Martial Arts Masochist

“………………Who?”

Dang Soran asked, and Han Seojin answered.

“My… childhood friend and the woman who will become my wife.”

“This lady?”

“Yes.”

Dang Soran stared blankly at Ga Yeong-li for a long while.

…You?

Han Seojin?

This handsome man with such a fine body, who could even be brave at times.

…This plain woman?

Dang Soran’s common sense felt like it was crumbling.

Had their worlds been this far apart?

Did common folk like this take as wives the people they grew up with right beside them?

Even if they didn’t match at all.

Dang Soran’s prospective grooms had come from all across the Central Plains.

So naturally, she had assumed people generally paired with those who matched them.

But what was this?

Wasn’t it too unfair?

Then some could connect with him just for being born by his side, without any effort.

While others, born far away, could never connect with him.

“Ah, you two don’t match at all.”

Dang Soran couldn’t hold back and blurted it out.

“Pardon?”

Regaining her senses late, she spat out an excuse.

“W-well, Ga Yeong-li lady is too good for him, isn’t she? Lady, are you really okay with this? Taking such a plain man as your husband? Don’t do it, think again—”

Ga Yeong-li clung even tighter to Han Seojin’s arm and replied.

“I—it’s fine. So please don’t speak ill of Seojin-i.”

“…Seojin-i?”

Dang Soran staggered for a moment and clutched her forehead.

Her heart was pounding too hard.

Were the two of them just messing around right now?

Did this even make sense?

Dang Soran had always gotten whatever she wanted in life.

The problem was that even those things she obtained that way brought her little thrill.

She’d get bored quickly, her interest fading just as fast, over and over.

Then Han Seojin had entered her quiet life like a massive wave.

But now Ga Yeong lady was saying she couldn’t have him.

No, she didn’t want to possess him… Still, by my side…

“…Lady?”

Faced with this sudden bewildering situation, Dang Soran felt disbelief and anger rising.

“Are you joking with me right now? I mean, I’ve never even seen you two talking in the village?”

“Well… we’ve kept our relationship a secret—”

“—I don’t want to hear it! I won’t believe it.”

But the words “secret relationship” did ring a bell.

Her own relationship with Cheongwol had always been kept secret, as had his with her.

Dang Soran felt a mischievous streak bubbling up.

“Th-Then…! Then you two… kiss.”

“Pardon?”

“Then I’ll believe you. Do it quick.”

Han Seojin and Ga Yeong-li’s eyes met for a moment.

Feeling a sharp pang at the sight, Dang Soran took back her words.

“Ah, no. Don’t. I was joking too.”

So… without defiling Han Seojin…

“F-Feed her your saliva.”

This time, Ga Yeong was the one flustered.

“P-Pardon?”

“I mean saliva—”

Slap!

At that moment, as if stung, Han Seojin covered Dang Soran’s mouth.

He was smiling, but cold sweat beaded on his forehead.

“Lady. What are you saying to my wife…”

Dang Soran looked at Han Seojin and thought.

He hasn’t done it.

He hasn’t fed her saliva.

He’s hiding his true self. So it’s just a facade of a relationship.

I’ve shared deeper exchanges with him. We’ve shown each other our ugly sides.

At the same time, feeling wronged, Dang Soran’s nose stung.

Han Seojin pressed close and whispered.

“Lady, if you say things like that outside…”

Dang Soran pried his hand away with both of hers and whispered back.

“What is this right now?”

“Pardon?”

“You ruined all my engagements…! I did all those things to me and now marriage? Are you kidding?”

“…W-when did I ever want to do those things? Lady Dang asked me to resolve your heart demon—”

“—Then what about feeding me saliva?”

“–_–”

“You didn’t say a word about resolving a heart demon back then? You came to me first and toyed with me as you pleased.”

“…You’re right,” an expression like that flitted across Han Seojin’s face.

Dang Soran had nothing more to say.

Continuing would make her cry.

“After doing that to me, if you think you can live happily, you’re mistaken. Just wait, I’ll peel Ga Yeong lady right off of you…! I told you, Young Master, you’d live alone forever…”

Slap!

Soon, Dang Soran shoved Han Seojin away and fled.

She couldn’t understand why their long-awaited reunion had gone like this.

****

Cheongwol faced the Shaolin Abbot, Beophae.

She had been summoned before the Murim Alliance Leader, but couldn’t guess the reason.

Of course, she already knew the Abbot’s expectations were great.

Even at their first meeting in the past, the subtle expectations had weighed heavily on her shoulders like a burden.

Beophae seated her and launched into a long speech.

Cheongwol just nodded, letting it flow in one ear and out the other.

Yes. Yes. Pretending to understand, her mindset was similar to when facing Muwol Satae.

Anyway, right now, her heart burned black with anguish over Han Seojin, leaving no room for other thoughts.

“There is worry in your eyes.”

At that moment, Beophae spoke softly.

Cheongwol couldn’t stop her expression from crumbling briefly.

“Speak your heart freely, Cheongwol. Some worries lighten just by spitting them out.”

Beophae’s voice was gentle.

Not as Shaolin Abbot, Murim Alliance Leader, or one of the Three Reverends—just as an elder concerned for a junior.

“–_–”

Was it from the countless feelings of disillusionment so far?

From finally realizing bone-deep what it meant to live as a nun?

From feeling like she was going mad over Han Seojin?

Suddenly, Cheongwol spat out the truth she had never shared with anyone.

“Abbot. Any anguish is fine?”

“It is fine.”

“You won’t report it to my Sect Leader?”

“Worry not. This conversation will never leave this room.”

Cheongwol bowed her head briefly, then burst out her pent-up feelings.

“If… if a man has taken root in my heart, what should I do?”

Beophae answered without hesitation, unshaken.

“What do you want to do?”

“I’m asking because I don’t know.”

“There are two paths. One is to sort out your feelings—”

“—I can’t do that. It’s not my will. Already you know, don’t you, Abbot? The Demonic Cult’s shadow reached even me. I wanted to follow them time and again… but looking back, it was him that kept me here. Who knows—if not for that meeting, I might have become a public enemy of the martial world too.”

“–_–”

Beophae fell silent at her confession, then burst into hearty laughter.

The laugh grated on Cheongwol like mockery.

“…My apologies. It’s not mockery. I was just surprised to finally see the fire within you. Yes, your colors are too vibrant to call a Buddha’s heart yet. Asceticism is, after all, a life of washing away one’s own colors.”

Cheongwol had no reply.

“Cheongwol.”

Beophae’s voice sank again.

“There is one other way. Return to lay life, cripple your dantian, sever your meridians, and leave the Emei Sect.”

“…!!”

Cheongwol couldn’t help but be shocked by Beophae’s straightforward answer.

She had expected stuffy old lessons like from Muwol Satae, but he offered an unhesitating solution.

“Then nothing would block your path ahead. People have paths just by being alive. Crippling your dantian or severing meridians doesn’t mean death. You could find a new life. If the time with him feels more precious than all the sacrifices you’ve made so far, choosing that is also a path.”

“–_–”

Then, Beophae lowered his voice.

His downcast eyes widened slightly, gazing straight at Cheongwol.

“But first, I must ask one thing. Does that man hold you in his heart as well?”

“…Ugh.”

Unknowingly, Cheongwol clenched her fists and bowed her head.

Her black hair fell, covering her face.

By his side was always Ga Yeong lady.

There was no room for her to insert herself, and recalling that made her chest tighten painfully.

She couldn’t contain the surging anger.

“And if he does hold you dear, are you confident he won’t hate your changed self?”

“Pardon?”

Han Seojin had said he hated martial artists.

So if she stopped being one…

“Have you never imagined that because you’re the Thousand-Year Flower, he treats you accordingly? If you wash your hands and become an ordinary woman… can you swear he’ll treat you the same as before?”

Cheongwol had no answer.

If I lose all my martial arts?

…Would Han Seojin welcome me like before?

There had always been an unspoken uncomfortable truth: she was using Han Seojin’s fear.

Having shown him so much killing, it was inevitable he feared her.

Even before they grew this close, hadn’t Han Seojin said it many times?

Martial artists are scary, I hate them. And she had exploited that.

Counting numbers… that was a form of threat using his psyche.

But if she lost her martial arts?

If the reason he feared her vanished?

Would he still meet her like now?

Wouldn’t he push her away instead, pretending not to know her for real?

-Thump… thump… thump…

Just that possibility made Cheongwol’s heart ache.

Thinking the reason he met her now was her power, not her as a person… suddenly their distance felt vast.

She had thought their bond was pure, unlike Ga Yeong-li’s.

Now she saw it was the opposite: she wasn’t pure, Ga Yeong-li was.

That difference might be why Han Seojin chose Ga Yeong-li.

“Th-Then… what should I…”

Cheongwol’s voice shook.

Beophae closed his eyes, then slowly spoke.

“Didn’t I already say? Fold your heart, leave him as an old memory. That is the unavoidable training and pain for a Buddha’s heart. But if you refuse that to the end, leaving Emei is also a path.”

He paused, then added as a senior who had sat aside his monk’s seat.

“But Cheongwol, before choosing, you must be absolutely certain. That even as a cripple… that man will love you in the end.”

Cheongwol’s hands trembled.

The wall of reality she faced was too high.

However, Cheongwol bowed her head.

“Thank you, Abbot.”

Yet a third unspoken path lingered in Cheongwol’s mind.

She had no intention of giving up her heart. Nor confidence he’d love her as a cripple.

With two paths left, why not forge a new one?

…Leave Emei on my own, then Han Seojin…

****

One day before the Dragon-Phoenix Assembly.

The village was packed with people, no room to step anywhere.

Countless folk had come to see the new dragon and phoenix, martial artists to participate, merchants scouting for sales…

Naturally, Bang Biyeon Uncle appeared too.

We met at a small teahouse.

“Lord Bang. Long time no see.”

“…Hm? Young Hero Han. You really keep that beginner’s mind well. Still dressing so shabby?”

“No money left after some business.”

“–_–”

Bang Biyeon Uncle’s face stiffened briefly.

For the first time, suspicion that he’d allied with a weirdo showed on his face.

“Don’t worry. It was an investment. Didn’t spend on anything weird.”

“…Even investments—you need to eat to live, not wander like a beggar…”

“Anyway, Lord Bang. Not why I brought it up. As I mentioned in the letter before, I think we really need a lot of money now…”

“Ah, yes you did. But not for here. How to find a brothel on sacred Mount Song?”

“Not that. If you send those artisans you mentioned quickly, I’ll teach them the tricks to make more clothes and goods.”

“That sounds good. But Young Hero, let’s talk later. We’re busy still. Don’t you know tomorrow’s the Dragon-Phoenix Assembly? No festival more exciting!”

“…I’d rather money than—”

“Ah, come on! Where people gather, money flows! Don’t you know this is a chance for a huge score?”

“…Pardon?”

Bang Biyeon Uncle shed his usual sternness, looking like a middle-aged man thrilled by a game.

Just like someone obsessed with sports.

“…Gambling!”

He whispered.

And at that word, my ears perked up.

“Gambling needs a house! We open the house! No losing fight. Just hype the crowd, skim a little commission…”

“…But opening the house is one thing—can I play too?”

“Nah, don’t. House always wins in the end.”

“Still. I could if I wanted?”

“…Sure, no issue. We brought your share anyway. Thanks to you, Cheonghwa Merchant Group is soaring like winged. With Hao Gate’s full backing, nothing better. Your merit’s huge, so we set aside a portion of profits for you. Half a chest of silver taels ready.”

“–_–”

****

Tomorrow was the Dragon-Phoenix Assembly, but Cheongwol couldn’t find her strength.

Why push hard tomorrow?

It would just add pressure.

With greater anguish than the Assembly weighing her down, she couldn’t fathom focusing on it.

Should she just forfeit and rest?

That didn’t sound bad.

She lacked energy. Just limp and soggy.

She veiled her face and wandered the lower village.

Plenty showed anticipation.

Becoming their spectacle wasn’t pleasant.

She kept rethinking Emei’s meaning.

Then, a familiar voice rang out from somewhere.

“Come!! Gather round! Tomorrow, no chance! Big money opportunity!! All gather and join! Who’ll be phoenix, who dragon!! Who to support and cheer!! Hurry, time’s short! Come in!!”

Cheongwol squinted for a better look.

“…Shopkeeper?”

Han Seojin stood before a large board, shouting at the top of his lungs.

Before him, men swung coin pouches every which way.

Han Seojin beamed brightly.

His large build made his voice carry far and wide.

Beside him, Bang Biyeon and his underlings scribbled furiously in ledgers.

Han Seojin fanned the hype louder.

“What upset in this tournament? You there, uncle! No pushing! Yes! Good, one silver on Muryong! Step up and sign! Who’ll Ten iron on Shaolin’s Damhae!”

Running a gambling den?

Lately, even his earning lots of money irked her.

Wasn’t all that effort ultimately for Ga Yeong-li?

…No, for Namgung Yeon?

Since he was donating it all.

Why show no interest in her, but devotion to Ga Yeong-li and Namgung Yeon?

Cheongwol first realized she could be jealous of a man too.

“–_–”

Then curiosity struck.

Han Seojin, always yelling about money. Had he bet in this?

If so, on whom?

A strange heat welled within her.

Veiled, Cheongwol pushed through the crowd to Han Seojin.

“Come on, no pushing! You there, lady! Slowly…”

Cheongwol and Han Seojin’s eyes met.

Even through the veil, he recognized her.

These trivial moments delighted Cheongwol.

They felt like proof of their bond.

The knot of bad mood loosened a bit.

That’s why she didn’t know what to do.

Meeting Han Seojin sometimes built unbearable knots, but only he could untie them.

Like his own knot. He bound her, and only he could loose her.

Han Seojin raised a hand to pause, then squatted.

On a wooden crate, squatting brought their eyes level.

“Wol-a. Why here…?”

“…Came to see what the shopkeeper’s doing.”

“Uh… Making money. Part of why I came.”

“…For Namgung Yeon? Or…”

“Shh. For the Namgung Family, yeah. But quiet.”

Surrounded by noise, their talk turned intimate.

Men around Cheongwol busily picked bets from the board.

Then, a spark ignited in Cheongwol’s heart.

She’d rarely done anything for Han Seojin.

Wasn’t this her chance?

“…Shopkeeper.”

“Yeah?”

“…Bet on me. Big.”

“–_–”

Cheongwol stared straight at Han Seojin.

“I’ll make you big money. I’ll win somehow to the end.”

“–_–”

“And in return… grant me one request. Not a hard one.”

“What request?”

Cheongwol took a deep breath and whispered.

“…Play our game once.”

It was the only way she knew to grow closer.

She knew about Ga Yeong-li, which made her want it more.

The Shaolin Abbot’s words kept brushing her mind.

“If you win it all… one game?”

“Yeah.”

Han Seojin looked desperate for money.

Her vow to try pleased him.

“—Two?”

“Ah, haha. No-no. Let’s do that.”

“Really? If I win it all…”

“Yeah. Deal.”

Only then did Cheongwol feel her will ignite.

No stronger fire possible.

“But you really have to win it all. Got it?”

“…Got it. Shopkeeper. So bet on me? We’ll cheer my win together?”

Cheongwol turned to leave after those words, but…

“Right.”

Han Seojin’s follow-up held her.

Scratching his head, he said.

“…But actually, I already bet on you.”

“Huh? On wh—”

“—Everything I have, on you. That you’ll win.”

Pondering that briefly, Cheongwol’s legs gave out, and she plopped down.

“Ch-Cheongwol-a?”

“Ugh… ugh…”

Cheongwol slipped a hand under her veil to cover her face, trembling.

Not Dang Soran. Not Muryong, not Mount Hua’s Baekdam, Shaolin’s Damhae. Not Namgung Family’s Namgung Yeon, nor any other late-generation talent. Her.

Was there happiness like the trust from someone she adored?

Emotions kept somersaulting.

One moment furious enough to go mad, the next melting in bliss.

Cheongwol rubbed her eyes and stood.

She said.

“Watch, shopkeeper. I’ll show you.”

****

Dang Soran sat alone in her room, organizing poisons and hidden weapons.

That wish token from her father.

The one granting any request.

Ga Yeong-li and Han Seojin’s figures.

“–_–”

Swish.

Dang Soran eyed her hidden weapon.

For now, she decided how to use that wish token if she got it.