Chapter 211 - 209: A Kept Man’s Bottom Line

Chapter 211: Chapter 209: A Kept Man’s Bottom Line

[Brother Zhang is still looking out for us bros!]

[Is this the kind of masterclass I can listen to for free?]

[Brother Zhang, there were too many people around earlier, but your little bro is kneeling before you now. You have to teach me!]

[Are there any secrets for girls who want to live off a man?]

"Sisters, for us girls, it’s not called being a freeloader. It’s called being attracted to power."

"Isn’t it easy to find an old man? I’ve been telling you all along, just lower your age requirements a bit."

"Nowadays, a girl saying she’s willing to date someone 10 years older than her doesn’t even give her an edge in the dating market anymore."

"Lots of female college grads are fine with guys in their early thirties."

"If you’re really willing to be ruthless, find someone two zodiac cycles older. I guarantee you’ll be able to live off them until you’re stuffed."

Zhang Zhe only gave a brief answer to the sisters’ questions because he knew that the girls who were truly capable of this lifestyle didn’t need to ask for advice.

Just then, the group’s "King of Freeloading" joined the call.

"Brother Zhang, should I turn on my camera?"

"Either way is fine. It’s up to you."

"I’ll turn it on then." The King of Freeloading turned on his camera, smiling and waving at Zhang Zhe. "Brother Zhang, we finally meet."

"Whoa, buddy, are you Jerry Yan?"

Zhang Zhe had guessed the guy might be a celebrity look-alike, because for wealthy women, a famous face was the most desirable.

The wealthiest women would just spend money directly on actual male celebrities. The regularly rich, naturally, had to settle for a downgrade and find a look-alike.

But Jerry Yan... ’Does that mean rich women are into Dao Ming Temple?’

"Bro, your face... it doesn’t look entirely natural." Zhang Zhe studied the other man’s face carefully, certain it had been surgically altered.

"Of course." The man nodded expressionlessly. "I’ve had a lot of work done on my face. If I were naturally this good-looking, I would’ve been in showbiz long ago."

[His face looks really stiff.]

[Honestly, he’s handsome, but he kind of looks like a wax figure.]

[Is this the price you pay for being a kept man?]

"My ’hardware’ wasn’t good enough, so I had to force my way into this lifestyle. If you’re naturally handsome, you don’t necessarily need surgery."

"Bro, I’m a little curious. Do the rich ladies mind that you’ve had some ’fine-tuning’?"

"They do. It doesn’t affect their attraction to me at all," the man replied. "From my experience, the percentage of the ’sisters’ and ’aunties’ who get cosmetic work done is around 90%. They’re not against it, and it can even become a topic we bond over."

"That many?"

"Yes, though it might have to do with the circles I’m in. Wealthy women find the passage of time very distressing, so they understand the desire for plastic surgery."

"They’re even willing to pay for my procedures."

"However, if you’re going to get facial surgery, be prepared for the side effects."

"Side effects... like not being able to make big facial expressions?" Zhang Zhe asked, gesturing suggestively at his own face.

Just as the comments said, the guy’s face was indeed a bit stiff.

"My inability to make expressions is because of a nerve issue I have."

"It’s called perioral nerve damage."

The man pointed to the area around his mouth.

"After my second cheekbone reduction, the nerves here got damaged and never recovered. You can see when I talk, my mouth is a little crooked."

"If I zone out for too long, I’ll start drooling without realizing it."

[So handsome you’re drooling?]

[That’s a bit... special, isn’t it?]

[It’s fine, you can just play dumb.]

[I could accept that. I drool in my sleep anyway.]

"What’s a cheekbone reduction?" Zhang Zhe asked curiously. ℯℯ𝘭.𝘤ℴ𝘮

"It’s this area here." The man pointed to the area below his eyes, at the front of his cheeks. "You push this part in a bit, and it makes the contours of your whole face look much softer."

"Ohh," Zhang Zhe said, enlightened. "But what does that have to do with your mouth? Isn’t the surgery on your cheeks?"

"They make the incision inside your mouth."

"..." Zhang Zhe found it terrifying just to listen to.

He watched the man demonstrate the incision site. He actually had to pull up his lip and cut diagonally upwards, right at the upper gum line.

’That looks like the kind of knife work you’d only see in a dismemberment,’ he thought.

"Bro, I really don’t envy your good looks."

"You can really endure a lot of pain."

"This is nothing, haha." The man laughed it off. "See? Aren’t my ears very defined? Nice shape, right?"

"It’s called an ’elf ear’ procedure. After getting it done, I can never use in-ear headphones again."

"And my eyes. My right eye can’t close completely, and it twitches involuntarily. That’s a side effect from the jaw surgery."

"But the toughest one to deal with was the nose. After my third rhinoplasty, I almost completely lost my ability to smell bad odors. I’m just not very sensitive to smells anymore."

[What a shame. Now you’ll never get to enjoy those sweaty, size 42 feet.]

[I could accept all the side effects except the nose. My mouth is already crooked and I drool all the time anyway.]

[Hey, drooling bro, you should really get that fixed. Why don’t you start a GoFundMe?]

[If you can’t smell, does that mean you can power through the ’old person smell’ and still get it on? That’s pretty damn hardcore.]

"By the way, Brother Zhang, how would you rate my looks out of ten?"

"A seven," Zhang Zhe said honestly. "With your looks now, you could easily get a role in a short web series."

"I guess that means my 500,000 yuan was well spent, huh?" The man managed a very strained smile, the muscles in his face barely moving.

But even so, he was genuinely handsome. A rich woman could easily pay to keep him at home as eye candy, or bring him along to show off when meeting up with her friends. He was perfect for the role.

"Bro, what if you don’t have your looks, and you’re not willing to suffer through plastic surgery, but you still want to live the easy life? Is there a way?"

"Of course," the man said with a nod. "Looks are just a way to get your foot in the door, but rich women aren’t only looking for handsome men."

"A good physique can also get your foot in the door."

After speaking, he reached behind his back and pulled his shirt taut, making it cling to his stomach.

This way, everyone could faintly see the outline of his abs.

"I shouldn’t have to explain this one. In 95% of cases, a guy having abs is a plus. But whatever you do, absolutely do not use steroids."

The man said in a very grave tone:

"There is an ironclad rule to this lifestyle: you can accept physical injuries. For instance, if she whips me or slaps me, it’s fine even if I bleed, because the human body has a self-healing function."

"But you must never use drugs."

"What’s the ultimate goal of being a kept man? It’s to spend the rich woman’s money and be with her until the very end. But if you lack self-control, you might end up kicking the bucket before she does."

"That makes sense." Zhang Zhe gave a thumbs-up, his face full of admiration. "Tang Monk probably had the same idea. Otherwise, how could he be that old and still be in such great shape?"

"Mr. Chi is the gold standard," the man said, waving his hand humbly. "The woman he found is from the Yehe Nara Clan. I can’t compare to him."

"So, besides working out and cosmetic surgery, are there any other avenues?" Zhang Zhe asked directly. "To be honest, most of the bros already know about those two, or at least they’ve heard of them."

"There are plenty of methods. I’ll pick two of the most fitting ones to talk about. There’s one skill that’s perfect for men but is overlooked by most: photography."

"Taking photos?"

"Exactly. If you’re not bad-looking and you work out, then photography is the fastest shortcut to becoming a kept man."