Chapter 214 - Can Never Love A Woman Like Me.
Li Xue had no idea what Feng Yi Lan's words meant earlier. She just wanted to sober her up and make her relax. The last and the only time she remembered Yi Lan crying was the day when she left the country, leaving her behind.
Seeing the girl, she has only once seen shedding her tears was something that was tearing her apart. Though she didn't know what was paining her inside and what were the things she was blaming herself for, she just knew that she couldn't see her in the pain.
Taking her back towards the sofa, she made her sit as she coaxed her, caressing her hair lightly. "Yi Lan, I don't know what you are thinking but I am sure that your thoughts are just your absurd assumptions. There is no way Shufen … I mean your brother will ever hate you. You have always been so caring and loving to him. And love is always returned with love, not with hatred".
Feng Yi Lan instantly shook her head to deny her words. "No, Li Xue! There is no way my brother will ever accept me. He can never. He would just punish me with his coldness. He could never accept me as her younger sister".
Li Xue could not understand anything from her words. Her words were more and more confusing to her ears, pulling her more into the stream of confusion. Leaving her with no answer at the end. At this moment she could not take any risk to go in any depths of its meaning, so only taking the literal part from her speech, she tried to cajole her.
"Yi Lan, you are reading too much into it. Haven't you always said that he has been that way since young … not only to you but to everyone else around, even to your parents? I think that's his nature, you can't get too serious about it. And about being his younger sister, do you think that he even needs to accept that? That's the truth and the truth doesn't need anyone's acceptance".
"So, now come on, wipe your tears. You are looking ugly in these …"
Before Li Xue could even complete her words, Feng Yi Lan broke out with more tears. "No, Li Xue, that's not true, but the lie I have been living in all these years, until recently, I came to know the truth. I am not a younger sister but half-sister by blood". She sobbed and Li Xue was all stunned with the revelation.
It was not because she was judging her family or judging her friend but she was stunned because she has not seen this coming. Knowing how much Yi Lan loved and admired her brother, she could estimate what she would be feeling inside when she would have come to know all this.
"He could never accept me because I was the reason for which his mother left years ago when he was just 14 years old. He would never do", she sobbed, then suddenly wiping off her tears, she looked at her friend with her glassy eyes.
"And you know Li Xue, he is right in doing so. I am doomed to be hated for all those sins that might not be committed by me but I have been the reason behind it. Why did my mother become so cruel? Why was she so after the wealth that she can't even see the lives she was going to destroy? Why did she bring so much hatred for me when the only thing I craved for was the love of my elder brother? His doting-ness!"
Li Xue felt herself to be at the loss of words. Soothing her friend lightly with the fingers combing her hair, she tried to stop her cries. "Yi Lan, don't blame yourself. You are not at fault. I am sure that Shufen won't hate you for the fault which has never been yours. Don't cry over the things that you are not sure of."
"Now stop being a cry baby like this. You might embarrass yourself if WeiWei comes and sees you in this condition. You know being a kid, she has also never cried in this ugly way. Come on, wipe off your tears and tell me everything that you are keeping in yourself. Don't press the things inside yourself. I am sure that you have not shared all this with anyone yet"
Feng Yi Lan shook her head, confirming her words. When she has come to know all this, she really has no strength to confront Feng Shufen. She feared that if he knew that she had already come across the truth then he might worsen his cold shoulder behaviour towards her.
She has just asked her mother to justify her actions from the past but however, she tried or even cried screaming her reasons, Feng Yi Lan just could not feel her in the right standing. Marrying a man whose elder daughter has been a few years younger than her, could simply not provide a rationale for anything. Wrecking someone's already built family to build yours can never be proved right, however, she tried.
"How can I say this to anyone, Li Xue? I would have never been able to face my brother if I have done that. My mother ruined everything for him. After knowing about my existence, his mother left Father, leaving behind both him and Elder Sister Yiran. I know you are my friend, and you will never let me take the blame. But if everything is looked at from the point of my Brother, then you can see me as the culprit of all these things after my mother".
Feng Yi Lan said. Her eyes showing the sorrows, she was hiding inside. "It's okay, Yi Lan! Finish that off. Not because I am your friend, but because it's the truth. However, regardless of whose ever point of perception you take, there is no way an unborn child can be blamed for the sins of his or her mother. So just don't make it hard on yourself".
"Tell me something different. How did you come across all these things? As far as I know, there is no way you are the person to dig the past, until and unless someone brings that up to you. So who brought such a hurtful thing to you. I am sure it can't be your mother nor Shu … I mean President Feng or your father. So how did you come across all this?"
Li Xue asked. Though this question did not make any sense at this time but still something inside urged her to ask. Giving the feeling that something important was still missing beneath the question.
The eyes of Yi Lan had already dried up but they still felt glassy. Blinking it to make it normal, she said. "How is that even relevant? I have already forgotten everything. It's just that whenever I see my mother, everything streams back in front of my eyes. Her face just makes it hard for me to forget all this."
"Yi Lan! That was not my question. You know what I have asked you. Just answer me" Li Xue pressed her with her eyes.
Sighing, Feng Yi Lan could not help but give a smile of self-mockery. "Haha … I came to know about that on the day I got rejected in love. The man whom I proposed rejected me saying that he can't love a woman like me!"