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Day 107 – Morning, the Theocracy, Streets

So here I thought I was in the ordinary background character role, but turns out I’m the kidnapped princess/heroine role instead? A captive-type Highschool Boy? Held tight by the stern-faced, beautiful lady knight I’m dragged all the way outside, towards the enemy camp, with my hands restrained behind my back. Yeah, being restrained by a person in armor isn’t much fun, but, wouldn’t it be an issue if I just strip the armor off? The build quality is pretty shoddy, the seams are loose, looks like it’d be easy to dismantle piece by piece.

Well, to put it calmly, the current situation is: I’ve been abducted? Pin Location?

So yeah, right now I’m basically the Highschool Boy Damsel-in-Distress version, but is there even a demand for that? Will the stern-faced, beautiful lady knight interrogate and torture me in this way and that way, and then if I go, 『Kuh… show them already』 something might actually get revealed? Huh, that’s pretty freaky!?

But anyway, while I’m getting abducted, the enemy keeps earnestly shouting with all their might 『Don’t come closer! If you approach, this one’s life is forfeit!』 Yet, nobody is panicking or even attempting to actually approach, they are just chewing on sandwiches, looking kinda exasperated, not in the least alarmed? Hey, Highschool Boy is being dragged away and kidnapped here, you know? A poor innocent, defenseless Highschool Boy is being carried off, you know? Surely this development leads straight into the violation course, doesn’t it? What with those flat gazes?

「It is against my will, but I have taken custody of this boy. I never wished to resort to such measures, but this is how serious the matter of the state is. I ask that you lay down your arms and surrender. Otherwise… we shall slay this boy and combat will ensue! Your Highness, the decision is yours!」

「「「「…………？」」」」

They’re just staring this way curiously, sandwiches in their mouths? Yeah, today’s sandwiches have miso sauce and sesame sauce cutlets in them, so they’re hugely popular?

「Huh!? N-no reaction!? Shouldn’t this be where someone goes, 『Release the hostage!』 or 『Don’t worry, we’ll save you soon!』 or something? Why the looks, why!? This poor, innocent Highschool Boy, is in big trouble, kidnapped and held tightly by a lewd female knight, and all you can give me is a flat gaze!? Okay, fine, it’s a pretty good flat gaze, but we are about to have Highschool Boy spontaneously explode during a hostage crisis live broadcast! So, um… Kyaaa, help meee(monotone)? I guess (monotone)?」

I’m surrounded by Middle-Aged Men, but the one actually holding me is the stern-faced, beautiful lady knight. Honestly, I’d prefer the development where I get locked away in some room with no one around, but instead this is all happening outdoors, on public display. Is this that kind of fetish play? Looks like she’s one of those dangerous exhibitionist lady knights. But if that’s the case, could she at least take off the armor? It’s hard?

「Whoa, she really kidnapped that!?」

「Reitesia, what are you thinking! …That’s dangerous, you know? For all sorts of reasons? Like chastity, for example?」

「Well, I guess since he’s the enemy of God and the Lust King, maybe capturing him is the right move? But what a risky thing to do…」

「Yeah, so right and yet so wrong? Maybe we should just slap a 『Hazardous Material』 warning on him?」

「Besides, didn’t he basically walk into getting caught?」

「「「「GUILTY VERDICT CONFIRMED! Because come on, if it were a Middle-Aged Man, he definitely would’ve beat the crap out of him?」」」」

Once again, this poor Highschool Boy, who is actually a victim, captured by a lewd female kidnapper, is being falsely condemned! Of course I’d punch a Middle-Aged Man who tried to hug me, if I welcomed that, I’d be the one who’s dangerous! Why are they treating the obvious as if it’s some big revelation? This is an ultra false accusation! As the abducted victim here, I demand the immediate summoning of a defense team!

「Listen here, the black hair means he is a guest invited by the Diorer royal family! Should any harm befall him, it will become an international incident even for Aryuuka(Theocracy). We are deadly serious!」

「「「「…………?」」」」

Seriously, why are they still eating sandwiches? Why are they even going back for seconds? And is it really the right time for Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl-san to be handing out mushroom tea? Weren’t they supposed to be my bodyguards or something? Well, their blindfolding duty was questionable too, but still? Anyway, since I’ve been kidnapped, it’s time for That.

「Ahem. …Kyaaa, I’m gonna get killed Yo, kidnapped Yo, abduction Yo, exhilarating Yo? Ahh, what a disaster, what a catastrophe this has become, whatever shall I do, Check It Now (monotone)? Kinda (monotone)?」

For some reason, everyone froze up… Surely, they’re stunned and paralyzed by the sorrowful scream of mine. Still giving me that flat gaze though?

「Help huh… As in, help the female knight holding hazardous object to escape from the Sex King’s clutches?」

「No, maybe it means, help her before she gets duped, stripped of all her belongings, and the Sex King descends?」

「Or maybe it means, save us from the way Haruka-kun treats common sense like nonsense?」

「「「Even if you ask us to help you, doing it with such a happy radiant smile…」」」

But then, why are even the church’s soldiers frozen stiff too? Maybe their bodies are just too rigid? If it’s for stern-faced beautiful lady knight-san’s stretching exercises, I’m totally prepared to help her slip, or let my tentacles slip, whichever, ready anytime? Yep, I even brought lotion?

And then that fatal instant of distraction, no signs, no premotion, just suddenly, like swallows darting through the air, Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl-san swoop in. In their hands, shining… giant platters?