Chapter 97: The art of being restless

It was the middle of the afternoon that weekend and Newton had come over to see the kids. It was also an excuse to see Selen since she had barely spoken to him since their kiss in his home.

Their usually frequent texts were becoming a seldom one, with Selen giving awkward and late responses.

He had even gone as far as not mentioning the kiss if it meant that they could go back to how they were working toward a potential relationship, but he got nothing positive from her end.

Newton sat on the sofa, holding a mug of coffee. Selen leaned back against the cushions, exhausted. For a few minutes, neither of them said anything, enjoying the rare quiet.

"Selen," Newton said, looking right at her. "We have not talked about what happened. It has only been about two days since our kiss and you ran away. You threw yourself into the kids and your job.

I have been sitting at home and work, overwhelmed by thoughts of me wondering if I completely misread the situation." He said to her, "Was your running a hint that you just do not feel the same way about me?" he asked her.

The house was so quiet that his question seemed to echo. Neither of them knew that the front door had just clicked open. Clancy stood in the foyer, holding a box of pastries for the kids and new sketchpads for Daniel.

He had used the spare key Selen gave him for emergencies, wanting to surprise them. But hearing Newton’s voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

Clancy froze in the hallway. His chest tightened as Newton’s words sank in. It had only been about two days since their kiss?

The words hit him like a physical blow. Clancy gripped the pastry box so hard the cardboard bent.

He stood there, unable to move, terrified of what Selen would say next but unable to walk away.

Selen looked at Newton, her heart racing. "Newton, you are so important to me. You are my rock. I did not expect it. And everything is moving so fast, and with the kids, and Clancy-" She trailed off, struggling to find the right words.

Clancy did not wait to hear the rest. The confirmation of the kiss was enough. Fueled by a sudden, sharp wave of jealousy and feeling like an outsider, he quietly backed out the front door, pulling it shut with a faint click.

He walked to his car, his mind racing.

He felt like an imposter trying to compete with a man who already had a deep connection with her.

Selen tried to explain to Newton that she genuinely liked him, but she was just worried that it was too much commitment. It felt like if she said yes to him, then she owed him marriage.

Newton leaned forward and held her hands, "Selen, I get why you would still think that we are moving too fast. I mean, one day I am confessing my feelings in my car because Clancy interrupted our romantic dinner, next thing you are spending months with your daughter in the hospital.

I know that with your fragile experience when it comes to marriage, you will be very sensitive to it. But listen, if you say yes to me and at any point in time you feel like you no longer care for me enough, please tell me" he said.

The two ended up having a promising conversation and even made plans for a proper dinner date. What was she waiting for anyway? She realized it was time to let go of her worries.

****

Later that same evening, the shift in Clancy was obvious. When he came back to the house, pretending he had just arrived from his office, the warmth he usually showed Selen was completely gone.

He was polite, but incredibly distant. When she handed him a drink, he made sure their fingers didn’t touch. When she laughed at something the kids said, Clancy only managed a tight, forced smile before looking back at his phone.

Selen noticed it immediately. The comfortable rhythm they had been building over the past few months vanished, replaced by an invisible wall.

Did I do something wrong? she wondered, watching him play with the kids. He was physically there, building Lego towers, but his mind was somewhere else entirely.

She opened her mouth to ask him what was wrong when they were alone in the kitchen, but the cold expression on his face made her stop. She did not confront him, and she did not even know why she cared.

For Clancy, the distance was the only way to protect himself. Every time he looked at Selen, he pictured Newton.

He thought about how easily Newton fit into her life, and it made him bitter. By the time he left her house that night, he was ready to give up.

Why am I trying so hard for a space that has already filled? he thought as they drove away. Maybe I am just the guy who shows up for the fun highlights. He looked out the window at the empty street, feeling like he should just stop trying to win her over altogether.

As the car drove further into the dark, Clancy could not stop the thoughts running through his head. He kept remembering how Selen used to smile at him just last week, and now it felt like everything had changed in a second.

He wondered if she was already planning her future with Newton. It made his chest feel tight all over again. He decided right then that he would keep his distance from now on, to avoid getting hurt any more than he already was.

**** 𝒻𝘳ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝒷𝘯ℴ𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝑐ℴ𝑚

Later that evening, Selen sat on her bed after the kids went to sleep, looking at her phone. She looked at Clancy’s contact name, wanting to text him but not knowing what to say.

The silence from his end felt heavy, and she could not understand why he suddenly cared that he was treating her like a stranger. She sighed, turning off her light, feeling caught between a promising future with Newton and a sudden oddness with Clancy.