Martial Arts Masochist

Search day 30.

“Why won’t it show up? Why!!”

Dang Soran watched Han Seojin’s back from a distance as he kicked the crate over and over, fuming.

“…”

A sharp tingle ran through her hands. Her heart pounded.

She couldn’t claim to have lived a pure and innocent life up until now… but this time, she was undoubtedly committing a clear wrong.

She’d already secured the goal, yet she’d hidden it just to spend a little more time together.

Because of her actions, Han Seojin was growing more frustrated by the day.

He’d endured unnecessary hardship for several more days.

Dang Soran thought to herself.

…If you knew about this, what would you do to me?

The past 30 days they’d spent together all came flooding back.

It had been fun.

That single word summed it up.

Time spent with a lowborn who didn’t match her status had been nothing but pure joy for Dang Soran.

The food they’d eaten together. The steps they’d taken side by side.

The jokes they’d shared. The time they’d spent clinging to each other…

The last 15 days, they might as well have slept feeling each other’s warmth every night.

Though they were friends, Dang Soran loved that warmth.

Had she ever imagined she could sleep so comfortably with a friend, without any pretense?

Had she ever thought she could find such a friend in the first place?

When everyone bowed their heads at the mere mention of Dang Soran’s name?

Honestly, somewhere deep in Dang Soran’s heart, Han Seojin had already taken root.

Just as he sprawled out on the floor anywhere, he’d wandered into her heart, lain down as he pleased, and was scratching his belly contentedly.

But if he found out she’d hidden the Detoxification Immortal Root…

…How angry would he get? How frightening would he become?

Perhaps his arrogance would shatter, and he’d look at her with cold eyes.

“…Haa… Hoo…”

That thought brought a stinging discomfort to Dang Soran.

She’d tried to deny it.

Me? Why would I…?

The eldest daughter of the great Tang Clan of Sichuan, Poison Phoenix Dang Soran—what could she possibly lack that she’d worry about the gaze of that poor man?

Bang!

Han Seojin kicked the crate, smashing it.

Dang Soran flinched at the sound.

He seemed to hurt his foot and hopped around clutching it, but Dang Soran’s heart thumped wildly.

She couldn’t hide the Detoxification Immortal Root forever.

Someday, she’d have to tell him the truth.

Should she just… tell him now?

Dang Soran slipped her hand into her sleeve to touch the Detoxification Immortal Root…

“…This is driving me crazy, seriously. Where the hell is it…”

But seeing Han Seojin, she let her hand drop.

Just one more day together.

Really, just one more day.

But the day passed.

Even after two days, her lingering attachment didn’t fade—instead, it deepened.

She didn’t want to go back.

If she did, she’d return to that boring room in the Tang Clan of Sichuan.

Han Seojin would head back to Mount Emei, and they’d spend years without knowing when they’d meet again.

In the meantime, Cheongwol would grow even closer to Han Seojin.

“…”

Was it because of the past 30 days?

Though it was a feeling she’d never had before, thinking of Cheongwol spending time with Han Seojin made her clench her fists.

Han Seojin and Cheongwol weren’t just hanging out.

They’d surely do that too.

That perverse act… with Cheongwol.

Suddenly, Dang Soran felt absurd.

Wasn’t Cheongwol a nun? How could the most renowned female monk fall into such acts?

For Cheongwol’s sake, she should keep her distance from Han Seojin.

Day 33, midday.

Dang Soran watched Han Seojin sitting blankly by the fire.

She could sense the word “give up” floating in his mind.

It made her anxious.

Dang Soran scooted right up next to Han Seojin and placed her hand on his thigh.

“Hm?”

Han Seojin snapped to attention and gently pushed her hand away.

“What’s wrong, Young Lady?”

“…”

Dang Soran looked down at her rejected hand.

…Lately, it felt like she was getting upset more often over his smallest actions.

On impulse, she asked.

“Young Master. Have you ever thought about becoming a retainer of the Tang Clan of Sichuan?”

“…Pardon?”

Thinking about it, if he left Mount Emei to become a Tang Clan retainer, everything would be solved.

Then she wouldn’t have to deceive him anymore. She could give him the Detoxification Immortal Root.

“No… I just suddenly felt sorry for you. You’re poor, ugly, a pervert… You’ll end up alone forever like that, right?”

“That’s not something for you to worry about, is it?”

“I know, but it’s still pitiful.”

At that, Han Seojin’s eyes fixed steadily on Dang Soran.

She liked it. In that moment of provocation, his attention was on her.

“Oh? You’re mad. Right? You just got angry, didn’t you?”

“Don’t worry about my affairs. Someday I’ll meet a decent woman who tells me I’m handsome, and we’ll live happily ever after.”

“Idiot. Who’d ever say that to you? Stop it and come live with us.”

Honestly, he wasn’t that bad-looking, but teasing him was fun, so she kept going.

No, maybe if he washed clean like at the lake back then, and tidied his hair…

Han Seojin pouted and cautiously asked.

“…Am I really that ugly?”

“I don’t know about anything else, but your crushing poverty is the biggest flaw. Women like reliable men, you know. But how can you protect anyone without money? Look, even now, all you’ve fed me for days is porridge.”

“You ate it well enough.”

“Yeah. If it weren’t for me, it wouldn’t have worked. Cheongwol would’ve gotten mad for sure.”

“Why bring up Cheongwol Young Lady?”

…Yeah, why did I?

But she kept popping into the corner of her mind.

Maybe because Cheongwol had met and befriended Han Seojin first.

“Since you became friends with me, I’ll take special responsibility. You’ve got good handiwork. Join our Tang Clan workshop. You can’t make poison, but you could forge weapons.”

Han Seojin gazed up at the sky, lost in thought for a moment.

Thinking she was persuading him, Dang Soran put more enthusiasm into it.

“Right? Young Master. Let’s do that. Eat together like now, go for walks sometimes… Uh, sometimes even nap together—”

“—I’ll pass.”

Han Seojin spoke.

Thud—Dang Soran’s heart seemed to drop.

…He’s refusing this?

People desperate to become Tang Clan retainers were a dime a dozen.

It guaranteed a life of luxury.

…And he’s refusing?

“…”

…It had been a long time since something didn’t go her way.

“As I said, I have no desire to get involved with the martial world. Besides…”

Han Seojin rattled off various excuses.

But none of it reached Dang Soran’s ears.

The color emanating from Han Seojin faded bit by bit.

And as that color lost its light… an inexplicable frustration and anger began to bloom in her chest.

****

…What the hell?

Day 33, early evening.

Dang Soran’s demeanor had changed.

I looked around at the bandits scattered everywhere.

After breaking through countless bandit lairs, I could now somewhat follow Dang Soran’s movements.

But just now, it was rougher than anything she’d shown in any other lair.

Just look at the bandits’ reactions.

Unlike the previous ones vomiting or rolling around dizzy… these guys lay silent, not a peep.

Unconscious or poisoned beyond standing… they didn’t even twitch.

That made the whole lair feel twice as eerie.

“…Haa… Haa…”

Dang Soran’s breathing was ragged too.

She never got this worked up normally.

What had changed? I couldn’t figure it out.

“Young Lady Soran, are you alright?”

Dang Soran glanced at me.

I froze at that look in her eyes.

One thing I’d realized over the past 30 days with her: martial artists and civilians like me were completely different breeds.

If they were carnivores, I was an herbivore.

They could kill someone like me anytime they wanted.

I’d treated her more casually than Cheongwol, seeing her as the protagonist’s ally.

…But now, I hesitated.

“Our pet bear doesn’t bite!” we’d been playing… but now it felt like the food had run out?

The round, cute bear’s eyes were turning cold.

Thinking about it, it made sense.

33 days.

Not one or two… a whole month.

We’d rolled around for a month searching for a Detoxification Immortal Root that might not even exist.

I’d fed a pampered young lady nothing but porridge, made her sleep on the floor, used her to raid bandit lairs.

I was pissed it hadn’t turned up yet, so how must Dang Soran feel, moving at my request?

“…Haa… Hoo…”

Dang Soran stared straight at me with eyes sharper than I’d ever seen.

Like she’d devour me any second—I couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

I blinked and looked down at the floor.

…Yeah. A month. A whole month.

Honestly, hadn’t I done enough?

Wasn’t it a miracle I’d gotten this far with no fighting skills, just my mouth?

Hadn’t I done my best within my limits?

Shouldn’t the Hao Gate handle the cleanup?

I finally made my choice.

“…Young Lady, let’s call it here.”

Dang Soran paused, flinching, then asked.

“…Pardon?”

“It doesn’t seem to be here. It’s time to give up.”

She slowly turned her body.

Her eyes blinked repeatedly, as if she couldn’t believe my decision.

“…After all this hardship, go back empty-handed?”

“Staying bogged down here will just waste more time. Let’s stop. If willpower alone worked, I’d push harder, but this is up to fate, isn’t it? Looks like we don’t have that luck. Let’s head back.”

“…And where will you go back to?”

“Me? Mount Emei. We’ll part ways somewhere in between. The road to Chengdu will come up on the way…”

“…Can’t we search just a bit more?”

I shook my head.

“Honestly, I’ve already passed the time I promised Cheongwol Young Lady. I said I’d be back in a month…”

…She’s probably fucking furious by now.

That felt just as daunting.

Ha—Dang Soran let out an uncharacteristic hollow laugh and asked.

“…Because of Wol again?”

“It’s not ‘again’…”

“Why do you only look at Wol? The one who spent the last month with you was clearly me.”

Dang Soran’s atmosphere shifted.

It reminded me of that hollow gaze she’d had by the campfire before entering Chongqing.

I had to stop short.

“Isn’t this enough?”

“…Enough for what…? What are you even…”

“…Why do you only care about Cheongwol’s heart demon?”

That again?

Dang Soran and Cheongwol’s rivalry?

They checked each other so fiercely.

Caught in the middle, my back was breaking.

But I’d already learned from Cheongwol how to escape this.

Just blame the other person.

“Ch-Cheongwol Young Lady is far worse off, isn’t she? Before she causes another incident, I need to go back and…”

“Really…?”

“Of course. You’ve only helped me the past month, so I’m just grateful—”

“—Was that the problem?”

Dang Soran asked out of nowhere.

“…Pardon?”

“Young Master. I’m an empty person.”

“…”

“I can’t feel joy or sorrow or any emotions on my own. Isn’t my heart demon far more ugly?”

“…That’s why—”

“—Come to think of it, you’re a heart demon healer, right?”

No, I’m not.

But Dang Soran couldn’t stop anymore.

“Right. A healer would prioritize the more urgent patient. Cheongwol is far worse off than me…”

Swish.

Her hand slipped into her sleeve.

…Huh?

…What’s that?

…What the—

“—Young Master.”

Before I could believe my eyes, Dang Soran flashed a sinister smile.

She dangled and shook a medicinal herb root.

“…Do I still seem like a good girl?”

The sudden appearance of the Detoxification Immortal Root hit me with confusion before anger.

I’d learned a few things on this journey.

Dang Soran was more sly than I thought.

Dang Soran sometimes froze in emptiness.

Dang Soran was more lively than I thought.

Dang Soran was cuter than I thought.

And Dang Soran was… far more twisted than I thought.

Her inner heart demon was starting to worry me.

To the point where I felt I had to do something.

She was supposed to walk as straight as the protagonist.

Could she really go on like this?

…She’d called herself too empty?

Is that why she craved SM play so much?

“…Why did you do it?”

I asked.

Dang Soran opened her mouth… then closed it.

Then she whispered in a voice I couldn’t tell was a lie or truth.

“…I said I was empty. I thought this might be fun?”

****

Even after speaking, Dang Soran’s heart pounded wildly.

She couldn’t see Han Seojin’s reaction.

She feared he might get furious and leave.

So before he could get mad, she had to keep talking.

“Teasing you all this time was really fun. But I’m not ending it here.”

“…”

“You said you wanted the Detoxification Immortal Root? Thinking about it, I basically got it myself. Why should I give it to you? It’s a treasure of our Tang Clan, so I’ll take it.”

Dang Soran started walking out of the lair.

Thinking she’d be branded a bad person to Han Seojin hurt too much.

For some reason, it felt like tears would fall.

Facing this ugly side of herself was so hard.

The memories of the 30 days felt ruined.

And she was the one who ruined them.

“Even if Father gave it to you, it doesn’t matter. I’m taking it now. Oh, but there is one way I’ll return it. Want to hear?”

“…Young Lady Soran.”

His voice echoed behind her back.

Dang Soran couldn’t look at him, afraid she’d burst into tears the moment she did.

“Come to Chengdu and play with me once, and I’ll give it back. Isn’t it a chance for you too? Discipline this pathetic me and vent your anger.”

Then you’ll forgive me, right? But…

“…Just say it’s because of Cheongwol and you can’t. I’ll chew and swallow this Detoxification Immortal Root right here.”

“…Can’t you just give it back?”

“Yeah? What reason do I have? You haven’t done anything for it, you’re trying to go back to Cheongwol, you won’t play with me, you don’t even care about me?”

No answer from Han Seojin.

Anxious, Dang Soran asked again.

“Isn’t that right—”

“—Dang Soran.”

His voice called her full name.

Like when her parents called her as a child, Dang Soran’s body stiffened.

“…”

“…”

Her feet stuck to the floor, unable to move.

Standing behind her wasn’t the owner of that shabby Leather Room.

It was someone else.

Step… step…

He slowly closed the distance.

She didn’t want him to leave her side, but she didn’t want him this close either.

As their friendship had deepened, his anger scared her that much more. That was her honest truth.

“…Soran.”

Han Seojin called her name so tenderly from behind.

But Dang Soran remained frozen, unable to move.

“Give it back.”

“…”

Gathering courage, Dang Soran slowly shook her head.

“…Ha.”

A sigh that sounded like his patience had snapped.

Sloooowly…

“Ah…!”

Han Seojin began gripping the back of her head.

“…You know I’ve put up with a lot, right?”

“…Ah… Eut…”

“But this time, you crossed the line big time?”

Why did his rude speech sound so good?

Awkward yet so natural.

For the past 30 days, it had been “Young Lady Soran.”

Seeing him handle her roughly lightened her guilt bit by bit.

She wished he’d get even angrier.

Dang Soran gritted her teeth and said.

“Th-then come to Chengdu and vent on me. I said I’ll give it back then?”

“Why should I bother going all the way there?”

It wasn’t wrong.

For atonement over the past time, Dang Soran changed her words.

“Th-then we can rent a nearby inn—”

Crack!

“Ack!!”

Han Seojin yanked her hair, turning her around.

Dang Soran spun with his grip.

And before her eyes sprawled countless writhing bandits.

“…Let’s do it here. Then you’ll give it back, right?”

Han Seojin whispered with a smile.

At his words, immense fear gripped Dang Soran’s heart.

“Huh? H-here…? No…! Not here…!”

“Why? You’re the one who wanted to play.”

She’d always said that when provoking him.

“Hey, isn’t trying to just get it for free too beggar-like? Well… if you play fun with me today, maybe I’ll share? Like you did with Wol.”

“I’m only booking one room? Annoyed? Wanna join? I’m fine with it.”

“Young Master, won’t you play with me?”

“Come to Chengdu and play with me once, and I’ll give it back. Isn’t it a chance for you too? Discipline this pathetic me and vent your anger.”

“Now even I can’t hold back my anger. Gotta let it out here.”

All those declarations now led to a play so terrifying it filled her with regret.

“You said you were empty before. No joy, no sorrow… couldn’t feel anything.”

“…Haa… Haa…!”

With each word from Han Seojin, her empty heart filled with terror.

“So let’s check today, Soran. With my…”

“Eut…! Y-Young Master… please… th-this isn’t—”

Han Seojin intoned coldly.

“—I’ll give you a wound you’ll never forget for the rest of your life.”