Corrine said, “one he couldn’t have made without you.”
Ashleigh threw her arms around Corrine’s neck.
Corrine laughed and squeezed her daughter tightly.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, sweetheart,” Corrine said, “After all, now Wyatt has no excuse not to take me on a trip.”
Ashleigh pulled back with a laugh. They chatted comfortably about the places they each wished to go.
It was another hour before Axel and Wyatt returned. But when they did, Axel told his mother and sister that he understood and would do his best as the new Alpha of Winter.
***
“So, I hear Axel finally took the chill pill about being the new boss man,” Bell said, setting down a plate of food in front of Ashleigh.
“Yea,” Ashleigh smiled. “He said he understood and would do his best.”
“Good,” Bell replied, sitting down across from Ashleigh and picking up her fork. “Though, he does know that this changes nothing in terms of how I treat him, right?”
“I’m sure that he is very aware that you will always treat him like a little punk brother, even if he is three years older than you,” Ashleigh laughed.
Bell shrugged with a chuckle and began to eat her pasta.
“Oh, there was something else I meant to tell you about,” Ashleigh said, taking a bite.
“What’s that?” Bell asked.
“Before Dad and I discussed his retirement, we talked about something you’d probably be a little more interested in.”
“Hmm?” Bell asked, her mouth full of pasta.
“Yea,” Ashleigh smiled. “We discussed how neither he nor Axel gets to have any more say in whether or not you pursue any kind of relationship. With Galen or anyone else you choose.”
Bell coughed and choked on her food in surprise.
Ashleigh tried to stifle the laugh.
After drinking a few big gulps of water, Bell cleared her throat.
“Excuse me?” she said, her voice still hoarse.
Ashleigh laughed.
“I asked him why you ended things with Galen. He told me it was his fault. He didn’t want you to get involved with Galen because of your bond to Winter and because he’s Caleb’s Beta. He was afraid that being too close to Caleb would put you at risk or in the spotlight.”
“Which is also a risk,” Bell agreed. “I know all this, Ash. Nothing about any of that has changed.”
“Not yet,” Ashleigh said. “But it will.”
Bell sighed.
“Bell, I am going to figure this out. I am going to find the truth about Cain.”
“That’s great, Ash, but Cain’s truth won’t solve my problem. My mate will still be a threat to me.”
“But we can all protect you,” Ashleigh said, grabbing Bell’s hand across the table.
“You don’t know him,” Bell whispered, pulling her hand away.
“Maybe not,” Ashleigh said. “But I know all the people that care about you, including Caleb and Galen, and I know that none of us would ever let someone hurt you again.”
Bell looked up at her friend. Ashleigh smiled.
“You’re not alone this time.”
Bell smiled. Ashleigh was right; she wasn’t alone anymore.
“Besides,” Ashleigh continued. “What was the point of surviving and starting a new life if you aren’t going to live it?”