Chapter 220

Chapter 220: Chapter 220

Dron felt as if his heart were going to beat out of his chest.

He didn’t know what was going on.

As it stood right now, everything was fine. Everyone was safe.

Sure, he had a little spat with Mikael. Then another larger spat with Gerax, but there was no real threat, so he couldn’t understand why it felt like he was gearing up for the biggest battle of his life.

He thought for a second that he had been poisoned.

There was no way that could be. They had all eaten and drank from the same supplies. Also, he didn’t think that anyone on the ship would do that to him.

Then he thought the journey itself was making him ill, but that couldn’t be right either. He’d been on journeys like this several times in his life. There was no reason for him to be getting sick now.

Dron tried to breathe deeply several times, but it felt as if he couldn’t get enough air into his body.

He paced back and forth in the large under area of the boat. He did his best to stay away from the other people there. Most of them were sleeping, and the last thing he wanted to do was to wake any of them up. Or worse, have them get up and see that he was in the middle of losing his mind once again after he’d already promised them that they wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore now that Tempest was there.

Of course, he didn’t get much time to think on his own. He was starting to panic when he felt his chest starting to tighten up. Something was definitely going on with him.

"You’re only going to make it worse." A sleepy voice spoke behind him.

Dron whirled around, his alpha instincts trying to take over but not being able to.

"I’m not making anything worse. I feel like I’m dying," Dron admitted almost without thinking about it.

Hen yawned and kicked her feet out of the makeshift bed that she was in. All of the cots were lined up below decks, and she had to slide past a few others to get to where Dron was.

"You’re not dying." Hen shook her head and stood stock-still in front of Dron. Even as she did, Dron couldn’t stop his own body from moving. It felt like there were animals under his skin, as if every last nerve ending was vibrating as he struggled to breathe in.

"Yeah, if you know so much, then tell me what’s wrong with me. Am I going crazy? Is this left over from the fated mate sickness? What in all the spirits is happening to me?" His voice cracked as he looked to the woman for answers.

"You’re panicking." Hen smiled gently and slowly lifted her arms until her hands were on either side of Dron.

It felt like he was being boxed in. He didn’t like it.

"Panicking? There’s nothing for me to panic about. Why would I be panicking?" Dron questioned.

"I don’t know why you’re panicking. I just woke up, but I know a panic attack when I see one. I used to have them all the time." Hen kept the gentle smile on her face.

Panic attack? Dron wasn’t familiar with the term, but it was being translated as some sort of emotional turmoil.

"Impossible. I don’t have panic attacks." Dron shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what she was telling him.

"Says every person the first time they have a panic attack." Hen tilted her head to the side and gently let her hands fall back down so Dron could continue to pace back and forth in front of her.

Dron was sure that he wasn’t being afflicted by what she called a panic attack, but then again, he couldn’t be sure exactly what was happening to him.

"Can you stop it?" Dron finally looked up at the woman.

She sighed and tried once again to put her hands up. This time, Dron let the woman touch him. She grabbed his shoulders and squeezed slightly. It was a strong pressure, but it didn’t hurt, and it was steady.

Dron glanced down at where she was touching him and could see the outline of the ivory marking on his arm. His heart picked up in pace, and he felt the need to move again. "I have to... I can’t..." He tried to back away, but she held on to him.

"Seems as if you just figured out what the panic is about," Hen spoke, but it sounded as if her words were coming to him from under the water itself.

Is that what all this was about? Was he really panicking about the marks on his body? It made sense. Before, when he didn’t know about them, he’d been so used to people staring at his black marks that it didn’t bother him much anymore. Now that the marks were turning ivory, he could almost feel every time someone’s eyes landed on them. Like a branding iron. He wanted to hide them away. Wanted them to disappear.

"Running away isn’t going to stop it. It’ll only make it worse. You have to ground yourself," Hen spoke again.

"What? How do I do that?" Dron asked. He was panting now. He was sucking air in and out, but it still felt as if he wasn’t getting enough.

"Don’t worry about the past or the future. Pay attention to where you are right now. What’s going on right now. There is no danger. Nothing to fear. You’re here with people that care for you. Your mate is here. It’s all okay." Hen spoke, and her voice was starting to get a bit clearer.

Dron focused on the woman’s hands on his shoulders, the constant but gentle pressure of them. She was right. Even if those marks would cause him grief in the future, right now it was all okay. No one but the few people that were on deck knew about them, and that’s how he would keep it. He wouldn’t tell anyone else about them, and for all he knew, they could disappear by the time they made it back to Thraqe, and he wouldn’t have to think about it at all.

It was all going to be fine.

He felt the tremble inside his body start to die down. His breathing began to slow. After a few moments, Dron felt himself going back to normal.

He looked up at Hen.

This was the woman who didn’t trust him or his kind. She’d woken up out of her slumber to help him. It meant more than he could tell her in words.

"Thank you. I don’t know why that happened."

"You’ve got a lot on your shoulders, Dron. Even I can see that." She nodded and let her hands drop from his shoulders as she took a step back.

Dron missed the connection almost immediately.

"Yeah, I bet you can understand. It’s amazing what you were able to do with the human settlement, especially being away from all the advancements we have in Thraqe."

"I did what I had to do. I didn’t ask to be leader, but they were all looking to me. If I closed my eyes to everything that was going on, I’d have let them all down. I can’t do that."

Her words hit Dron hard. Is that what Mikael accused him of doing? Just closing his eyes when he had the power to help them all.

"Did you ever think about letting someone else lead? Someone else take the mantle?" Dron asked and worried that he might be crossing a line with the woman.

"Yes, of course, many times, but according to my people, that’s only more proof that I’m a good leader. I hope and pray there is someone who can do a better job than I can. Someone who can help them more than I can. So far, no one has made the cut." Hen laughed. She bit the corner of her lip and turned to look behind her just to make sure that no one was listening in. Everyone looked to still be sleeping. "Do you want to tell me what’s going on? Maybe a little venting will help ease your mind."

Dron sighed and found a crate to sit on. He dropped his head into his hands for a second before he looked back up at Hen. "I guess it’s not anything you don’t know. I’m not supposed to be the leader. I was sent to Skoq on a reconnaissance mission. I was just supposed to find out what happened to the Poor class back in Thraqe, figure out who was responsible. I didn’t know it would turn into this. Back where I’m from, I’m considered less than, the bottom of the barrel. I’m not supposed to have people following me. Not supposed to be looked for when problems need solving. I’m usually the one that simply cleans up the mess. This is all new to me." Dron shook his head.

"I suppose that would be a good reason to have a panic attack. Can I tell you a secret?" Hen moved in a little closer. "No one knows how to do anything until they take the first step in doing it. You may not have the experience needed to lead this group or think you are ready, but the people here think you can, and so do I. All you have to do is trust yourself and your intuition. As long as you stay true to what you know is right, there is very little that you can do wrong, and even when you do, we will all be right here to have your back."

She had his back, but Dron couldn’t help but wonder if he deserved it.