Lazy Dungeon Master

The Smashed Magic Drug

When I went the the backyard after hearing there was a dispute happening, I saw a flustered Meat, a repeatedly bowing Maidence, and a prostrating Shikina.

“I apologize for my incredible transgressioooooons!”

“E-e-even if you apologize, that won’t bring the medicine back! Besides, I-I am the one at fault, wh-what do I do… what can I do, what can I do!? I’m so sorry, Kuro-sama!”

“U-uh-ummm.”

“No! The blame is miiiiiine!”

“No, it’s miiiine! Aaaaah, Kuro-sama, I’m so sorry…”

“Umm…”

Dis… pute…?

I have no clue what the heck happened, but I take it the quarrel is over whose fault it is?

With that, my eyes and Meat’s met.

“G-Goshujin-sama!”

Bam!

With that, Maidence and Shikina looked at me as well.

Then came at me with watery eyes and noses… and clung to me.

“Wh-wh-wh-what should I do, Father-in-Laaaaaaw!?”

“Please help me, Masteeeeeeer!!”

“Maidence, could you not call me Father-in-Law so casually? And uhh, could you just explain what actually happened…?”

“Th-then allow me to explain it from my point of view…”

“No, from mine…”

“Ahh, yep. In that case, we’ll go with Mea—… with Kuro, then. Please explain what happened, with you two supplementing if needed.

Asking Meat by calling her Kuro since Maidence was here, she nodded.

*

“I’m happy that we could sleep together last night, Kuro-sama.”

“It was to improve our friendship…”

Kehma hadn’t returned that night at all, so Meat and Maidence chatted with one another, entered the onsen together, and slept in the same bed.

According to Maidence, there was no problem at all since they were engaged, apparently.

“With this, there is a fait accompli.”

“Fait accompli?”

Meat tilted her head in confusion, but Maidence simply smiled without giving an answer.

Setting aside the fait accompli matter, in actuality, the way they called each other had become more intimate.

“So, what was your impression of sleeping with me?”

“Nn, Mai, you smell good.”

“… Wha—, umm, s-smell? How embarrassing… K-Kuro-sama, you s-smelled good, too.”

Maidence fidgeted, her face blushing red.

Seeing her blue curls swing back and forth, Meat remembered the [Hairdressing] magic the maid used on her.

It was a magic she’d never seen before, so she felt that Nerune would be happy to hear about it.

She then took out her watch as if recalling something. It was the watch golem she’d received from Kehma.

“It’s time for my daily practice.”

“Kuro-sama, what is that?”

“What is what? … Oh, this? This is a clock I got from Goshujin-sama.”

“Such a small clock… is it from the dungeon? As expected of Kehma-sama.”

Seeming as though she’d decided to go along for practice as well, Maidence went to the dining room to get a breakfast sandwich together with her before heading to the inn’s backyard.

From the backyard, they saw a church that had definitely not been there the day before.

“U-umm, Kuro-sama, what is that building? It wasn’t there yesterday, was it?”

“…? I don’t know. Maybe Goshujin-sama did something.”

Seeing Meat say that as though it was natural, Maidence calmed down, thinking something similar.

“It is Goshujin-sama, after all.”

“Yeah, he is Kehma-sama.”

No matter how you put it, building a building in a day—no, overnight could only be seen as strange, but it was settled by the magic word that was his name.

“Oh, Kuroinu-dono! It’s your training time huh! Oh? Is this young girl your friend? She doesn’t look like a child from this village, though?”

“Nn. She’s Maidence, from Sia… Mai, this is Shikina, my junior.”

“Oh, nice to meet you. My name is Maidence Sia. I am Kuro-sama’s fiance.”

“! Excuse my discourtesy. This is the first time we have met, my name is Shikina Kukkoro1.”

When Mai introduced herself, Shikina straightened up and responded.

“Kukkoro? By some chance, are you [Beast King] Dyne Kukkoro-sama’s—”

“You know of my father? I am his daughter… More importantly, what is this about you being Kuroinu-dono’s fiance?”

“It is as I have said.”

By the way, Shikina’s father, Dyne Kukkoro, is famously known as the [Beast King] because he has so many summoned beasts following him that their numbers rival an army corps.

“If you are Dyne-sama’s daughter, does that mean you are a summoner as well?”

“… I am no good in that department. Currently, I am training under Master Kehma.”

“Well now! To be a friend of the Kukkoro family as well, as expected of Kehma-sama.”

“Rather, it is surprising that the Sia family’s little princess has been engaged to Kuroinu-sama.”

Maidence and Shikina were getting along well together, so Meat started practice-swinging in the meanwhile. The wooden practice sword made whooshing sounds as it swung through the air.

“… By the way, Maidence-dono, you aren’t actually a man, right? No, I mean, I have confirmed for myself that Kuroinu-dono is a girl…”

“I’m a woman. However, honestly, I have a certain thing, so there is no problem.”

Saying that, Maidence took out a strange, blood-like magical drug from her [Storage]—she had taken out [Futanaru].

“What is this potion?”

“It is a medicine that causes one’s sex to be thrown into chaos.”

“… It’s a magic drug of the Chaos God!? Heresy! I cannot overlook this as an imperial knight…”

“Eh? This, umm, it’s illegal?”

“… … … … It isn’t exactly illegal, but, well, I guess it’s in the grey area…? Most of the Chaos God’s drugs are addictive, so many are illegal depending on type and concentration… and judging by this one’s transparency it shouldn’t be permanent, so it might be alright, but… ah! That’s right, right now, the knight leader, Sally-sama is here! Let me ask her for a moment! So please, let me borrow that drug.”

Shikina grabbed onto the medicine bottle. Naturally, Maidence resisted.

“Eh, no, th-this is… I can’t marry Kuro-sama without this, so could we have her not take a look?”

“I cannot do that! But once we know that there are no problems with it, I will make sure to hand it back.”

“N-no! I might not get it back then!”

The two of them tugged back and forth on the bottle… neither were willing to let go.

“Gugugu, you are stubborn…”

“C-can we have her decide without taking a look at it? That way, we’ll both be happy, right? Right?”

“I have to get Sally-sama’s to make the call, else I cannot walk with my head held high…!”

Crack.

A crack ran through the bottle.

“Eh?”

“Kyah!?”

Upon hearing that sound, Maidence let go of it on reflex, causing Shikina to jerk all of a sudden due to the effort she was putting in. Suddenly slipping out of her hand, the bottle flew high up in an arc through the sky.

*

“… And then it hit the ground and absorbed into it?”

In that case, is the planet a futanari now?

No, we’re within the dungeon’s domain. In other words, the dungeon… Rokuko…?

No no, if that were the case, I would’ve realized something off in that lap pillow. Let’s think a little here.

“No, umm…”

“Well, it’s just, uhhh.”

Meat and Shikini looked away in extreme awkwardness.

“What, cat got your tongues? … Mai-sama, what happened?”

“… Well, the [Futanaru], it… it poured out onto Shikina-sama’s head.”

Hmm, I see. In other words—

“Masteeeeer! I don’t know how to use a peeeeniiiiis!!!!”

It seems that the disappointing elf got even more disappointing.