Keyboard Immortal

Chapter 597: A Tragic Sight

Translator: Pika

Shi Kun’s eyelids twitched, and he forced a smile with great difficulty. “Brother Zu completed the task so perfectly, there’s no way I could do any better. I won’t make a fool out of myself.”

“Oh? Young master Shi, are you going back on your words?” scoffed Zu An. "You made an oath just now. Don’t you remember?”

Shi Kun was about to cry. He never expected to shoot himself in the foot! He felt as though he was in a dream. He really couldn’t understand how the crown prince had managed to land all four knives!

The crown prince was still buzzing with excitement. “Exactly! Hurry up and go already. I feel great today, and I want to enjoy this feeling a little more.”

He was still a person, after all, and there was a limit to how long Zu An could control him. He was already incredibly thankful that he had managed to make it past the knife-throwing. The crown prince was now back to his usual self.

The crown prince himself felt as though he were drifting in the clouds. He had somehow made all four throws, yet he still sensed a strange emptiness within him. He wanted to do it again to relive the sensations.

Shi Kun looked at the crown prince in shock. Just a moment ago, the crown prince had given off a deep and unfathomable aura. Why did he now seem like an idiot again?

Is he doing this to get back at me?

No way. I’ve been at the crown prince’s side for so long! Even if I never made any huge contributions on his behalf, I’ve still worked hard! I should still be closer to him than Zu An, right? The crown prince surely plans to help me out and strike the four apples as well. That way, everyone will be happy.

With this thought, the boulder weighing down on him finally disappeared.

Zu An was growing impatient. “Young master Shi, if you aren’t going to compete, then just admit defeat. Crawl up to my feet and start barking like a dog.”

Wait… Having your feet licked by a grown man seems a little gross. Is this guy a freak? Why did he come up with these stakes? I guess I can just about put up with it if I get to see him act like a dog.

Shi Kun believed that he had figured out what the crown prince was thinking, so there was no way he was going to put up with this. His rage boiled over immediately. “Screw you! Do you think I’ll lose to you? If I have to do it, then I will!”

You have successfully trolled Shi Kun for 999 Rage points!

He walked over to the wall and spread his arms. “Come, put the apples on me! What do I need to worry about when the crown prince never misses?”

He showered the crown prince some praise, just as a failsafe.

“Of course! I don't miss.” The crown prince’s eyes weren’t large to begin with, and there was so much meat on his face. He was smiling so hard from all the praise he was hearing that his eyes completely disappeared.

Little Xu and Little He felt their own eyelids twitching. Crown prince… How could you say that? Aren’t you afraid that the spirits of all those little eunuchs that you killed would come back to haunt you?

After the apples were put in place, the crown prince suddenly muttered to himself, “I’ve already made four in a row. If I make another four in a row, that won’t really show off my skills. How about I blindfold myself, and make the throws that way?”

Fear stabbed into him, and Shi Kun felt his confidence shatter. He immediately said, “The crown prince is wise and honorable. Zu An and I made a wager, and it must be conducted fairly! The crown prince can practice throwing blindfolded another day!”

Little Xu and Little He cursed him silently. What the hell are you saying? Who else would be the targets if the crown prince were to practice throwing while blindfolded on a different day?

But they were only lesser eunuchs, while Shi Kun was the heir of the Minister of War, someone of venerable status whom they could not afford to offend. They had no choice but to hold in their resentment.

“Oh, is that right?” The crown prince felt slightly dejected. “All right then, I’ll begin. Hm… I guess I’ll start with the head.”

Shi Kun felt his knees begin to quiver.

“Crown prince, you are supposed to aim at the apple, not the head…” he reminded him weakly.

The crown prince’s eyes went wide. “I know that! Do you think I’m dumb? If you keep talking, I’m really going to throw it at your head.”

Shi Kun immediately apologized. “This subject doesn’t dare!”

He was cursing the crown prince silently. Given this fellow’s track record, it’s probably better if he aims for my head. That way, he would surely miss it.

After witnessing the earlier miracle for himself, though, he didn’t dare voice these thoughts.

The crown prince nodded in satisfaction, then raised the knife and took aim.

Shi Kun’s heart was pounding. The crown prince hadn’t done this earlier on! Every single throw had been quick, clean and efficient, yet he was taking his time to aim right now! Shi Kun couldn’t help but sense something amiss.

He stared at the crown prince’s hand. His heart seemed to be quivering in time with the motion of that hand.

The waiting was really the worst part. It would be better if he threw it right away.

As if sensing his thoughts, the crown prince finally threw the knife.

The knife was wobbling left and right, and did not have any of the grace of the previous throws.

Shi Kun was stupefied. What the hell?

Didn’t you say you were going to aim at the apple on my head?! Why are you aiming down there? Are you aiming at the one between my legs?

But the angle doesn’t seem right. It’s a little too high. If it doesn’t strike the apple, it’ll strike me in the vital area below my belt!

He had the luxury of thinking so many thoughts because the crown prince’s knife was travelling rather slowly. Shi Kun was a sixth rank cultivator, so he could clearly observe the knife’s trajectory.

The surrounding eunuchs and guards nodded. This was more in line with the crown prince’s usual skill. Wait, no, he’s actually doing pretty well. It’s only a few feet away from the target. After all, when he first started, there was an even chance that the blade would fly several zhang away from the target.

Shi Kun broke out in cold sweat. What do I do? What the heck do I do now?!

Is the crown prince trying to discipline me? But these aren’t normal knives! If they were normal knives, he could still brace himself and go along with it, but these Immortal Beheading Knives wounded the soul of their targets! He would be crippled if it hit, let alone being hit in his most precious area!

Not only would his prospects be ruined, he wouldn’t be able to live as a man anymore!

Just as the knife was about to reach him, he finally made his decision. Screw it! The most important thing is to retain my strength. After all, in this world of cultivation, one’s strength determines how high one can climb.

This was why he moved. He reached out his hand to grab the incoming blade. The tip of the blade was barely an inch away from his precious jewels.

He sighed in relief. His mind was already trying to work out his next move. There was no way Zu An would let him off the hook. Did he really have to kneel down and lick his shoes?

Before Zu An could say anything, the crown prince said unhappily, “Shi Kun, what are you doing? Why did you suddenly move? The apples have all fallen as well. Is it because you thought that I, the crown prince, would miss?”

Shi Kun resisted the urge to curse aloud. Can’t you see where you’re aiming? I almost became Eunuch Shi!

He was just about to say something when the door slammed open. “What nonsense are you all coercing the crown prince into now?!”

A beautiful woman was standing in the doorway, staring angrily at everyone. This was none other than the crown princess, Bi Linglong, who Zu An had met earlier.

Bi Linglong had been born into one of the Great Zhou Dynasty’s greatest clans. She was born beautiful and competent, so she had always been proud and arrogant. She was different from other women. Even though she was young, she boasted extensive knowledge, and harbored powerful ambitions.

She was married to the crown prince, the future empress. It should have been a dream for her, yet her husband just had to turn out to be a fool.

She would get angry whenever she saw her husband’s stupid appearance, but since she was already married to him, what else could she do? She tried her best to urge the crown prince to study hard. The crown prince’s aptitude at cultivation wasn’t anything special, which meant that he should apply himself to studying how to manage the affairs of government. Either way, given his status, he did not really need to attend to anything personally.

When all was said and done, even if he didn’t know how to handle government affairs, she would still be happy if he could become more like a normal person.

However, this stupid husband of hers never failed to cause her trouble. His shenanigans over talking to frogs the day before had already become the joke of the capital. Today, the crown tutor was supposed to arrange some assignments for him to aid in his study, yet she had suddenly heard from a maid that the crown prince seemed to be playing a game with some secretaries.

How dare you! Her rage had boiled over immediately, and she stormed over, even slamming the door open.

She couldn’t openly criticize the crown prince, so she had to vent her anger on those around him. She had already decided that she had to discipline the people around the crown prince. Let’s see who dares go along with the crown prince’s nonsense then!

If this had been any other time, those at the crown prince’s side would have already been begging for forgiveness. Now, though, no one was even looking at her. All of them were looking behind the door.

Her beautiful eyebrows knit together in a frown, and she turned around in confusion. She discovered that Shi Kun was standing behind the very door she had slammed open, his face deathly pale. He was holding onto a blade which had been stabbed into his crotch. Blood was still flowing down his legs, quickly forming a huge puddle.

Bi Linglong was stupefied. What the hell were these people playing at? They’re stabbing themselves? Down there?