Chapter 459: I Am A Mage

"Get up," I said.

No one moved.

"Get up," I said again, louder this time. "I am not a god. I am not something to be worshipped."

And still none of them moved. Ruggah raised his head. His single eye met mine, and there was something in it that I could not name.

What did I know about these times? I was a mage from a future where all the gods were gone, and for anyone in this age, what I had just accomplished could only mean one thing... that I was a god.

"You killed a god," Ruggah said, with deep conviction in his voice. "Only a more powerful god can kill a lesser god."

"I know what you believe. But belief does not make something true."

Ruggah blinked. I knew he did not believe me. "Then what are you?"

What was I? I was a mage from the future. I was a Celestial who was slowly becoming something else. I was a Godslayer who carried the blood of a god in his veins. I was a man who was trying very hard not to think about the fact that the blood of the boy kneeling in front of him smelled like food.

"I am someone who is trying to help," I said finally. "That is all."

Still, it seemed that everyone had developed a form of partial deafness, since none of them rose to their feet.

A faint irritation was beginning to rise in my heart, and I was wondering if I was going to have to physically move them when I felt a pressure slowly begin to converge on me. I looked around in surprise, and saw that this pressure was coming from all nine of them, and it was getting heavier with every passing moment.

Then my Status Screen lit up.

[Faith detected.]

[Source: Tam of Marrow Hollow]

[Recipient: ████████]

I have been shocked many times in my life, but this one was up there. I could now detect Faith. But even that I pushed aside, because I could not stop staring at the black bar where my name should have been.

It was not blank. There was something there, a word written and then scratched over so many times the letters had turned to a solid block, and when I looked at it with Eldritch Perception it pushed back against me. The seal said that my true nature had been obscured, even from myself. I had assumed that meant my own skills and my own soul... well, it apparently also included my name.

[Faith detected.]

[Source: Ines of Marrow Hollow]

[Recipient: ████████]

It came again, and again, faster now, one line for each of them, and I felt the pressure on my skin grow heavier with each one, until I could feel it in my teeth.

Dorrik had spent months telling me what faith was in this age, whether I wanted to hear it or not. It is not a feeling. It goes both ways, and the System stands in the middle and takes its cut, and a being that receives it is changed by it, whether it wants to be or not. That was how a demigod became a god. That was how a god became a greater one.

And these two, Tam and Ines, had survived when their whole village died because they refused every contract the System had ever offered them. They had never pledged anything to anyone.

Until now.

"Stop," I said, and I was shaking. "Tam. Stop it. Now."

He did not hear me. I do not think he could have, just then.

So I walked the dozen paces between us, took him under the arms, and hauled him upright, and the moment his knees left the glass, the prayer broke off in his mouth and the pressure on my skin eased, just a little.

"Don’t," I said, and my voice was not steady anymore, and I did not care. "Don’t ever do that. Do you hear me? Not to me. Not ever."

His eyes were wet. His hands were still bleeding, and I could smell it, and I held him by the shoulders at arm’s length and breathed through my mouth.

"You killed a god," he said. "The whole world witnessed the fall of the divine. Who else but you deserves our worship? They all said the gods of humans are weak, and we are meant to walk in the dirt. You have changed everything."

I stared at him, seeing the conviction in his eyes, and the desperate hope that burned behind the tears. He believed what he was saying. He believed it with every fibre of his being.

Oh shit... this could be a problem.

Faith, by its nature, did not require much proof to exist. I could not just say I was not a god and have them believe me. Either I came clean or I found another way, because I did not want my companions to believe that I was a god.

"I did not change everything," I said, shaking my head. "I killed one god, and it was a close thing. There are many gods, but I am not one of them."

Tam shook his head. "It does not matter. You proved that they can die. Whatever you are, you have my Faith."

I blinked and turned to the rest of the warband, and spoke loudly. "Before we left on this expedition, what did I tell you was the purpose of our trip?"

Ruggah’s eye flickered. He did not answer immediately, and I saw the confusion cross his face as he tried to understand why I was asking this now, of all moments.

"You said we were going to gather materials," he said slowly. "For something you needed to build."

"Yes." I nodded. "Do you remember what I told you about it?"

Thurrim grunted. "You said it was going to be a weapon. Something that could change the course of the war."

"A tool," I corrected. "Not a weapon. A tool that can help me change everything. But before I can build it, I need to find certain materials. That is why we are here. Not to worship me, but to help me build something that can end this war."

I looked at each of them in turn, letting the words settle.

"I am not a god. I am not something to be worshiped. I am a man with a purpose, and that purpose requires your help. Not your faith or your prayers. Your help."

Tam opened his mouth, maybe to argue, but I did not let him.

"You asked me what I am," I said, turning back to him. "I told you I am someone who is trying to help. That is the truth. But if you need a label, if you need something to call me, then call me what I am."

I paused, letting the weight of the moment settle. If I wanted to nip this problem in the bud, it was time to be truthful about what I was. I had already caused enough disruption in this time, and I could no longer hide who I was from those who would walk with me.

"I am a Mage. I was born in a world... far from here. I was given power I did not ask for, and I am trying to use it to do something that matters. That is all."

Tam stared at me. His hands were still bleeding, and his eyes were still wet, and I could see the conflict in his face. "A Mage?"