Keyboard Immortal

Chapter 557: The First Valkyrie

Zu An was in a bit of a daze after listening to the explanation of this new system. He seemed to have returned to his previous world and the games he used to play. Wasn’t this Valkyrie System just a heartless waifu gacha game?!

These abysmal drop rates were the exact mechanism through which those gaming companies scammed everyone of their money! Countless people spent crazy amounts of money chasing after those SSR cards.

Of course, spending money wasn’t enough, since it all boiled down to luck in the end. For the sake of obtaining those SSR cards, people tried out all sorts of weird rituals to improve their luck. Those who prayed to the Buddha before trying their luck were rank amateurs. He’d once seen someone chanting strange ‘cthulhu’ incantations before he started drawing. It was as if he had gone completely mad…

Thinking about these familiar things from his previous world left Zu An feeling warm and fuzzy inside. When he considered this Valkyrie System again, he felt a sense of familiar intimacy.

Annoyingly, though, people in his previous world could just swipe their credit cards in order to obtain these things. What was the currency used for this System?

Rage points?

And what the hell was with that friendly reminder? It sounded so smug and sinister as it described to him just how low the probability of a successful draw was.

He was precisely the type of person who had bought lottery tickets without ever winning once…

But it was pointless to dwell on this now. He still had to give this new system a try.

He took out a Tiger Talisman and fiddled with it in his hands. It looked pretty similar to the Tiger Talismans of his previous world, but were much more exquisite. It was made of a material that seemed a mix of gold and jade, and there were many fine runes carved on its surface. These runes probably formed a link with the flow of space-time.

“The runes engraved on these talismans might have even more significance than those on the actual Tiger Talismans.” Zu An wasn’t in a rush to put it to use, but took his time to look it over.

Unfortunately, he knew nothing about runes, so these didn’t mean much to him. He decided to make an imprint of the runes, so that he could get someone to research them later.

He took out an ink set from his Brilliant Glass Bead. Unfortunately, the ink wouldn’t stay on the talisman, so he couldn’t make a print of it. Unwilling to give up just yet, he tried to copy them out himself. However, even though he could clearly make out the details of the runes, whenever he tried to replicate the lines, his mind would grow foggy, and he would inexplicably seem to forget.

After several unsuccessful tries, Zu An finally gave up. It was clear that these rune formations had some form of protection on them, precisely to prevent others from deciphering it.

“So stingy!” Zu An grumbled. Helpless to do anything about it, he could only hold the Tiger Talisman and say a sincere prayer, as the System stated.

A mysterious force spread out from his hand, and Zu An felt as though his body was levitating towards the heavens.

It seemed to him as though his soul had left his body, and he was ascending into the boundless starry expanse. All of a sudden, a powerful astral storm swept over him.

A flash of understanding struck him. This was probably the so-called chaotic flow of space-time.

Zu An focused his attention and carefully explored the flow. This chaotic flow of space-time was surrounded by a destructive power. Fortunately, he seemed to be enjoying the protection of some strange runes. Without them, he would’ve been instantly obliterated.

These are the runes on the Tiger Talisman…

Zu An pondered over the connection for a bit, but he quickly sensed several fine specks of light flickering within the chaotic stream.

“Could those be the so-called valkyries?”

Zu An was overjoyed. He tried to communicate with them using his soul. Unfortunately, his pleas seemed to elicit no response at all.

Then, a single speck of light responded, zipping towards him quickly.

Zu An beamed with happiness, and laughed crazily towards the heavens. “Hahaha! I am the protagonist after all! I’ve established a connection with a valkyrie on my very first try! Just what kind of crazy luck is this?”

I wonder if this valkyrie will be pretty… Ahem, I don’t judge by appearances! But I mean… if I had a choice, I wouldn’t mind someone who's cute…

Please, please, please don’t let it be someone like Solitary Lightning…

The image of Solitary Lightning, her body like that of a pillar of iron, flashed into Zu An’s mind. If he ended up with a valkyrie like that, he might just end his own life.

While his thoughts were running wild, the flickering speck of light had already appeared in front of him, and he subconsciously reached a hand out to catch it.

Huh? Why is it so light?

However, his expression changed a moment later, because what was inside his hand wasn’t a valkyrie, but a hat. A shining green hat.

Zu An couldn’t believe his eyes.

What the hell is this? He didn’t know why this Valkyrie System would give him a female hat. But he figured that since it came out of his usual lottery system, it probably wasn’t too bad of an item. Didn’t that Hat of Forgiveness he had drawn earlier have an amazing ability?

He quickly examined the hat in his hands. However, he was stupefied when the explanation of the item appeared in front of him.

Even though this is just a normal green hat that cannot be any more normal, if it is to your liking, put it on, and I’m sure you’ll be the hottest topic on the block!

“Fuck off!” Zu An tossed the hat away in anger.

Unlucky!

He couldn’t believe he had received this stupid thing on his first try. Even if he was going to buy a green hat, it would be for someone else to wear!

With a despondent expression, he took out a second Tiger Talisman and began the summoning ritual.

This time, he didn’t treat it as frivolously as before. Instead, he opened his heart to the flow completely, hoping that he could truly communicate with one of those specks of light.

A moment later, there was a response. He sensed the heat contained within this speck of light, and even his soul seemed to jump with excitement.

Zu An couldn’t help but smile. He’d heard that, when master alchemists and blacksmiths produced their proudest works, their souls would often resonate with these items. He never expected that he would end up having a similar experience.

Soon afterwards, the flickering speck of light reached his hand, and the light faded. He looked down at what he’d received.

“A book?”

Is this some type of exceptional secret manual?

But I already have three top-tier secret arts. That’s more than enough for me to handle right now...

Of course, he wouldn’t mind getting another one of the secret manuals from these Unknowable Regions. That would be absolutely amazing.

His heart was full of expectation. The first character that drew his attention was ‘Shao’.

Shao what?

Shaolin’s Seventy-Two Supreme Skills?

He continued reading. Suddenly, his eyelids twitched. The second word was ‘Fu’ (Woman).

Zu An told himself to calm down. Even emperors had to study the ‘Classic of the White Madam’[1]. Maybe this Shao Fu whatever was a similar technique.

However, he immediately had a bad feeling when he saw the third character—‘Bai’.

He quit stalling and read the entire title. Sure enough, the last character was exactly what he thought it was, and his face twisted in annoyance.

Still, Zu An refused to admit defeat. He flipped through the contents to see if this cover had just been slapped on the book, while its contents were something else entirely.

He was quickly disappointed. The contents were exactly the same as the book he was thinking about, and he had even written out a copy for Ji Dengtu back in Brightmoon City. He couldn’t be more familiar with the story.

His face utterly dark, he took out the third Tiger Talisman and tried his luck a third time.

When the light scattered, he saw a medicine pouch in his hands labelled ‘Sleeping Pills’.

Zu An was speechless.

Unconvinced, he gave them a try. After spending so much time with Ji Xiaoxi, he had picked up a couple of things about medicine himself. These were the most ordinary sleeping pills, and had no special effects at all.

He could buy this stuff by the kilogram back in Brightmoon City, and yet he’d used up a precious Tiger Talisman for them!

His three draws so far had all been trash! Didn’t the explanation state that they would all be things that resonated with his soul?

Don’t tell me I’m truly such a despicable and low-class being?

Zu An wept in anguish. I’m being wronged!

It took him a while to regain his composure after which, he continued to use his remaining Tiger Talismans.

He had made up his mind. If all ten attempts gave him trash, he would never use this stupid Valkyrie System again.

After all, if he really wanted to mooch off of girls, then there were plenty of candidates in the real world. Why did he have to chase after these valkyries, who might not even be real?

Perhaps the System somehow registered his complaints, because the following pulls weren’t as terrible as the first three. He ended up with a bunch of weapons—scimitars, wolf's-teeth clubs, meteor hammers…

Despite this, they were still common items. Even though some of them were sharp, they were made of the most basic materials. They were only high-quality items when compared to ordinary weapons.

He even received something that looked like a musical instrument. This jade ‘pipa’ looked quite precious, and it had an eye-catching appearance as well.

I’ll give this to one of my female friends later. Wait, I don’t think any of them play the pipa…

His mind wandered as he used the tenth Tiger Talisman, and a glowing ball of light quickly approached him. He was just wondering what kind of garbage he was going to get this time when his eyes suddenly widened. What appeared in front of him wasn’t an object, but a woman. An extremely beautiful woman.

He had already seen his fair share of beauties, yet the instant he saw her, it was as if something had exploded within his mind, leaving him in a daze.

Even more shocking than her appearance was the information that appeared next to her.

Endless charm shrouds this noble woman, whose figure is adorned in extravagant jade and golden silk. Her beauty rivals that of goddesses in the highest of heavens, yet in reality, she is the fox that caused the downfall of Yinshang.

“Da… Daji?”

1. This is a classical Chinese text on Taoist sexual practices.