Chapter 45: Journey to Chengdu (3)
Dang Soran had to return to Chengdu the day after tomorrow.
However, today as well, she remained quietly holed up in her lodgings without change.
The gentle scent of Mount Emei drifting in through the window, the pleasant chirping of birds—none of it could draw her outside.
At some point, staying cooped up in her room had become the most natural thing for Dang Soran.
“…”
However, the past few days had been different from usual.
She might still be holed up in her room the same as always… but the turmoil within her had miraculously subsided.
And she knew the reason better than anyone.
Han Seojin.
It was because of the strange time she had spent with that man.
“…”
When she thought about it, everything was bizarre.
His methods, his speech, the location.
Above all, had that punishment really been helpful?
Was he truly a heart demon healer, as Cheongwol had said?
She couldn’t say for certain yet, but one thing was clear.
Her mind felt at ease.
Whether her heart demon had shrunk in size, or whether that intense experience from that day had overwhelmed all her senses, it was hard to distinguish… but certainly, in the place where the torment had vanished, a quiet calm had settled.
Ever since that day, the stinging pain that had gnawed at the soles of her feet for over a full day had now completely disappeared.
Even that throbbing ache that had rung out like a reprimand for the ugly disposition within her was gone.
And with that pain gone, a needless sense of guilt seemed to bloom again, making her heart feel uneasy.
Dang Soran lay on the bed lost in thought for a long while… then quietly hardened her resolve.
She slowly rose, changing her clothes with calm movements.
If she let this moment slip by, it would be extremely difficult to meet Han Seojin again.
She didn’t even know when she might return to Mount Emei.
“…”
…So, just one more time, she would go to confirm it.
To verify what that feeling had been, what the true nature of that bizarre punishment was.
Having finished changing, her heart was beating at an strangely rapid pace.
When she thought about it, this was the first time she had ever dressed up of her own accord to meet a man.
The moment she opened the door and stepped out.
Dang Soran made eye contact with her awkwardly standing younger brother, Dang Jiun.
In his hands was a simple meal, prepared with care.
“Big sister.”
Surprise was evident in Dang Jiun’s eyes.
It seemed he hadn’t dreamed she would step out looking ready to go somewhere.
“Where are you going?”
“…”
Dang Soran gazed at her brother for a moment, then whispered as she moved her feet.
“Don’t follow me.”
For some reason, facing her brother felt embarrassing.
Dang Jiun nodded without a word.
Even as she walked away alone, leaving her brother behind, she couldn’t shake off a strange sense of dissonance.
The feeling of hiding something.
But she had no choice.
Who could she possibly explain it to?
Even if it was for resolving her heart demon, she had been dragged to the basement of a mere Leather Room owner, obeyed his overbearing commands, and responded to every word with “Yes, sir” in submission.
She hadn’t noticed in the heat of that space’s atmosphere, but looking back, there had been no more humiliating experience in Dang Soran’s life.
…And yet, she was going back again.
The things she had seen that day wouldn’t leave her mind.
Ropes, blindfolds, whips, handcuffs, collars…
How were those used?
If she asked Han Seojin, he would surely tell her.
“…”
Dang Soran unconsciously swallowed.
Under the pretext of heart demon treatment, how far would Han Seojin demand she go?
What all was included in that man’s treatments?
…And Cheongwol, how much humiliation had she endured—
“Where are you headed?”
“Eek!”
Startled by the voice interrupting her thoughts, Dang Soran flinched.
When she came to her senses, someone was looking down at her right in front of her eyes.
It was Cheongwol.
The first time they had met since that day.
“Cheongwol.”
Cheongwol didn’t repeat her question. She simply posed it again with her quiet gaze.
Why on earth was she here…?
Dang Soran looked behind Cheongwol.
If she followed that path straight ahead, the Leather Room would appear again.
And right now, Cheongwol seemed to be standing there as if deliberately blocking the way.
“…”
Saying outright that she was going to the Leather Room felt strangely shameful.
Wouldn’t admitting it make her seem like a total pervert?
That space where he had smelled her feet and whipped her soles.
What kind of mindset was it to return after being tormented like that?
“You don’t need to know. Why are you here?”
“I was just getting some fresh air.”
Was she really just getting fresh air? She couldn’t shake the feeling that she was blocking the path between her and the Leather Room…
But Cheongwol was composed.
The lofty aura flowing around her somehow made her words seem like the truth.
Dang Soran stared at Cheongwol for a moment, then steeled herself.
She would go to the Leather Room first.
Cheongwol or whoever, she could no longer suppress her curiosity.
“…Then, I’ll be going.”
The moment she tried to pass by Cheongwol—
“That day.”
Cheongwol suddenly mentioned that day.
Dang Soran startled and glanced around.
There was no one to hear, right?
“…What are you doing! Th-that’s not something to talk about outside—”
“You were… a bit foolish.”
Dang Soran’s mouth shut at Cheongwol’s sudden criticism.
Cheongwol wasn’t looking at Dang Soran.
She had already stepped aside from the path, gazing at the distant mountain ridge as she continued softly.
“Unable to resist while getting your soles whipped. I never imagined I’d see you like that.”
“Why bring that up all of a sudden?”
“No reason. It just came to mind.”
“…”
Dang Soran bit her lip hard.
Then, forcing a smile, she countered with words.
“I never imagined the Thousand-Year Flower of the Emei Sect would kneel and obey a man’s commands either.”
“…”
Cheongwol didn’t respond.
However, her expression seemed to waver for a moment.
But it was Dang Soran who lost strength from the brief exchange.
With just those few words, her steps toward the Leather Room grew heavy and distant.
As Cheongwol had said, she must have looked foolish, and Dang Soran could admit that much.
But if she pushed on to the Leather Room without giving up here, it would feel like declaring herself that fool.
Dang Soran naturally turned and changed direction.
She said nothing more to Cheongwol.
The thought that she couldn’t go to the Leather Room because of Cheongwol irked her for no reason.
…Irked?
Dang Soran felt confused by that thought.
Irked because she couldn’t go to the Leather Room?
It surely hadn’t been something she wanted that badly.
As she walked absentmindedly, the scene of the basement suddenly came to mind.
That chilling space.
And Han Seojin’s voice, mocking as he picked up her shoes.
‘…Well, even the young lady of the Tang Clan can’t help it, huh.’
“Ugh…!”
The humiliation from that day stabbed sharply at her intact heart.
Emotions she thought she had forgotten surged back abruptly.
Right.
She couldn’t go.
She would give up.
There was no reason for Dang Soran, the eldest daughter of the Sichuan Tang Clan, to feel that humiliation again.
One experience of sinking to that bottom was enough.
Her time with Han Seojin had never been a pleasant memory to begin with.
It was better to just forget it.
She finished her short outing and returned to her lodgings.
“Big sister. You’re back already—”
“I’m going to rest. Sorry, Jiun.”
Dang Jiun tried to say something, but Dang Soran had no leeway for it.
She lay down on the bed again, hugging her pillow.
…Somehow, her heart felt even more confused now.
****
Amid bustling farewells, formalities, and conversations, the Emei Sect saw off the departing procession of the Sichuan Tang Clan.
Cheongwol watched the long line of the Tang Clan leaving Mount Emei, then let out a sigh of relief.
They were finally gone.
It was as if some worry had lifted, making Cheongwol’s chest feel much lighter.
She looked around.
Was Han Seojin perhaps watching the departing procession as well?
“…”
But she couldn’t find him.
He was probably rotting away alone in that gloomy Leather Room today as usual.
That’s why he had to be such a loner.
Even as she criticized him like that, deep down, Cheongwol didn’t entirely dislike that he was alone.
Perhaps she was arbitrarily feeling a sense of kinship because he was like her.
Cheongwol’s greed was simply this: to keep going just like this… undisturbed by others, unknown.
Just until her heart demon was truly resolved.
“…”
…But could she really eliminate her heart demon?
When she thought of it being resolved and parting from Han Seojin…
…that uncomfortable emotion rippled again?
Cheongwol shook off her worries and began ascending Mount Emei again.
There was nothing to think about now.
The important thing was that in just a few days, she could visit Han Seojin again.
And for a while after, they would continue that relationship bit by bit, as usual.
And in that moment, a voice pierced her ears.
“Hey, lend me some straw rope at least. I’m in a hurry!”
Hearing “straw rope” made her react, and Cheongwol sensed that a sordid change had come over her too.
“We barely have enough for ourselves!”
Two men were quarreling.
Cheongwol moved her steps, unwittingly glancing lightly at the scene.
“You should’ve saved some! I told you I was stepping away briefly!”
“Did it snap? I didn’t know it would either! Don’t be like that, just lend me some. Or do I have to carry those branches from the mountain by hand one by one? We need to tie them to be efficient!”
Cheongwol detected a faint oddity in their conversation.
She slowly got drawn into the two men’s squabble.
“If you use up mine too, what am I supposed to do? No. I can’t lend any.”
“By then that young man will be back! Stop worrying and lend me some! Don’t you have any loyalty?”
Cheongwol tilted her head.
“…Huh?”
The men shouted loudly.
“How can you be sure he’ll be back!”
“That’s—”
“The Leather Room owner never said when he’d return!”
Cheongwol’s heart sank.
And only then did a vague realization dawn about why the Leather Room had been closed yesterday when she looked down from the Hyunbi Hermitage.
Pop!
“Huh? Wol! Where are you going!”
Unknowingly, Cheongwol was breaking away from the ascending Emei Sect procession.
Forgetting his words not to come looking, Cheongwol walked briskly, almost jogging.
The Leather Room visible in the distance.
And in front of it, two Beggars’ Sect beggars sprawled out.
“Junior Sister Cheongwol?”
The Leather Room door was firmly shut. Even the windows that were usually wide open were closed.
…No. He must be inside.
Where could a mere Leather Room owner go?
What reason would he have to leave somewhere?
…Still, she had to check.
Cheongwol pushed open the closed Leather Room door.
“J-Junior Sister, what are you doing!”
The beggars shouted in panic.
“…Ah.”
And what she found was an empty space.
Cheongwol quietly surveyed the silent Leather Room.
Han Seojin was nowhere to be seen.
And with his disappearance.
…that thick, violent something that had been dormant lately began to creep back in.
“…J-Junior Sister? How…”
…Had he run away?
Because she hadn’t kept her promises too well?
Or because during their last play, she had stood up without looking at the wall despite his permission?
Or because she had involved Dang Soran?
Or because she had slammed the basement door too roughly that time?
Whatever it was…
“Where did he go?”
Before she knew it, the icy voice from when she had slaughtered twenty bandits flowed from her.
A voice so cold it startled even herself.
However, she couldn’t stop it.
Nor did she have any intention to.
She turned to the beggars.
Cheongwol asked again.
“…The owner. Where did he go?”
…Whatever the reason, Cheongwol could not accept this farewell.
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