Chapter 123: No Choices Here (2)
…This old lady’s speech is polite, but she just spits out unpleasant crap, doesn’t she?
Am I the one approaching her?
She said that kid’s approaching!!
I don’t like it either! I’m scared too!
Take her away!
Why give advice after suddenly coming down?
“…”
However, after cooling my head and thinking it through calmly, I could understand Muwol Satae’s suspicions to some extent.
This village—no, anywhere I go, I don’t attract attention.
And unlike me, Cheongwol draws people’s gazes wherever she is, whenever.
If the two of us are friends, anyone would think I approached her first.
Come to think of it, even Honghwa thought that way.
Moreover, Cheongwol was probably raised to keep her distance from men from the start.
In fact, whether she hates them or is just cautious, there are no other men close to her anyway.
…So, just the fact that she got involved with me was enough to naturally direct the arrows of suspicion toward me.
Muwol Satae spoke again.
“I sincerely ask that you remain merely healthy friends.”
I opened my mouth as calmly as possible.
“…No need to worry.”
But my voice came out a bit curt.
They say people can endure anything except feeling wronged, and I seemed to be the same.
Only the nun is pure, and I look like a guy completely mad with lust?
…Well, I am mad with lust, but anyway, it’s not directed at Cheongwol.
She’s the type who’d cut it off if it stood up…
Muwol Satae rose from her seat and bowed deeply to me.
“N-No, please don’t.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m sorry for making such an unreasonable request.”
“…”
Seeing her apology at the end eased my queasy feelings a bit, but I still felt just as wronged and annoyed.
Soon enough, she moved as if she had said all she wanted.
Creeeak…
As the door opened, Cheongwol stood waiting in front, with Bang Biyeon behind her.
Cheongwol was only watching my expression.
…What. Don’t look at me. The Sect Leader said to stay away from you.
Actually, this works out well.
I’ve been struggling with the weird distance that’s grown between us lately, but now I have an excuse to keep away from her too.
Muwol Satae said to Bang Biyeon.
“I hope I didn’t disturb your conversation.”
Bang Biyeon replied with a kind smile.
“No, it wasn’t anything majorly important.”
Then came another pointless question.
“I see. May I ask what you were discussing?”
Bang Biyeon said at the end.
“Oh, I was suggesting that Young Master Han move here. He doesn’t have family on Mount Emei, so wouldn’t it be more convenient for everyone if he stayed in the camp—?”
“—Move?”
At that moment, Cheongwol, who had been silent for a while, cut in lowly.
The fidgeting, expression-watching girl was gone, and her eyes had coldly descended.
“…Shopkeep, you’re moving?”
“…”
…Ha, fuck.
I’m going crazy.
After getting scratched up by Muwol Satae like that, I’d decided to keep my distance from Cheongwol.
…But now, looking at her eyes, I froze again.
Her gaze darkening more with each moment was too scary.
It was as if she was saying.
Is that true?
****
That shocking story was the decisive blow.
Cheongwol had been holding back.
No, she prided herself on holding back a lot.
It had been nearly fifty days since the play had stopped.
That meant plenty of time had been given for her heart demon to swell again.
Didn’t Han Seojin worry about his own heart demon at all? He hadn’t even suggested playing.
Quietly. Obediently.
She’d been waiting like a good girl until he brought it up, but he showed no sign of it.
Maybe that was the problem.
During heart demon treatment, she now knew unconditional trust toward each other was necessary.
Wasn’t the play only possible by completely surrendering herself to Han Seojin?
Without moments to feel that closeness, maybe that’s why the rift had formed and grown between them?
All sorts of problems were piling up, wearing Cheongwol down.
First, dozens of days apart from him.
Then, the traces of Dang Soran left on Han Seojin’s body.
After that, spending time in the valley, their relationship seemed to improve… but annoying Honghwa’s interference.
Followed by gossip leading to Han Seojin’s anger.
She was aiming for reconciliation, but then attention poured onto Han Seojin right on cue.
Taking advantage of the gap between her and Han Seojin, countless greedy women eyeing him.
On top of that, pressure from the Sect Leader.
…And finally, the fact that he might move away.
It felt like it snapped something in her rationality.
No.
Maybe because he abandoned her and didn’t resolve her heart demon, it had grown.
It wasn’t her problem. It was Han Seojin’s heart demon he hadn’t managed.
That heart demon started rampaging.
“…Shopkeep. Are you moving?”
“…”
Han Seojin didn’t answer right away.
If not, he could just say no immediately—why hesitate?
Then.
If Han Seojin leaves.
…What about her, left behind on Mount Emei?
Would she have to survive alone again among those senior brothers?
Would she have to spend another day biting her lip in silence, enduring the Sect Leader and her master’s pressure?
Did that mean even the sweet respite with Han Seojin wasn’t allowed?
Why did it have to be like this?
Was that desire too much?
Just wanting to breathe a little?
At that moment, Muwol Satae and Bang Biyeon quietly talked behind them.
“Did Young Master Seojin respond to the proposal?”
“…He didn’t. Right at that moment, the Sect Leader arrived…”
“…Hm.”
Muwol Satae took a deep breath, then gently pushed Cheongwol inside the house.
“…Sect Leader?”
“Talk it out seriously together for a bit. We’ll stay far away.”
Muwol Satae then looked only at Han Seojin and said.
“…Young Master Seojin. I believe you’ll make the right choice.”
Creeeak…thud.
And the door closed.
“…”
“…”
Now alone, Cheongwol didn’t know what to do.
The frustrating fact that he was still angry at her resurfaced.
But she couldn’t hesitate.
“…Don’t move away, Shopkeep.”
“…”
“Stay here.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, then let out a long sigh as Han Seojin looked up at Cheongwol.
Cheongwol knew she couldn’t even control her own expression.
“Maybe it’s time for me to leave too.”
“Shopkeep…!!”
Her heart ached sharply.
She’d applied the Fragrance of Following, but that just gave her the ability to chase him.
It didn’t give her the ability to stay by his side.
Cheongwol’s nest was Mount Emei, and that couldn’t change.
If he left, she’d have to just watch.
But Han Seojin continued calmly.
“I said my dream is to get rich. I heard my value’s rising in the camp. No family, and traveling back and forth for connections is tough. Maybe it’s wiser for me to move.”
…And there, in places I don’t know.
Just watch him make new connections?
Cheongwol had no intention of staying powerless like that.
“Shopkeep. I said don’t move.”
“Cheongwol. I’m still mad at you. Let’s not start fighting again?”
“We’ll talk about that later. This is about moving. Promise properly. Say you won’t move.”
“I haven’t decided yet… but what’s the reason for me not to go?”
“You grew up on Mount Emei…! How can you abandon your hometown so easily?”
“People originally go where it’s better to live. You saying I should live more uncomfortably because of sentiment?”
“Even your Beggars’ Sect uncles are here. What about them?”
“I can visit occasionally. It’s not a big problem.”
“Who suddenly announces something like this!!”
“I’m not saying I’m leaving suddenly. I’m saying I’ll look for the chance to leave.”
“Ugh…!”
Every word blocked her off.
Emotions with nowhere to go tangled up in her chest.
In the end, Cheongwol bit her lip and shouted.
“I…!”
A sigh-like utterance.
That outburst of a confession.
“I… I’m here. You said you wouldn’t push me away…”
But even that had no effect on Han Seojin.
“It’s not pushing you away. Even if we distance ourselves, we’ll still be friends.”
Han Seojin’s words were probably right.
Even so, the emotion Cheongwol felt was one thing.
I hate it.
That fact alone was crystal clear, achingly vivid.
Not vaguely unpleasant or slightly uncomfortable.
She hated it to the point of no compromise.
What was the cause?
Was it hating him leaving because her heart demon might grow?
Or was the heart demon itself driving her to act like this?
Or maybe because she hadn’t built trust with him lately, he wanted distance too?
She couldn’t know the answer.
But in the confused situation, only one solution came to her mind.
“…Shopkeep.”
Her lips slowly parted.
She opened her mouth, but words didn’t come easily.
Han Seojin watched her curiously.
“I can feel… my heart demon writhing right now.”
“…”
“In this state… I absolutely can’t allow you to leave, Shopkeep.”
Her eyes shook as she spoke.
Anxiety and anger mixed within.
Bang Biyeon and the Sect Leader were outside.
She remembered that, so these were words she shouldn’t say.
But right now, she had no leeway to mind them.
She didn’t want to, but she had to pull out her last resort.
“…Let’s play here.”
“What?”
“Suppress my heart demon… here. Or stay on Mount Emei.”
A rare crack appeared on Han Seojin’s face.
“What are you suddenly talking about…?”
Cheongwol answered as calmly as she could.
But her voice was thin and trembling.
“My heart demon grew this big… because you kept neglecting me, Shopkeep…”
She lowered her head.
“So it’s your fault, Shopkeep…”
Her words trailed off quietly, but the emotion was clear.
“Whether you resolve my heart demon here and get caught by the Sect Leader, or stay on Mount Emei… choose one.”
Novel Full