Lord Shadow

She could not help but sigh.

Azief is still there.

Silent.

Waiting for her to process it all.

Decades has passed and some people forget. Mortals always forget. Hence, they are in a perpetual tragedy of always repeating the same mistakes.

Sina herself knows this. Even she makes such mistake in her life.

She closes her eyes calming down her heart and then she opens her eyes and then look at Azief.

She shakes her head

"Why would you not tell me about this? If you told me....I would not misunderstand you. I would not side with either Sasha or Wang Jian. But...." She paused for a second and then she sighed

Today, she has sighed more than she has sighed since this civil war began.

She rarely sighed. Someone told her, sighing chases happiness away.

But she sighed when she feels helpless.

And Azief is the few people in this world that always made her helpless. Because even when she wanted to help, she does not have the ability. And even if she does, knowing how stubborn Azief is, this man would never wanted to accept her help.

The kind that always have to do it by himself. He would not ask help unless he is truly desperate.

He is weak. he is strong, He is stubborn

He is fragile.

Azief had changed.

There is a lot of things that had changed with him.

The Azief when he was young, when he was a kid, when he was a teenager, the Azief when he first experience the Fall, the Azief that survive that and the Azief of today.

First the world change him. Then he changed the world.

So, what did you do when you meet this kind of person that is complicated and unable to know head and tails?

Anyone who met someone like this, the only thing they could do....is sigh.

Azief smiles

"I know how you would react" Sina did not know what to say. She could not really blame Azief for this. After all, this is his path. His life. His choice. If she wanted to make the same choice, she also would like her choice to be respected.

So, all the words she wanted to say...is stuck on the tip of her tongue.

"Sofia......Sofia, did you tell her?" hearing that name Azief shows a bitter smile and he shakes his head

"Why not!?"

"It is not really something she should be concerned with" Sina waves her hand and the teacup flew toward Azief face

Azief simply sigh and his sigh turns the teacup into bits of atoms. It was like it never existed

"Hmph!"

Sina harrumphed as she sits back down at her rattan chair. She then push the table. Sina wanted the table to explode

But Azief simply said

"be flexible" it was a word. But it is also an order. And the rules and laws of the world bend to follow this order.

And the table....it was like she had push away a bubble.

The table follows the rules and laws of this world. How could it disobey when the ruler give orders?

The glass table did not explode instead it sems to slide off from a slippery surface and push Azief a few feet away. Azief himself let the force pushes him and then he taps the edge of the table and the table stops.

Now, there is three feet distance between Azief and Sian and between them is the glass table. The pot of tea and the tea cup on the table does not even seem disturbed

Azief only smiles as he looks at Sina

Azief take the pot and pour himself tea and take a sip. Sina is angry. Azief saw this and ask

"Why so angry?" Azief put down the tea cup.

"You break up and suddenly she’s nothing?"

Azief frowns at this but he shakes his head

"You know what she meant to me. She’s...not nothing"

Sina nodded at this, her eyes fiery

"She’s family."

She paused for a seconds and then added

"She should know" Azief did not say anything or a second. He only close his eyes for a second and then opening it back up he said

"And if she does know, what would she do? Persuade me not to do it? I’ve made my choice"

Sina shakes her head

"no one said anything about not letting you choose. I’m talking about letting her know"

Sina could not help but sigh

"That’s all. I understand your plan now. Everything. From the war to the nonchalance of life and death. I understand." She paused for a second and then added

"But...this plan of yours hinges in your succeeding in this. If you failed, not only you would die, Pandemonium would be in danger"

"Ah, ye of little faith" Azief said smiling

"I’m serious right now. This time you could really die"

"Sofia should know about this. She should not be unaware of this. If something happens to you, if something unfortunate happens to you during that time, what do you think she feels?"

Sina look at Azief and sigh. This time her sigh is longer. She....somehow understood the reason why Sofia is always anxious with him.

"I could understand Sofia now. You are really selfish"

Sina shakes her head

"You shoulder the burden of the world on your shoulder. You have pain. You have scars. So, because you seem to have all of this and because all of this happens to you, no one could say anything about it? No one could console you?"

Sina tone of voice become higher and higher

"Don’t you know by doing this, you cut our hearts, and scars our feelings. Yes, we could not help you. Yes, we could not stop you. But at least....give us a chance to show that we care. That you are not the only one in pain"

"Even in wishes, even in prayers, at least we would know. And....you would know. That you have people on your side"

For a moment Sina look at Azief with a pitiful gaze

Azief saw it but he did not say anything

"You talk a big game about pain. Pain...is heavy. But the thing about pain is....the more you share it, the less it weighs"

"Sometimes, just knowing someone else....see your pain...that is enough. And as long as the pain could be conveyed, people could learn from it. Even if there are people who forgets, there would be people who remembers. And there would be people who could feel it even when the pain was never theirs. And as long as these people could convey the pain, then there is always people that would not forget that pain"

There is a lot of things that Sina wanted to say

She didn’t like it when Azief is like this.

This lone hero thing might work when they were starting out.

Because Azief was really a lone hero. He is someone who have some kind of victim mentality, and anti-social tendencies.

He could have gone a very different route from where he is now. Sina is not like the others in the world.

The common people of Pandemonium praises him.

Maybe it is more like some kind of hero worship.

Or maybe it is just them believing that those who are at the top is infallible.

Sian however had known Azief since the beginning of the Fall.

She might not have insight on his past as clearly as Sofia but probably because of that she could see him without bias.

One of the things that Sian learns in the medical conference is more than just concocting potion or crafting pills

She also learns psychology. The world are hurting. The people are full of wounds. And whether before the Fall or after the Fall, mental problems are the same

Because it came from the mind and from many thoughts arises all conditions

The world changes and so the problem of the mind might also changes. But it could not be eradicated.

These wounds are not just superficial wounds. But also....wounds that buried itself in the hearts and minds.

And so, she analyse Azief. It is not like she made Azief her experiment or she intended to do. She unconsciously see it.

Just like how a surgeon could see where a surgical scar is, or an orthopaedic finds a broken bone, what you learn....you see.

Sina remembers a joke she heard from a Singapore doctor she met at the conference

A General Practitioner, a paediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon, and a pathologist go duck hunting

The general practitioner raises his shotgun but doesn’t shoot because he isn’t entirely sure if it’s a duck or a goose.

The Paediatrician raises his gun, but then second-guesses whether the duck has been properly vaccinated, so he hesitates.

The Psychiatrist aims and thinks, "I know that’s a duck, but does the duck know it’s a duck?"

The Surgeon shoots immediately, blowing the bird out of the sky. He then turns to the Pathologist and says, "Go check if that was a duck.

That is how it is. She saw Azief, look at Sina, and even at Loki and Wang Jian and she unconsciously analyse them a way a psychologist would determine the problem of the mind.

Everyone is sick...in some way. Some people just don’t get diagnosed yet.

..